Eric,
You are way too funny...
My only comment to you about wanting a pair is to do as the Nike commercial states -
Man, you got the talent, so just sleep a little less to squeeze in the time to make some sawdust and put them together.
Sleep, you don't need no stinkin' sleep!
Heck, you could break them in and probably sell them pretty easily. Come on man, stop pining for them, get on the dime and get on with it...
You could trial balloon the idea and pick a favorite/marketable veneer finish.
Okay, I am going to shut up now and sit back to await a picture of your personal speakers.