[thunderbrick]

All-out war has commenced. There's a temporary truce while everyone pretends it didn't happen, but it started with being ordered around in my own house, and ended with a dog thrown across the kitchen.   I opted NOT to throw a fist.  So far.  It WILL end on my terms no matter what the cost.   

The beer can is still on the floor.  Now there's one on my LP cabinet...

Good news?  Interstate 44 is closed due to flooding so parents-in-law probably won't make it.  Guess I'll have to listen to the Smothers Brothers CD all alone.....

[Bob in St. Louis]

The beer can is still on the floor.  Now there's one on my LP cabinet...

Leaving a permanent "wet ring"?!?!?!? 

Video Bob. Take some video!

[thunderbrick]

Good idea.  Maybe one of the neighbors has a GoPro.   

[S Clark]

Well, as entertaining as this ongoing story has been, there are no laughs in a division over in-laws.  Dealing with adult kids by marriage is usually a bit of strain. But the main thing is to keep it from causing hard feelings with the warden. I'm sure the flying poodle would forgive you for a bite of prime rib- more than I'd offer the SSIL.  Perhaps the dogs can be put in a different room, at least for mealtime. 

[thunderbrick]

This was inevitable.  I love dogs, but you don't train/control them by saying "NO!" and going back to what you were doing.  It's a pair of high-speed undisciplined children.  And those are the adults.

They've terrorized the bird, pissed on the tree, made a mess of our windows and patio door, etc.  The PARENTS leave their shit everywhere, blast music from a cellphone during breakfast, piled shoes in doorways, don't offer to help in any way, etc.  When they walk the dogs (50% of the time) they let them crap in OUR yard.  HE's extremely loud, laughs at what HE says, and thinks he knows everything.  Ad infinitum.

Sigh.  I fell better now.....

[thunderbrick]

Perhaps the dogs can be put in a different room, at least for mealtime.

Been tried.  They go apeshit and tear the place up.

[foz1982]

You are a better man than me. I don't think they would let me type on my laptop from a jail cell! 

[WGH]

Been tried.  They go apeshit and tear the place up.

We tried that only once too, the dogs were put in a bedroom to get them out of the way.
We learned that unwatched dogs + feather pillows is a really bad idea but we think they had a good time.

[S Clark]

Been tried.  They go apeshit and tear the place up.

Did they come in the in-law's car? If so, could they stay there during meals?  That way barking and tearing stuff up isn't an issue. 

[thunderbrick]

Did they come in the in-law's car? If so, could they stay there during meals?  That way barking and tearing stuff up isn't an issue.

\\

Oh, no, that would inconvenience the dogs and we CAN'T have THEM unhappy.......

[mightym]

T-Brick, you have the patience of a saint.  I just logged on, this thread was at the top of the list, and I couldn't resist.  I hope your patience lasts until the visit ends.

BTW, I've almost wet myself giggling at this, if National Lampoon hasn't offered you massive amounts of money for your story, they are sorely mistaken.

But then Hollywood hasn't had an original idea in decades, and no taste anyway.

John

[Bob in St. Louis]

On a BBQ forum I belong to, there's a similar thread, but without the awesome, ongoing story. It's mainly just bitching.
I thought this post was great and wanted to share here.
================

"Deepsouth"

That reminds me of something my buddy posted on facebook earlier today....

"Personally, I loathe forced interactions with "family." It's not my idea of a holiday at all. It's physically and emotionally taxing as fark. The holidays remind me time and time again that, like bell hooks tells us, love does not have to come with abuse, that at some point we owe it to ourselves, if we want to practice self-care, to not settle for anything less than an encompassing and fulfilling love. This does not mean love without struggle, no such thing exists. It means that we do not force trauma onto ourselves in the name of a faux unity created by birth, with people who do not see or seek empathy with our pain. It means we release ourselves from the backwards construct that family or love mean constantly reengaging the experiences, places, memories, and people that wound us most. This holiday season I want to remind myself (and you) that the best holidays are yet to come, that I am redefining what they mean to me by setting new traditions, making new memories, and reshaping what love can be in my life with people who see me for all that I am. Torn. Hurting. And hopeful."

[santacore]

thunderbrick, you misfortune has brought many of smiles and giggles, thank you for that. Wishing you the best in these trying times....

[Guy 13]

Thunderbrick you have a way to put your misfortune in a way that we all find funny,
even if we know that's it's not funny for you.
I wish that all your miseries will end with the new year...
Thanks for entertaining us.
You really have a special way (Talent) to put things in writing.

Guy 13
 

[mresseguie]

TB,

OMG! For whatever reasons, I had waited till just now to read this thread. Early on I was thrilled by your patience and the humor of it all, but as I read more, I became concerned. Clearly, your SSIL (my mind keeps saying Stupid Son-In-Law) lacks any understanding of his and others' boundaries. It may require your sitting him down (with his damned phone turned off!) and giving him a written list of boundaries that he and his family must adhere to while they are your guests. This may be more difficult to accomplish since they're already under your roof, but it is very important to do this before any more explosions happen.

We have good friends whom we visit a couple times every year (and they visit us) who post a lit of boundaries that all guests must abide by if they wish to be welcomed again in the future. If we/guests are unable to abide by the boundaries, a list of nearby motels is offered well before arrival dates. We abide by the boundaries because we like and respect our friends.

Even if you do not sit him/them down while they are in your house, make sure to write up a list of boundaries for future guests, and to mail to your dear SSIL's family to make them aware of their transgressions.

Best of luck in the future. It's been my experience that I maintain best relationships with in-laws when visits are at restaurants - not in my home. Though that doesn't always work out. 

[daves]

In-laws are like fish, they both go bad after three days unless stored elsewhere.

[Pete Schumacher]

TB,

OMG! For whatever reasons, I had waited till just now to read this thread. Early on I was thrilled by your patience and the humor of it all, but as I read more, I became concerned. Clearly, your SSIL (my mind keeps saying Stupid Son-In-Law) lacks any understanding of his and others' boundaries. It may require your sitting him down (with his damned phone turned off!) and giving him a written list of boundaries that he and his family must adhere to while they are your guests. This may be more difficult to accomplish since they're already under your roof, but it is very important to do this before any more explosions happen.

We have good friends whom we visit a couple times every year (and they visit us) who post a lit of boundaries that all guests must abide by if they wish to be welcomed again in the future. If we/guests are unable to abide by the boundaries, a list of nearby motels is offered well before arrival dates. We abide by the boundaries because we like and respect our friends.

Even if you do not sit him/them down while they are in your house, make sure to write up a list of boundaries for future guests, and to mail to your dear SSIL's family to make them aware of their transgressions.

Best of luck in the future. It's been my experience that I maintain best relationships with in-laws when visits are at restaurants - not in my home. Though that doesn't always work out.

Better yet, since SSIL's nose is always aimed at his electronic pacifier, trickle the list, text by text across his phone, keeping him occupied constantly until he gets upset enough about the constant notifiers that he makes an effort to find out what the heck is bothering Brick.

I'm entertained by all this, but this isn't Chevy Chase pretending here.  And yes it would make for an awesome Lampoon episode, but not only is Brick being completely disrespected in his own home, the ungrateful and oblivious are obviously made to feel that this is acceptable behavior by not having any repercussions for it.  SSIL may be an adult, but all kinds of adults get told what is unacceptable behavior in certain environments, like work for example.  The Warden obviously knows that Brick is being walked all over but she's not demanding the respect for her husband that he deserves.  And likewise from Brick for her.  They both deserve respect that those she's seeking it from don't seem to want to offer.  The female in-laws get along great, which leaves Brick having to deal with everything else.

"Come back any time.  But leave SSIL and the dogs at home."  Message received.

Great idea on the laxative for the dogs . . . love it!

[thunderbrick]

Just when you think it can't get worse...

My daughter's wonderfully-behaved, well-adjusted, HAPPY family just left.  SSSIL is texting and the warden and her future DIL are looking at old family photos.  Great fun and warmth.

One dog walks through the living room with other one's front legs clasped tightly around his waist.  The REALLY stupid one is just humpin' away as they walk past....

[Wind Chaser]

...so I don't ruin Christmas for the warden.

I suspect the warden has no idea of just how truly and utterly fucked up your Christmas has been.

In the wake of the aftermath (when the storm passes) you need to have a sit down with the warden, explain what you have been through, maybe even show her this thread. She needs to know.

[Bob2]

I was wondering how the Warden feels about all of this...

I say we all donate and send a bottle of good Scotch or Bourbon to ease the pain a bit.