Joke of the Day

Don_S · « **Reply #1860 on:** 20 Feb 2017, 04:07 pm »

Redneck's last words.

"Hold my beer and watch this."

Bob2 · « **Reply #1861 on:** 20 Feb 2017, 05:30 pm »

College student's last three words..
Hey, watch this!

Don_S · « **Reply #1862 on:** 20 Feb 2017, 05:35 pm »

Quote from: Bob2 on 20 Feb 2017, 05:30 pm

College student's last three words..
Hey, watch this!

College student's last words.

"Hold my beer and watch this".

Bob2 · « **Reply #1863 on:** 20 Feb 2017, 05:55 pm »

Quote from: Don_S on 20 Feb 2017, 05:35 pm

College student's last words.

"Hold my beer and watch this".

Ok! You win!

Don_S · « **Reply #1864 on:** 20 Feb 2017, 06:18 pm »

Quote from: Bob2 on 20 Feb 2017, 05:55 pm

Ok! You win!

brooklyn · « **Reply #1865 on:** 21 Feb 2017, 12:28 am »

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw
Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later,
the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you? 'Morris replied, 'Just
doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

brooklyn · « **Reply #1866 on:** 21 Feb 2017, 12:34 am »

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly,
painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Peter J · « **Reply #1867 on:** 21 Feb 2017, 11:15 pm »

jhm731 · « **Reply #1868 on:** 23 Feb 2017, 06:13 pm »

jhm731 · « **Reply #1869 on:** 26 Feb 2017, 03:04 am »

A guy is looking for a place to sit in the crowded library.He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology,

and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy then responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? ... . . THAT'S ROBBERY!"

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

The guy then whispered in her ear: "I study law: I know how to screw people."

jhm731 · « **Reply #1870 on:** 28 Feb 2017, 09:18 pm »

mightym · « **Reply #1871 on:** 1 Mar 2017, 11:09 pm »

Sign seen on a tree in the forest...

"WARNING"

Baiting Deer is Illegal

This corn pile is meant for Squirrels, Chipmunks, and other such small animals

Any Deer found eating this pile of corn WILL BE SHOT

avta · « **Reply #1872 on:** 2 Mar 2017, 12:58 am »

Have you heard the one about the plastic surgeon who hung him self?

JakeJ · « **Reply #1873 on:** 2 Mar 2017, 02:39 am »

LesterSleepsIn · « **Reply #1874 on:** 4 Mar 2017, 10:43 pm »

Yum, a sure way to beat the winter blahs or a suggestion to ride share with Little Debbie.

djbnh · « **Reply #1875 on:** 5 Mar 2017, 06:31 pm »

mightym · « **Reply #1876 on:** 5 Mar 2017, 10:40 pm »

So, Friday evening, I'm on my way home, sitting in a 10 mile back up for a grass fire.

Twice in 35 minutes we crept past temporary construction signs that assured us all that there were no delays on I-40....

So ironic, had to laugh....

I.Greyhound Fan · « **Reply #1877 on:** 6 Mar 2017, 12:30 am »

Quote from: djbnh on 5 Mar 2017, 06:31 pm

ROFLMAO

I had to forward this one to some of my friends.

jhm731 · « **Reply #1878 on:** 7 Mar 2017, 05:29 pm »

djbnh · « **Reply #1879 on:** 9 Mar 2017, 12:29 am »