I once stayed at the Hotel California.
OK, it had a different name. And it was in Cleveland. But I'm sure it's the real place. Well...mostly sure. I guess I have some small doubts given that I was actually able to leave (whew!) ...but I presumed the Eagles had taken a little poetic license to make the song a bit more interesting.
Of course, this leads me to observe that I probably know exactly what the song is about.
The Eagles had obviously travelled to Cleveland to attend the wedding of a woman who used to share an apartment with the fiance of one of the band-members. The happy couple had made a group-booking at this establishment so that many of the guests could get a reduced rate, and they had assured everyone of the hotel's comfort and charm. Unfortunately, the wedding turned out to be on one of the hottest weekends in Cleveland history, and The Eagles arrived at the hotel to find that it had no air conditioning, no bar and no television. This wouldn't have been so bad in most cases. But as the hotel also seemed only to possess one iron, The Eagles were forced to wait around the establishment for what seemed like an eternity for their turn to be able to iron the wrinkles out of their good pairs of levis before the wedding. The wait was excruciating. Not even the nearly-authentic Spanish styling of the establishment could soothe them. With no booze nor television for distraction, they turned to the only diversion they had left: writing a song that would serve as a scathing commentary on their stay, an eternal warning to other travellers never to make the same accommodation mistake they had made.
Of course, their tendency to exaggerate the diabolical nature of the place, their inscrutable imagery and the unfortunate realisation that "Hotel Cleveland" didn't fit the meter of the music they had penned meant that the true meaning of their commentary would remain unappreciated for many years to come, and that their warning would forever arrive far too late to save anybody from a similar fate.
All of this should lead me to have some sympathy for The Eagles. But I just can't find it in my heart. I really don't like them and, although I've never really had an aversion to Hotel California, on principle I feel I should object to it whole-heartedly.
Chad