[Rocket]

Hi Guys,

Thankx The Chairguy for bumping this thread to the top again.

Can we think of any more Really good or funny excuses we can use?
I have used all of my excuses and need some other to use.  I have to keep my wife on her toes   .

I like Carlman's excuse, indicating that the hifi component is a demo unit.

Marbles' excuse is a ripper imho, i can't think of many wives denying the purchase of a new hifi component compared to a Gun   .

Regards

Rocket

[JohnR]

Is it not possible to disguise hifi equipment as whitegoods?

Just wondering, never tried it myself

[MaxCast]

My biggest problem is when the VISA bill comes.  "Why is this so high? and what is this paypal?"  

I give her and the kids "extra" money through out the year so that helps.

A few years ago I found a great deal on a set of Paradigm speaks...she actually gave me enough money to buy them  ...I paid her back later.

[JoshK]

My dad is into 'Jeepin'.  He has a 2002 Jeep Wrangler Sport 4.0 that he has about $15,000 into in after market mods.  He and my uncle go off-roading every chance they get in the logging roads and trails up in the Pacific Northwest.  It is a blast and my wife even liked it except for when we almost rolled backwards down the hill.

I tell her that I could always pick up the jeepin hobby.

[WerTicus]

what i find worked best for me was beating my wife everyday i DIDNT get an upgrade.  

That way when you do get an upgrade she gets a day of respite so she learns to love each and every upgrade as much as you!  

[Eric D]

I knew that this should get adapted someday.  I take no credit whatsoever - I’m plagiarizing shamelessly from a message on Collecting Bicycles, written by Knapp Hudson  (KnappH@aol.com) on 26 Aug 1995 (which you’ll find out in reading was also plagiarized from another source).  

Without further ado:

********************
It takes a lot of planning to be able to accumulate an AV equipment collection.  For those of you who have not yet begun to accumulate your collection I would like to suggest a strategy for your consideration. This strategy is to be used when your significant other, be they he, she, or undecided, does not share your passion for acquiring electronics.

The Strategy is based on the writings of Patrick McManus, author of The Grasshopper Trap - also They Shoot Canoes, Don't They, Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, and A Fine and Pleasant Misery. All of these books are great reading. Just don't try to read them when your partner is trying to sleep, your laughs are sure to wake them.

In The Grasshopper Trap there is a chapter titled Gunrunning in which McManus provides a primer on strategies and tactics for bringing a new gun home. This advice is appropriate for AV electronics collectors also. The following is taken from McManus' book substituting AV electronics for guns:
 
Now here’s the typical situation the new collector faces. He or she will start with basic stereo or home theater, their partner granting them the benefit of the doubt that this is  actually needed. After you get a basic setup, the first argument that you need an upgrade or a new piece of electronics be dismissed by your partner with an upward roll of the eyeballs and a big sigh. We are talking only the first item here, remember, nothing more. If you are newly together, upward-rolling eyeballs and big sighs may seem formidable obstacles, but they're really not that serious. Go buy your new thingie and bring it home. The eye-roll and big sighs will let up after a few days. Now comes the biggie - the second new piece.

With the mere mention that you need something more, the partner skips right over the eyeball-rolling and big sighs and goes directly to a recital of your deficiencies of character, weird quirks, and all sins committed to date.  They will bring up such matters as saving for retirement, the fact they are still wearing the clothes their parents bought them in high school, the threatening note from the electric company, etc. "And you want another toy!" they will finish, the sarcasm flickering about the room like sheet lightening.

The second additional piece is the tough one, and in the face of this assault, there is always the temptation to sneak it in. That's a mistake. Your partner's knowing you purchased something new is essential to further development of your collection. Here's why. After you bring it home and show it to your partner, they will shake their head and say, "I don't know why you need all that." Note that they don't list the items but rather the vague and general "all that." Henceforth, they will think of your AV equipment collection not in terms of specific numbers but as a single collective entity - all!

To thoroughly grasp this important concept, suppose your partner is looking at your home theater/sound room. "You and all your equipment," they might say, possibly with a very tiny tolerant smile. What they fail to notice is that is that you’ve added yet another piece! Once the psychological barrier of the second new box is crossed, the collection can be expanded indefinitely with the partner's not noticing, provided you use some common sense and don't add too much at once. Two to three a year is about right, spaced at decent intervals.

There is one pitfall in this strategy - the equipment rack. Although your partner will never bother to count the boxes, they will notice the empty spaces. Therefore, you must make sure that there the rack always has three empty slots, even as your collection expands from four to forty. If you plan on enlarging your collection, select a rack that can be expanded by adding on new sections, so that there are always three or more empty slots. It works.

But how do you get all those boxes into the house without your partner's knowing, you ask. Actually, it is all right if every few years you simply walk right into the house and say, "Look, dear, I bought a new piece of gear."

"Neato," they will say. "I'm ecstatic. Now tell me, why did you want to buy it when you already have all that other stuff? I'll bet you haven't used most of them in the past five years."

Use them?  Yes, a partner will actually say that. They will not be able to comprehend that you needed the gear because you needed it. They will not understand that you need that preamp just to be there, to be your preamp, to be looked at and fondled from time to time. They will not be able to fathom that you need a phono stage even though you’ve spent the last year improving your 7.1 home theater. Tell them an AV equipment collection is like wilderness. Even though we don't use all of it all the time, we need to know it's there. Probably it won't do any good to tell them that, buts it's worth a try.

Stating the simple truth often works in explaining an occasional purchase. But why take unnecessary risks? Go with your best lie and get it stashed in your expandable rack as quickly as possible.

Oddly enough, there are a few really good lies for explaining the purchase of a new piece of gear. There's the classic "A Fantastic Bargain," of course, in which you will tell your partner that the SACD player you just paid $995 for was on sale for $139.  If their eyebrows shoot up in disbelief, you mention that three men in white coats showed up at the audio shop and led the manager away before he could slash the prices on the rest of their inventory. Indeed, you say, you could have bought power conditioners for your whole system for a total of eighty-five dollars, but you didn't want to take excessive advantage of a crazy person.

The "Play on Their Sympathy Ploy" works well on young, inexperienced partners. It goes something like this: Rush into the house wiping tears of joy from your cheeks. Then cry out, "Look, look! A person at work sold me this Macintosh amplifier. Its identical to the one my grandfather gave me on his deathbed. Gramps said to me, I'm givin' you ol' Betsy here, because every time you listen to it, you will remember all the good times you and I had together.' Oh, how I hated to sell that amp to pay for mother's operation! But now I got one just like it! Or maybe it's even the same amp! Do you think it might actually be the same amp?"

Warning! Don't try the Sympathy Ploy on your partner if you have been together for longer than five years, unless you want to see a person laugh themselves sick. It's a disgusting spectacle, I can tell you.

The "Fantastic Investment" lie will work on occasion provided you lay the ground work carefully in advance. "That ol' Harvey Schmartz is a shrewd one," you say. "He bought this classic turntable for six hundred dollars as an investment. Three weeks later he sold it for eighty-seven thousand dollars! Boy I wish I could lay my hands on a collectable turntable. We'd sell it when we retire and buy us a condo in Aspen and tour Europe with the change."

After you've used up all your best lies, you are left with only one option. You must finally screw up your courage, square your jaw, and make up your mind that you are going to do what you probably should have done all along - sneak the new equipment into the house.

Here are some proven techniques for stereo-sneaking:

The Surprise Party -You arrive home and tell your partner that you have to go to a surprise birthday party for one of your riding partners and picked up a special cake on your way home. "Oh, how clever!" they will exclaim. "A birthday cake shaped like a DVD player.  This is also known as "The DVD-in-Cake Trick."

The Lamps - You buy a lampshades and attach then to your new speakers. "Look, sweetheart," you say to your partner. "I bought new lamps for the living room." They gag. "Not for this living room," they growl. "Take it to your home theater and don't ever let me see those monstrosities again!" A variation on this ploy is to paste photos on surround sound speakers and call them wall art.

The Loan - A audio friend shows up at your door and hands you your new equalizer. "Thanks for loaning me one of your equalizers," they say. "I'll do the same for you sometime." Make sure your accomplice can be trusted, though. I tried "The Loan" with a friend one time and he didn't show up at my door with the equalizer for a month, on the day after he finally got a new subwoofer with a built-in eq, as I recall.

Spare Parts-Disassemble the your new universal transport and carry it home in shopping bags. Mention casually to your partner that you picked up some odds and ends from the junk bin down at Joe's audio shop. If there is a question about the enclosure, you can explain that you found it at the dump when you were taking the trash. Works like a charm! (By the way, does anyone know how to align a laser?)

Hope the above ideas are helpful in building your collection.

[TheChairGuy]

Another outstanding post to an already shameful and dishonest treasure of a topic.  Simply outstanding - you are a true credit to loathesome and lying audio and video geeks everywhere, Eric D.

[nature boy]

I have had poor luck trying to sneak things into the house, even the smallest of items.  I think my wife has a sixth sense.  She found out very quickly about the PayPal thing and now realizes that I am simply obsessed with upgrading my system.  It will never stop.

This is actually a good time of year for a new purchase with Valentine's Day next week.  I try to time my purchases so I don't catch her during her "elevated emotional period" each month, if ya know what I mean.

Actually we are about to dump some $ into a new car for her and a major kitchen remodel. Hopefully she will be a happy camper for a while.  Maybe its a good time to pick up those VMPS RM30's - hmmmmmm.

NB

[WerTicus]

i havnt been going out with my girl friend for even a year yet and she has definatly caught on about the hi fi 'thing'

She understands though that i love my stereo more than her and that if she cant handle that she can go away

[Mag]

Just have the new gear couriered over. When she asks," what's up with that?" You tell her, your doing a professional review for AudioCircle. And just for writing a review they're letting you keep it. Let her know before hand you've volunteered when she's too busy to listen to you.
   Once everything is set up and you've had a day or two to relax. Get out the  tape measure make some measurements making sure she sees you and start writing your review. Remember, this has to be a thorough review and could take several weeks. Having a professional looking letter sent to you by one us before hand may also help in pulling this off.
  Keep in mind you may need future upgrades or shall I say reviews. So be sure to sell this to her convincingly.  
 
P.S. Be sure to hide the bill.

[tex-amp]

I use Bill's method.  Basicly,  "would you rather me be here with you and the kids or out at titties bars spending money on drinking and table/lap dances and what not like all my friends"

Also, showing what going to the movies really costs helps.  Tickets for two-$19(w/the kids-$32), Popcorn etc- $10-15(with the kids-$25-30), parking $5, babysitter $20-25,  our car costs 50 cents a mile to operate according to Edmunds.com's TruCost calculator-$20

So, it costs us around $80 to go see a movie hence just watching 4-5 movies at home and the new DVD player pays for itself.

[TheChairGuy]

Check you out, tex-amp, stooping sooo low as to use Edmunds TruCost Calculator for driving expenses to justify your illness!

Truly, a warm welcome to the club.  You are ill.  

[Rocket]

Hi Guys,

One other idea i have is to have separate savings accounts   .  This is what i have and i always make sure i get to the letterbox first.

You can hide your hifi transactions that much easier.   A bit deceitful i admit but .....  if it works    .

Anyway that's it for me i'm out of ideas.

regards

rocket

[witchdoctor]

I pity the pathetic loser who can't buy what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, with his own ---- money.
Be a man damnit!
If you get ANY grief from your spouse, move out, get what you want, and realize how lucky you are to be rid of someone who obviously had a goal of making you miserable!!

[mjosef]

Hooray for the witchdoctor...spoken like a 'reeel' man...lol. Funny what compromises we make just to sustain a relationship. DO women have to sneak a new pair of shoes or a handbag or whatever womanly thing into the house?
I really got a kick out of this thread. Heads up guys.

[Mark B. James]

Tell your significant other that you saw a movie about street racing and want to buy a motorcycle.  Collect brochures, rent motorcycle movies, make comments like "look at that wimp, duh, helmets are for chumps".  Tell her that you want to be able to really live and that spending $30k on a motorcycle will make you truly happy.  Then mention that you're also maybe thinking of spending that money instead on a $10k set of speakers. You'll find that your wife will become very supportive of your sedentary hobbies when put in proper perspective.

I always make a point of showing my fiancee pictures of the ugliest equipment.  "Ooh, honey, we should get a set of these giant black Magnepans for the middle of the living room - they sound best when they're 8 feet from any wall"  "Oh wow, look at that Vyger Indian turntable - the base weighs 300 pounds and would look great in our system".  She always seems extremely happy with the equipment that I do in fact wind up buying.

Actually though, I'm lucky to have a girl that is pretty supportive of my audio addiction and has a touch of the bug herself.  I'll come home and she'll be sitting in the sweet spot blasting Harry Connick Jr.  She invites friends over to listen to records.  I haven't really felt the need to deceive.

[Bill O'Connell]

Mark B,  you truly are a blessed man, don't let her get away.

[randytsuch]

Mark B,
Get back to use when you are married for a while.  See if spending money on stereo is still the same   .

Not that my wife changed after we got married, I was the only one that changed, and obviously not for the better.

After I got busted lying to my wife about the price of my SACD 1000, I just started charging stuff on our credit card.  Before that, I used paypal, which was linked to MY checking account, so she did not see those bills.

So now she sees the bills, but she can't accuse me of trying to sneak things by her.

The last thing is we agreed to an annual budget.  I get 2K a year for my hobby.  Good thing I made that agreement after I bought my SA-14   .

Randy

[DARTH AUDIO]

I agree 200% with the Witchdoctor. Be a "MAN" damn-it Next you'll tell us you're voting for Hilary because your wife is!!!  

[Rocket]

Hi Guys,

I've just ordered one of modwright's swl 9.0 preamps and power supply and it should arrive in about 2 weeks time.

All i have to figure out is do i either use one of my older excuses (she hasn't any idea a new present is arriving   ) or try to come up with a new one?

I was thinking of using Carlman's excuse and saying it is was on demo for an extended period.

Like most wife's she knows how to get me back if she's pi....ed at me   .

regards

rocket