Joke of the Day

jschwenker · « **Reply #3120 on:** 22 May 2023, 08:25 pm »

My friend said he’d watched a video of a guy doing 50 pushups.
He asked me if I could do that.
I said “Sure, I could probably watch someone do 100 or more pushups!"

Cheers, John

mix4fix · « **Reply #3121 on:** 23 May 2023, 03:54 am »

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

jschwenker · « **Reply #3122 on:** 24 May 2023, 12:43 am »

I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters and your whole text message is urined.

Cheers, John

simon wagstaff · « **Reply #3123 on:** 24 May 2023, 02:15 am »

Did you hear about the guy from Cartegena who had his left arm, left nut, and left leg blown off in battle?

He's all right now.....

fado · « **Reply #3124 on:** 24 May 2023, 06:54 am »

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his friend in the woods?

jschwenker · « **Reply #3125 on:** 24 May 2023, 11:00 pm »

Then there was the worker who fell into the upholstery machine.
He's now fully recovered.

Cheers, John

avta · « **Reply #3126 on:** 25 May 2023, 03:51 pm »

This elderly woman called the electric company. " Can you send a man over..I've been using candles for a month! "

pansixt · « **Reply #3127 on:** 27 May 2023, 02:57 am »

jschwenker · « **Reply #3128 on:** 27 May 2023, 08:30 pm »

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
At work, I had a workstation.

Cheers, John

jschwenker · « **Reply #3129 on:** 29 May 2023, 03:25 am »

Waitress asked: “How did you find your steak, sir?”
I said: “I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was!"

Cheers, John

mix4fix · « **Reply #3130 on:** 29 May 2023, 05:38 am »

Why did the employee get fired from the keyboard factory?

He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3131 on:** 29 May 2023, 10:44 pm »

Pro tip: Save the business cards of people you don’t like.
And then if you dent someone’s car in a parking lot, just write “Sorry" on the back of one of them and leave it under the wiper.

Cheers, John

jschwenker · « **Reply #3132 on:** 31 May 2023, 12:42 pm »

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants to get back together again.
I sure am lucky!... First I win the lottery and now this!

Cheers, John

nlitworld · « **Reply #3133 on:** 2 Jun 2023, 01:36 am »

I had a dream last night that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. When I woke up, I realized it was just a Fanta sea.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3134 on:** 3 Jun 2023, 03:51 pm »

A male Praying Mantis walks into a bar and says, "I hope this isn't ladies night".

Cheers, John

jschwenker · « **Reply #3135 on:** 7 Jun 2023, 02:23 am »

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of joke…
But they are a solid #2.

Cheers, John

jschwenker · « **Reply #3136 on:** 9 Jun 2023, 11:32 pm »

I had an appointment to see my psychic next week -
but she called me and told me I wouldn’t be able to make it.

Cheers, John

jschwenker · « **Reply #3137 on:** 13 Jun 2023, 02:27 am »

If you had a choice between eating tacos everyday or being slim and trim for the rest of your life…
would you... choose hard or soft shells?

Cheers, John

jschwenker · « **Reply #3138 on:** 14 Jun 2023, 02:13 am »

jschwenker · « **Reply #3139 on:** 19 Jun 2023, 06:04 pm »

"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx

Cheers, John