Excuse my ignorance but what is a lap dance? 
Go get some hot cocoa.... sit down..... i have a little story for you.
here's Wikipedia's version of it
A lap dance is a specific type of erotic dancing/erotic dance/sexual encounter offered in some strip clubs or (somewhat more formal) gentlemen's clubs in which the client/patron is seated, and the dancer/sex worker is either in immediate contact (contact dancing) with the patron/client, or within a very short distance. Depending on the local jurisdiction and community standards, lap dances can involve touching of the dancer/sex worker by the patron, the patron/client by the dancer/sex worker, neither, or both; the dancer/sex worker may be naked, topless or fully clothed. Variant terms include couch dance which is a lap dance where the customer is seated on a couch, and bed dance where the customer lies down. In some places a block session (usually half an hour to an hour) can be booked in the champagne room, where the dancer and the patron talk in an intimate setting and drink champagne together. The dancer/sex worker might perform lap dances too, depending on the patron's wishes.
