Here is a Amadeus (Falco kick ass clip.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCMSydlCNhA&mode=related&search=
Imperial
I guess this is where I start not getting it.
If there was such a thing as hell - this is the sort of "music" I would expect to be subject to and not be able to turn off.
To my mind this is utterly (and tragically) lacking in musical values, except for a few technical ones like good pitch and tempo, and reflects the abysmal state of music education in the schools and the relentless exposure on the airwaves for the last 30 years.
I know I am far from the norm in this attitude, but I am used to having control over what I listen to.
17 years ago I worked as a salesman in a high end stereo store and this sort of thing was playing almost continuously in the background because the owner was an ex hair band (Spandex and make up) lead guitarist and could play somewhat like this clip. After a few days I had to restrain myself from trashing the stereo. I was amazed at the violent feelings it brought out in me - I am not a very violent person, but I felt like destroying the stereo, not just turning it off - just to make a statement, I guess. 
Yeah, I hear ya!
But, also consider this, you don't like this kind of music. You most likely don't listen to it at all.
I do, and have been doing for some 20 years, all sort of metal and otherwise guitarist music.
There is a difference between heavy metal guitarists, but to be able to determin who is better or who is musical...
Well... I'm told that the Drummer in Slip Not is just about as good as a drummer can get..
But he does not play jazz, so we will never know how good he really is? Huh?
The leadsinger in Metallica is a really good blues guitarist.. But he never plays it...
But you can hear that metallica is different melodically from the other crazy speed bands...
You can tell that Kirk Hammet (The lead guitarist) is good, but not even close melodically to the vocalist way of handling melody...even if he plays much slower than Kirk. You can tell who is the better guitarist...
Now James Hetfield cannot play as fast as Kirk, never could... but together... OY!!! That is the metallica sound!
Yeah, maybe this Matt dude will become a guitarist in a band later on, where his place is finally found!
Maybe someone will take him on as a apprentice and hone his skills so that he is "musically adept" ...
But for now, he has the verve the energy and the will to practice! Let's hope he stays on that route!
On the other hand... This is a different player on youtube.. One that plays slower... but just listen to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DicgnTBQ2R8 Gustavo Guerra....
I bet this is more to you liking then?
Or here where he plays Yngvie....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTvI43xx8qo&mode=related&search= 
Or maybe some Satriani? You hate him too?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us3rw-QY9DQ Muahahah!!!

Okay, ending here with a treat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIdjLw-7Xa0This is Meshugga... Jazz fusion Metal band... Awesome drum work and unusual guitar..
This is a Jazzy frestyle type of jam session with a Electric guitar where you normally would find a Sax...
It's unusual to say the lest! The drummer is Morgan Agren, has played for Frank Zappa, Steve Vai etc.
Morgan is a good as you can get behind a set of sticks.. Regardless of musical style by the way...
Imperial