Joke of the Day

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Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1740 on: 19 Aug 2016, 12:48 pm »

JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1741 on: 19 Aug 2016, 04:04 pm »
That reminds me of yoga class...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsvyjePPFRs

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1742 on: 21 Aug 2016, 07:37 pm »



JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1743 on: 21 Aug 2016, 07:43 pm »



Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1744 on: 21 Aug 2016, 09:29 pm »
"The Divorce Horserace".

Lots of bad words, but still funny.
https://youtu.be/iIOOS0fMOLE

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1745 on: 21 Aug 2016, 09:50 pm »



JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1746 on: 1 Sep 2016, 01:39 am »
Little Johnny's mother was cleaning out his room when she found a bunch of S&M magazines under his mattress.

She anxiously pulls Johnny's father aside and shows him the magazine stash. With a hushed voice, she asks "What should we do?"
 
His father looks at her and says "I'm not sure, but I don't think we should spank him..."

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1747 on: 2 Sep 2016, 10:51 pm »



brooklyn

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1748 on: 7 Sep 2016, 06:07 pm »



Guy 13

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1749 on: 8 Sep 2016, 03:28 am »

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1750 on: 15 Sep 2016, 04:39 pm »



JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1751 on: 16 Sep 2016, 02:59 am »
My Dad was beaten to death by my Mom.

Not like with a hammer, she just died first.

Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1752 on: 16 Sep 2016, 03:47 pm »
That's morbid. But funny.  :lol:

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1753 on: 18 Sep 2016, 09:00 pm »



jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1754 on: 20 Sep 2016, 10:08 pm »
The little boy had been looking out of the window.  He turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The mother couldn't think of an answer.  She told her son to ask the flight attendant.

The boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

The busy flight attendant smiled and asked the boy, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?" The boy replied, "Yes, she did."

"Well", said the flight attendant, "you tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.  Have your mother explain that to you."
 







JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1755 on: 23 Sep 2016, 01:39 am »
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States.

 He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

 The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."

 The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you Mr. American for having such a beautiful country here in America ."

 The person says, "I not American, I'm Vietnamese."

 The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for a wonderful America!

 That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from the Middle East . I am not an American."

 He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"

 She says, "No, I am from Africa ."

 Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

 The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1756 on: 23 Sep 2016, 02:42 am »
Almost too true to be funny, Jerry.  :icon_twisted:

JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1757 on: 23 Sep 2016, 02:52 am »
Almost too true to be funny, Jerry.  :icon_twisted:

It's almost too funny to be true.  :lol:

Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1758 on: 24 Sep 2016, 11:55 pm »

Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #1759 on: 25 Sep 2016, 05:42 pm »
Arrested Drunk Guy Sings Queens "Bohemian Rhapsody"  :lol:
https://youtu.be/fqymcJRSbxI