I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.

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woodsyi

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http://www.marinbikes.com/2009_html/us/spec_pageLocal.php?serialnum=916

We went for a family bike ride the other day and my wife commented on how heavy her bike was compared to mine or our daughter's (which made it tough biking for her).  Her bike is a Costco job from more than 10 years ago and it's heavy.  I bet hers weighs over 35 lb when both mine and my daughter's are under 25 lb.  Anyway, I bought the above Marin leisure bike when REI Outlet was offering a 20% off coupon.  With the outlet price (year end closeout) and coupon, I got it for less than half the list price.  It's now in the local store for me to pick up.

Big question:  Would it be alright for me to package this as an anniversary gift?  Or should I get something else for anniversary?  You know how you are not supposed to comment on your wife's weight (even if she asks) or give her exercise equipment.  Would this fall in that category?

werd

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #1 on: 26 Aug 2010, 07:19 pm »
Get her the bike and some roses and you will be all set.....  :thumb:

chlorofille

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #2 on: 26 Aug 2010, 07:23 pm »
The bike as a standalone gift would impress her I guess.
While other men are obsessing over what perfume or diamond rings to buy, this gift of a bike will take her by surprise !  :thumb:

TheChairGuy

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #3 on: 26 Aug 2010, 07:24 pm »
woodsyi/Rim....you really know how to woo a woman :icon_lol:

Get her a toaster instead - far more utilitarian :wink:

John

eclein

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #4 on: 26 Aug 2010, 07:25 pm »
Get her the bike and some roses and you will be all set.....  :thumb:
+1-flowers always seem to be a good idea!!!

CSI

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #5 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:06 pm »


http://www.marinbikes.com/2009_html/us/spec_pageLocal.php?serialnum=916

We went for a family bike ride the other day and my wife commented on how heavy her bike was compared to mine or our daughter's (which made it tough biking for her).  Her bike is a Costco job from more than 10 years ago and it's heavy.  I bet hers weighs over 35 lb when both mine and my daughter's are under 25 lb.  Anyway, I bought the above Marin leisure bike when REI Outlet was offering a 20% off coupon.  With the outlet price (year end closeout) and coupon, I got it for less than half the list price.  It's now in the local store for me to pick up.

Big question:  Would it be alright for me to package this as an anniversary gift?  Or should I get something else for anniversary?  You know how you are not supposed to comment on your wife's weight (even if she asks) or give her exercise equipment.  Would this fall in that category?

I've learned it is usually a mistake to give my wife a birthday or anniversary present that is either "practical" or, worse, something I might have bought for myself if I could justify it (they aren't stupid - they usually smoke out hidden motives pretty quickly - even if you haven't faced up to it yourself). I'd just give her the bike and tell her it's so she can enjoy your family bike outings more. Give her flowers and take her out to dinner on your anniversary.

ctviggen

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #6 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:08 pm »
I've learned it is usually a mistake to give my wife a birthday or anniversary present that is either "practical" or, worse, something I might have bought for myself if I could justify it (they aren't stupid - they usually smoke out hidden motives pretty quickly - even if you haven't faced up to it yourself). I'd just give her the bike and tell her it's so she can enjoy your family bike outings more. Give her flowers and take her out to dinner on your anniversary.

My wife is in your camp.  Practical gifts are a no-no.

turkey

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #7 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:13 pm »
This is something that will increase her bike-riding enjoyment. I bet she'll be thrilled that you got it for her.

I think it would make a good anniversary present.

turkey

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #8 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:17 pm »
My wife is in your camp.  Practical gifts are a no-no.

My wife likes both.

Tyson

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #9 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:23 pm »
If it allows her to more enjoyably spend time with her family, I imagine it would be a great gift.  As long as it's not one of the "Big" anniversaries, 10yr, 20yr, 25yr, etc...

zybar

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #10 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:29 pm »
My wife is in your camp.  Practical gifts are a no-no.

And thankfully mine is not.

Yet another reason why I am a lucky man.   :bowdown:

Personally, I think it is a great gift.  It shows how you want her to participate in family activities and that you care about her comfort and enjoyment in the family activity.  To me, that doesn't fall into the practical gift area like a vacuum or washing machine would.

At the end of the day, you know your wife best Rim, do what you think will make her happy. 

George
 

arthurs

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #11 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:29 pm »
I think it depends on what else you package around it.  Dinner out just the two of you, surprise her for lunch as well....maybe a spa certificate for a day out for her....and my personal favorite that you can't do every year but is a big home run when you do....get her a unique card for every year you've been married and leave them placed throughout her daily routine so she finds cards all day.  Each one has to be different and each message from you in them has to be different.  I think the bike is fine if you overwhelm her with your thoughtfullness in several other areas.  I'm not a proponent of flowers as my wife told me long ago "nothing takes less effort than that"

P.S.  Be sure the bike is about you two and the chance to spend more time together riding as a family and her being able to enjoy it more....not as an exercise instrument!

Happy anniversary! :thumb:

ctviggen

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #12 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:32 pm »
That card idea is brilliant.

I think my wife is slowly changing her mind about gifts.  I mean, how many non-practical gifts can one buy in a marriage?  But I'm not sure I'd attempt a practical gift for an anniversary.  I'm still trying to convince her that the 10 year gift should be audio gear.  ;-)

arthurs

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #13 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:34 pm »
That card idea is brilliant.

I think my wife is slowly changing her mind about gifts.  I mean, how many non-practical gifts can one buy in a marriage?  But I'm not sure I'd attempt a practical gift for an anniversary.  I'm still trying to convince her that the 10 year gift should be audio gear.  ;-)

My wife has loved the card gig the couple times I've done it....picking a birthday to do it on is unique, and a lot of writing but she will be amazed by it...highly recommended.

Mama Virtue

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #14 on: 26 Aug 2010, 08:47 pm »
As a woman and a wife, if she has hinted she wants a lighter, better bike, then it should be fine as an anniversary gift. However, what's the anniversary mark? (5 yrs 10 yrs etc) If it's in the first 5 years it may be a little disappointing to her and the other guys are right, it definitely depends on how you package it. I would recommend taking the day off and asking her to meet you somewhere you can actually use the bikes to take a ride, that day. Make it a surprise, by having a friend haul her new, lighter bike to the site, so she has no idea what's coming. Take the leisurely break-in ride together and afterwards go home, shower, and let her get dolled up for an evening out. Or do it in reverse order, take her out the night before and tell her you have a surprise for her in the morning. Flowers never go wrong. Whatever you do, do not "sell it" as an exercise gift, that is the worst possible thing you can do. We women expect you to think we can constantly improve on ourselves, our weight, our hair, the things we do. We really just want to be appreciated for who we are, and if you make us feel like we look like a million bucks, that's a bonus! Whatever you do, you know her best, and I'm sure she'll appreciate the gift, she might just enjoy it that much more if you "package" it right!

PhilNYC

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #15 on: 26 Aug 2010, 09:36 pm »
As a woman and a wife, if she has hinted she wants a lighter, better bike, then it should be fine as an anniversary gift. However, what's the anniversary mark? (5 yrs 10 yrs etc) If it's in the first 5 years it may be a little disappointing to her and the other guys are right, it definitely depends on how you package it. I would recommend taking the day off and asking her to meet you somewhere you can actually use the bikes to take a ride, that day. Make it a surprise, by having a friend haul her new, lighter bike to the site, so she has no idea what's coming. Take the leisurely break-in ride together and afterwards go home, shower, and let her get dolled up for an evening out. Or do it in reverse order, take her out the night before and tell her you have a surprise for her in the morning. Flowers never go wrong. Whatever you do, do not "sell it" as an exercise gift, that is the worst possible thing you can do. We women expect you to think we can constantly improve on ourselves, our weight, our hair, the things we do. We really just want to be appreciated for who we are, and if you make us feel like we look like a million bucks, that's a bonus! Whatever you do, you know her best, and I'm sure she'll appreciate the gift, she might just enjoy it that much more if you "package" it right!

Definitely listen to the woman/wife here.  But I would also add that if you presented it to her saying "You mentioned that you felt your Costco bike was heavy", I would guess that she would be impressed that you actually listened to her... 8)

Mama Virtue

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #16 on: 26 Aug 2010, 10:11 pm »
yup, that can always go in the card, or when the gift is presented! We are usually dumbfounded when we realize you actually heard us....sometimes we realize maybe we should have kept the comment to ourselves LOL

TheChairGuy

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #17 on: 27 Aug 2010, 12:08 am »
Rim, don't forget the chain grease and tire pump...that completes a trifecta of gifts she'll love :o

Or, listen to Mama Virtue - I think you'd be wise NEVER to take advice for your wife from a group of mostly heterosexual men :wink:

We give no gifts to one another anymore...for B'days or Christmas....gave that up 15 years ago.  So much stress thinking about it and you end up not getting it right as much as you do.  It all comes from the same financial piss-pot now...so we get what we need as we go along.

Fortunately, we're not for want of anything material, nor do we need baubles or care for the attention it might attract.  If we need something - we buy it - if it's a good deal and we can justify somehow in our lives :)

John 

zybar

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Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #18 on: 27 Aug 2010, 12:35 am »

We give no gifts to one another anymore...for B'days or Christmas....gave that up 15 years ago.  So much stress thinking about it and you end up not getting it right as much as you do.  It all comes from the same financial piss-pot now...so we get what we need as we go along.

Fortunately, we're not for want of anything material, nor do we need baubles or care for the attention it might attract.  If we need something - we buy it - if it's a good deal and we can justify somehow in our lives :)

John

John,

This is exactly how my wife and I do it.

Although I did do a few special things for my wife's last b-day since she was turning 40.   :wink:

George

rockadanny

Re: I have a question: marital bliss could be disrupted.
« Reply #19 on: 27 Aug 2010, 12:41 am »
If y'all ride at least semi-regularly, or know you would had she a better bike (because she has said so), then by all means, give it as a gift! After all, she is a woman -> it is NOT the gift, but the fact that you listened to her speak about it, remembered, and acted upon. THAT is what they want - for you to really listen and pay attention to them. The actual thing you get is secondary. Besides, bikes can be an integral part of romance and you can couch it that way - remember Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? ... Raindrops keep falling ...  :wink: