[Robert C. Schult]

I saw this post a while back and wanted to post but time hasn't allowed. Finally, to hell with it, this topic came up on another forum and I just had to take some time and help. As follows:

Ridge Street Audio Designs has always been about innovation and, of course, we have just the ticket for this dilemma. The product I will describe here is born out of my own experience with the problem you describe. See, my wife is very big boned, is 6'8" and has a testosterone imbalance...common with women born in the cold regions Buglislevchnia. If this isn't scary enough, she's very hairy but she makes a very hearty bread and soup meal. Very intimidating but the aroma of her cooking brings a certain level of comfort that balances the horror of her imposition. Satfrat almost dated my three time medal winner of wrestling Mother-In-Law.

Me, on the other hand, I come from a circus family. I'm 4'3 with nubs for arms and virtually no neck to speak of. I learned at the beginning of our marriage that when my wife spoke, I do well to listen or suffer being thrown. I wouldn't say she's controlling but I do require her permission for about everything I do.

I've had to go to excessive lengths to hide my obsessive purchases of audio gear through the years. To my credit, she still thinks I'm using a Dual 1225, Harmon Kardon 330B and Advent system I assembled when we married in the mid '70s. Wire? It looks like I'm still using 20 gauge zip but I'm really not.

Sorry, had to rest for a bit. My arms get tired quickly from trying to type.

We offer a unique solution to this problem that, truth be told, many, many enthusiasts suffer. You out there Kirk? A poll I did some months back reveals that 87% of this site's posters alone are in the closet about this. It's almost shameful.

Our solution addresses any equipment purchase(s) imaginable and it's basically a one time investment. It's called the RSAD Home AC Generation Station. The (false) premise is that this unit connects directly to your utility company to filter out AC line irregularities and noise generated by nearby industry, neighborhood residences and so forth. We even send one of our guys out posing as one of your utility company's service men to run a dummy service line into your house and install the unit!

It's a 8'W x 6'D x 4H' 8 gauge stainless steel box with rack handles that incorporates 64 IEC AC outlets, 460 RCA Jacks (228 labeled "IN", 228 labeled "Out", 2 labeled "Main Out" and 2 labeled "Main In"). XLR and/or Tape Loops optional. Inside is...Nothing! Get it!? Hide all your new gear inside the box. All your new cables can be installed on the outside of the box to make it look like they are part of the box to make it work. You don't even have to hide the cables. Our "Utility Serviceman" will install 64 (Dummy) AC outlets on your wall to work with the AC connectors on the RSAD Generation Station. The aesthetic of the box is designed to be more imposing than my wife. It has a Flash Gordon '50s retro look with an assortment of functional LED lights with 120 toggle switches to affect the "operation Indicator” lighting sequences. Unit comes with a service manual that absolutely make no sense so your wife can't figure out how to use the toggle switches and therefore, doesn't dare touch them. It also comes with a "Safety Permit" made to look like it's authorized by your utility company, a 10 year warranty certificate suitable for framing that also states "Free Factory Up-gades" for 10 years as electrical codes change in your area. You'll get a 500 sheet pack of "Factory Up-grade" sheets that you can mail to yourself in conjunction with new gear purchases to "prove" to your wife that "...This thing was free!". Finally, you'll even get a Flash Gordon action figurine that can be programmed to say "System on and beyond!" with the voice recording by Tim Allen every half hour. Price for this rig is $13,750.00 delivered and set up.

Now, for the even better news! We just introduced an upgraded, newer version so you can upgrade later! It's basically all of the above but is 22'W x 13'D x 8'H, Golden Ratio dimensioned. No need to "hide" your newer gear in here...it's a self contained, acoustically treated Listening Room! Dig!!! The entrance is on top so it's hid unless your wife's taller than mine...unlikely. It also incorporates a quiet but audible 60hz hum that is only audible on the outside of the box, not the inside. This causes your wife to think something's working and to stay away. It's only activated when you're inside the box playing your favorite music. As an added benefit, you now can have two functioning systems! One on the outside and one on the inside! The one on the outside can be the lesser of the two systems. You can even tell your wife that you've scaled the system back because you love her so much and have finally come to understand the wisdom of her thinking!

As an option with additional cost, this upgraded unit can even be installed underground. I hear you asking "What about the Mrs.? She won't allow that!" Yes she will. Again, our crew will come out posing as your city's Planning and Inspection Department with backhoe and crane equipment and install the new "septic system" your property needs to be up to code or face stiff fines and possibly even a lien on your property. The beauty of this is you don't even have to figure out how to hide the cost of the RSAD AC Generation Station...you just bought a new septic system and increased the value of your home!  As for escaping to listen to music, we include a booklet full of inventive excuses to leave the house. BTW, this booklet comes with the standard upgrade too. Forgot to mention that. One of our favorites is the Fred Flintstone Fib: "Honey, I'm going to (Your Favorite Stereo Shop or Hardware Store). I'll be back after they close". Just think how proud your wife will be of you when you come home with...nothing! Go ahead, even have her search the car! And how pleased she'll be that you didn't head straight to the stereo system when you got home and better still, how little time you're spending with the system at all!

Standard Price is $55,995.00 west of the Rockies and only $49,795.00 east plus...you get a free CD!

Hope this helps.

[zybar]

Sweet, I'll take two!!

Do you take out of state checks?



George

[lonewolfny42]

Wow , Robert !! You always come up with the best ideas....and to think, you and Robin/satfrat could of been related !!!!

[satfrat]

[quote="Robert C. Schult]...Satfrat almost dated my Mother-In-Law...[/quote]                                                                                     What can I say? I'm sick, I need help! Actually to, after being face-to-face with Robert for ten minutes, his Mother-In-Law looked petty good,,,, in a sickish sorta way. I need help baaaaaad. Regards, Robin

[Pirate]

Hmmm.......What's on the CD?

[davejcb]

You guys suck.

My girlfriend can now give you the definition of sound, why and how bass traps work, what a DAC is, etc etc etc.

I just bought two Decware tube amps, she couldn't wait to see and hear them, and now she can't wait to hear my new 1600$ Reference 3A Royal Masters that are coming.

She thinks I'm a "snob" for having tube amps though.

[TheChairGuy]

You guys suck.

My girlfriend can now give you the definition of sound, why and how bass traps work, what a DAC is, etc etc etc.

I just bought two Decware tube amps, she couldn't wait to see and hear them, and now she can't wait to hear my new 1600$ Reference 3A Royal Masters that are coming.

She thinks I'm a "snob" for having tube amps though.

Crucial term here: 'My girlfriend'

You, too, will suck if that young lady becomes your wife - rest assure.

[WerTicus]

geez and i have been looking for beautful and sexy for qualities in a wife... now i have to look for 'audiophile' too?  hrmmmm i still havnt found anything other than fat and pretty...

[Rocket]

Hi Guys,

The Chairguy has made a very valid point, a girlfriend is never going to criticise your hifi equipment purchases.

I recently bought a modwright beta preamp about 1 month ago and my Wife just looked at me, shook her head and said : 'what crap have you bought now  ' .

Anyway best of luck.

regards

Rocket

[Rocket]

Hi,

I just had to resurrect this older thread  .  Perhaps it will be provide some excuses our newer audiophiles can use at home.

Regards

Rocket

[JLM]

I haven't re-read this whole thread, but one way I've encountered minimized resistance is to replace bigger with smaller.  Another way is to replace for the same price.  I was able to accomplish both of these "feats" by selling my stuff here (big thanks to all who make this a great place) and going with a Squeezebox and chip amp.

[murphy11]

Here is the line that I have used more then once. Bring it out when your in trouble for that new piece of Equipment.

 " Honey, What else do I do. I go to work come home , try to do all the things on the honey do list and when its time to relax I just want to listen to music. I don't spend on fancy cars or clothes. Heck I don't even go out with my buddies anymore, You have domesticated me and I love spending time with you but its my only real hobby. I'm not blowing our money in bars or frivilous stuff. Heck all the stuff I buy I can probably sell what I bought it for. What other investment do we have that does that. You want me home and here I am ,at least let me enjoy what little time I really have doing something I love ". Then the big move. Give her a big hug and kiss and tell her thanks for understanding you and letting you pursue the things you love.

This all needs to be said in your soft vulnerable voice.

Yeah,thats the ticket.

Warning: Not to be used for any little purchases, big ticket items only or when confronted with neurotic behaviour from loved one

 ...

Brilliant

[gold]

Have the new and used gear sent to your work.  Bring it into the house when the time is right...  Speakers are difficult.  I always get beat up replacing or adding new speakers especially the big ones.

[Nick B]

Great topic...I read the whole thread and my favorite is Bill O'Connell's. After a very long hiatus from buying new gear, I decided to take the plunge and redo some things. Bought new cables from Gregg Straley and installed them when she wasn't home. Problem was, the USPS guy delivered them when she was home. I just said I bought some cables and she didn't pursue it. I put them in the closet and installed them when she was out. I then broached the topic of how neat it would be to have all the CD's and record albums on my harddrive. Said I was saving up money for that and would finance it by selling old cables etc. She said there was no reason for me to do that since I brought home the money (via passive investments). That surprised me a bit and now I'm going ahead slowly but surely learning how to do the wav/flac thing, installing the SB2 software etc. I want to get a new amp and I'll be saying how much cheaper the new equipment is vs what I spent on the old stuff (that part is true). Overall, I'm quite lucky to have an understanding wife and won't take advantage of that...too much. After the amp, I'd sure like either the Salk's or the speakers that Marbles mentioned that I believe are made by Ridge Street Audio. That'll have to wait for the next house.....

[kfr01]

I've been financing my upgrades by selling lots of old books, computer parts, cds/dvds, etc.  She loves the fact that I'm cleaning "junk" out of the house.

Also, I find myself buying more and more cds that she wants.  The more she enjoys the system, the more she seems to be "ok" with the revolving door of preamps and amplifiers lately.

[carusoracer]

Great thread
I have been able to do the cable swap pretty cleanly now as well as any power conditioning. I find that Friday nights are the best. Just get home before the spouse and throw away or store any new boxes. Then make dinner and simply start playing music so it's a nice atmosphere when she gets home. " That really sounds nice" is the best thing you can hear. "Oh, I just bought a new reference CD". Works everytime.  For big purchases must forewarn and emphasized "Demo". That way you can keep the new equipment flow coming and going for the bigger units.  Also leave out on the Coffee Table or Kitchen counter the factory brochure or open the page to Absolute Sound of the next gear you want to purchase. That way you get a free thumbs up or down if they like the way the equipment looks

I hope this helps all. Make sure you get larger purchases if possible delivered to work that way you can bring them in descretely... 3 CDP's, 2 PreAmps, 2 pr speakers, 3 Amps later

 

[woodsyi]

I am kind of getting a bit like LoanwolfNY -- I got a few stuff out on loan, repairs and upgrade; and I got a bunch that I am either harboring, breaking in or evaluating for others.  She doesn't know what is mine and what is not.    

[JoshK]

I went DIY, so now when big boxes arrive, I say "its just parts".

[chadh]

I'm horrified, HORRIFIED that people should resort to lying to spouses/significant others in order to fulfill audio equipment lust.  I would never do such a thing.  Well, I guess I might if I ever thought there was a hope in hell of getting away with it.  But one way or another, the purchase price disappears from one or other account, and sooner or later one must answer for it.

So, I find that honesty is the best policy.  What you need to take advantage of, though, is the difference between MSRP and the eventual retail prices, even better if you can get B-stock or used items.   The process is like this:
1. Spend a great deal of time looking anguished while perusing audio sites on the computer.  Always insist that there's nothing wrong when she enquires.
2. Confess to the desire to buy a particular new item.  Tell her the MSRP on the new, A-stock item with disgust.  Then immediately reassure her that you know that there are better/more important ways to spend the money.
3.  Make a series of wistful comments about how nice it would be if the great burden of budgetary constraints were lifted.  Admit again to the desire for a purchase.  Make sure she knows what the new MSRP is.
4. Find some way of insisting that she buy herself something nice.
5. Wait a few days, and repeat step three.
6. If all goes according to plan, somewhere in here she will insist that you go and buy the item:  if you don't she'll die from guilt or from the sheer frustration of listening to you.  Importantly, you should refuse to buy the item.  It's just too expensive.  Remind her of the new MSRP.
7.  Announce that you've found a wonderful deal!  Retailer is going out of business, or opportunity for purchase of used equpiment, pre-Christmas sale...maybe it's b-stock...maybe you've decided to compromise and try a lesser model...whatever.  Just make sure that she realises that the actual price you are paying is significantly below the extortionate MSRP that you quoted consistently through the whole purchase, and never let her know that most gear is sold new well below the MSRP.

The whole idea is to condition your wife so that she resigns herself to a purchase at the high price.  Not only do you get the thing that you want, but you avoid the perils of trying to hoodwink your loved one and you also come off looking like a true martyr who has only indulged his great desire because he was able to get it at a spectacularly reduced price.

Chad

[woodsyi]

I'm horrified, HORRIFIED that people should resort to lying to spouses/significant others in order to fulfill audio equipment lust.  

Who said anything about lying.  She doesn't ask anymore since there are stuff going in and out all the time.  Plus, we decided to keep our separate checking accounts and credit cards when we got married.  Oh, we put each other on the account but we don't check on each other.  Each of us has different financial responsibility (we work it out every year when we budget the year out) and what we do with the leftover is nobody else's business. This way we can surprise each other with gifts..........