How do you get your wife to understand this hobby?

schw06 · « **on:** 31 Dec 2009, 02:38 pm »

After 7 years, I am still getting push back from my better half regarding new audio purchases. Has anyone successfully converted their spouse to appreciate the hobby? if so, please enlighten me!

thunderbrick · « **Reply #1 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 02:54 pm »

Big Red Machine · « **Reply #2 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 03:09 pm »

Eventually she will realize it is part of your life and maybe then tolerate it versus support it.

We found by having gatherings of HT nuts and 2 channel nuts at the house the social gathering aspect made it enjoyable as we always invited spouses. So they would congregate in little areas of the kitchen or dining room and once they got to know each other they looked forward to the gatherings. Then the enticement of creating a unique and attractive menu of goodies from the entertaining perspective made it fun for her.

Once she found out that others were as crazy and as passionate as you, then YOU didn't seem so weird after all!

nature boy · « **Reply #3 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 03:11 pm »

I get new toys and she gets new jewelry. Way it works in my household.

NB

Rocket · « **Reply #4 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 03:15 pm »

Hi,

Time to resurrect my favourite thread!

http://www.audiocircle.com/index.php?topic=7888.0

Regards

Rod

zybar · « **Reply #5 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 03:17 pm »

Quote from: schw06 on 31 Dec 2009, 02:38 pm

After 7 years, I am still getting push back from my better half regarding new audio purchases. Has anyone successfully converted their spouse to appreciate the hobby? if so, please enlighten me!

I married the right woman and there was no need to "convert" her.

George

vinyl_guy · « **Reply #6 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 04:09 pm »

Hey guys,

Find yourself a female audiophile to talk to her woman to woman. aa There are a few of us out here. Over the years, I have introduced several of my married friends to what home audio should sound like and before you know it, they are talking to their husbands about buying a better audio system.

At least once a month we have a girls night out where we do a pot luck at my house and spend the evening listening to vinyl or watching a concert DVD and most of the conversation centers around the music.

good luck,

Laura

srb · « **Reply #7 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 04:20 pm »

I wonder if there's any reversed roles out there? A female audiophile whose husband just doesn't get it. The new preamp she just bought doesn't sound any different to him.

Steve

bpape · « **Reply #8 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 05:02 pm »

If she enjoys music, that's half the battle.

She knew what she was getting in to when she married me. It's my hobby. I don't golf, I don't have a boat, etc. It also helps that she loves music and has a pretty good ear. I always took her with me to look and listen to new equipment once I had it narrowed down so she was part of the decision.

Bryan

thebearded1 · « **Reply #9 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 05:15 pm »

i have found that if you play her favorite music on your system and even buy audiophile recordings/vinyl versions of her tunes, she can appreciate it more....if that doesn't work, jewelry will...

arthurs · « **Reply #10 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 05:24 pm »

Quote from: zybar on 31 Dec 2009, 03:17 pm

I married the right woman and there was no need to "convert" her.

George

Same here. My wife actually has built 2 different sets of tube traps for my room, had a major hand in our current remodel of the room, and has been the gracious hostess for more than a few GTG's here over the years, from a few people to over 50 at our last one. She once painted my listening room while I was at the SuperBowl! She is indeed the most unique of audio wives, not only for those reasons, but she's also legally deaf and cannot listen to music in any meaningful way, THAT makes her support and participation in my hobby mean that much more to me...I may never understand what I've done to deserve her....

Wayner · « **Reply #11 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 05:43 pm »

Quote from: bpape on 31 Dec 2009, 05:02 pm

If she enjoys music, that's half the battle.

She knew what she was getting in to when she married me. It's my hobby. I don't golf, I don't have a boat, etc. It also helps that she loves music and has a pretty good ear. I always took her with me to look and listen to new equipment once I had it narrowed down so she was part of the decision.

Bryan

Quote from: thebearded1 on 31 Dec 2009, 05:15 pm

i have found that if you play her favorite music on your system and even buy audiophile recordings/vinyl versions of her tunes, she can appreciate it more....if that doesn't work, jewelry will...

Bryan and thebearded1 have hit the nail on the head, at least at our house. We have "beer 30", just before dinner and spend about 1 and 1/2 hours listening to spinning vinyl. I play some of mine, I play some of the LPs she likes.

I also take her to AVA meetings, just to get a picture of what is going on. The real answer is get them involved and share the music. Let her sit in the sweet spot once in a while.

Wayner

Mike Nomad · « **Reply #12 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 07:01 pm »

It's sort of weird watching my other half reconcile The Audio Thing. On the one hand, when I bring home a new piece of gear, she gets twitchy because I replaced something that wasn't "broken."

After I get things set up and start spitting bits, making it a point of playing some of her stuff as part of the tuning process, she invariably comes into the room and sits down to listen. After a while, she'll say, "I don't know what you did, but this sounds a lot better."

And thus, the Win/Win wins again.

rollo · « **Reply #13 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 07:15 pm »

Quote from: arthurs on 31 Dec 2009, 05:24 pm

Quote from: zybar on 31 Dec 2009, 03:17 pm
I married the right woman and there was no need to "convert" her.

George

Same here. My wife actually has built 2 different sets of tube traps for my room, had a major hand in our current remodel of the room, and has been the gracious hostess for more than a few GTG's here over the years, from a few people to over 50 at our last one. She once painted my listening room while I was at the SuperBowl! She is indeed the most unique of audio wives, not only for those reasons, but she's also legally deaf and cannot listen to music in any meaningful way, THAT makes her support and participation in my hobby mean that much more to me...I may never understand what I've done to deserve her....

True love. That is what it is. Lucky you .Now to the other guys here man up you whimps. There has to be some real men here ya'll can't be nerds or geeks.

That being said I'll be back I have to vacum.

charles

Vinnie R. · « **Reply #14 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 07:46 pm »

Quote from: schw06 on 31 Dec 2009, 02:38 pm

After 7 years, I am still getting push back from my better half regarding new audio purchases. Has anyone successfully converted their spouse to appreciate the hobby? if so, please enlighten me!

Quit your full-time job, start your own audio business, and justify any speaker, turntable, room treatment, music, etc. purchases as "necessary business expenses" that are required for R&D (and there is a lot of truth to this!).

Just be prepared to work harder than you ever have before, but as long as it is a passion (labor of love), it is all good, and to the spouse, it is all justified if you are paying the bills, putting food on the table, etc.

Before those days, I was in your shoes getting lots of "push back" regarding audio purchases (half the gear I would start modding within days and she didn't get that part, either

).

The other suggestions above are probably better, but I just wanted to share my experience

Happy New Year!

Vinnie

jtwrace · « **Reply #15 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 08:18 pm »

Quote from: zybar on 31 Dec 2009, 03:17 pm

I married the right woman and there was no need to "convert" her.
George

Very true. Couldn't agree more..

AB · « **Reply #16 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 08:43 pm »

Well, she can't be all that bad - she let you buy all the great stuff in your sig. Right?

turkey · « **Reply #17 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 08:48 pm »

My wife didn't get it for a long time. She wasn't terribly interested in listening to our system and actually preferred an mp3 player because it was portable.

Then I got a new pair of speakers. I feel they're easily the biggest improvement to my system in decades. My wife heard the difference, and she now likes to listen to our system too. She told me to keep these speakers.

Nels Ferre · « **Reply #18 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 09:56 pm »

I found it fairly easy to get Leslie into it- I even find Leslie's terms for our gear amusing: tube amps are called "heaters"- solid state amps are called "when can we put the heaters back in?"

Its really pretty easy: I make sure to include her by playing music she likes. Plenty of Etta James, Depeche Mode, Devo, the B-52's...even Britney Spears.

(on the B.S. I like the other stuff.)

I also keep Tull to myself.

max190 · « **Reply #19 on:** 31 Dec 2009, 11:09 pm »

Gentlemen,
All you have to do is buy her tickets to a live concert of Joe Cocker. Then buy her his CD's and play them for her.
Works everytime...