Ha

Hey, I'd be the next-to-last-person to tell you that you'd have to get
any so-and-so to enjoy vinyl.....but, if you know you have static issues that alone is worth eradicating to see what's left to tackle in the sonic chain.
The only near-surefire way I am aware of is running your records thru a record cleaning machine with a wet solution vigorously applied beforehand. It really is pretty shocking how much improvement is wrought be using one.
Remember, you're asking a
painfully small stylus tip to ride in sinfully small grooves trying to extract sound. A clump of dirt, dust or bacteria, too small to ever see with the naked eye, can toss your cartridge out of the groove and not allowing for optimal tracking. While in the groove, the eeny-weeny stylus goes scraping along at the bottom and sides running into all obstacles.
Sure, static could be causing less-than-ideal sonics for you....but, built-up and original dirt / dust / bacteria are
definitely causing deterioration of the whole effect.
Once you have clean records - you are able to more accurately pinpoint other issues in your vinyl set-up (if you have any more than just that - filthy, static-clung records)
John