Tweak your rig over the phone! Exciting new Machina Dynamica news!

eric the red · « **on:** 22 Jun 2007, 04:15 pm »

The 'Teleportation Tweak'
"This extraordinary product is an advanced communications technique for upgrading audio systems over the phone discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica. The customer will call Machina Dynamica; during the phone call the Teleportation Tweak is performed by sending a series of "signals" over the phone line to the customer....no shipping required"
http://cls.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/cls.pl?accstwek&1187704885
AT LAST!!!

bwaslo · « **Reply #1 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 04:46 pm »

Until I went to their web page, I was sure this was parody.

www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm

I don't think anyone even could make up a parody about these kinds of things. How would anyone ever tell the difference?

some young guy · « **Reply #2 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 05:13 pm »

MaxCast · « **Reply #3 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 05:36 pm »

Hey, for 30 bucks call me and I'll send taps for one minute.
Half the price and twice as many taps.

My taps cover the hi-rez formats and will increase your computer's processor speed. Hell, it will even make your wife a bit more horny so you get laid more

Airborn · « **Reply #4 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 05:51 pm »

OMG and I thought the little clocks and pebbles were the most outrageous BS possible. It just goes to show that charlatans and hucksters like Machina Dynamica have absolutely no shame.

I really like the statement from the web page that says

Quote

While not absolutely necessary, the customer's audio system can be turned on and warmed up prior to the phone call for ease of A/B testing.

So your system doesn't even have to be TURNED ON for this tweak to work!

What next....wait, I know, you don't even need an audio or video system at all...our new telephone tweak costs only a few grand and goes straight into your brain so that you will hear your music and see your video without the need for expensive gear.... No more problems with system matching or synergy, ever...

What a bunch of idiots these guys must think audiophiles are

Please I really want to see someone defend this one.

Joules · « **Reply #5 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 06:07 pm »

WOW ...

Does this mean, if I get LONEWOLF on the fone and then place the fone next to my speakers, that they will sound better? Just like it does in all the photos of him standing next to speakers.

TheChairGuy · « **Reply #6 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 06:14 pm »

Fabulous...made my day

nathanm · « **Reply #7 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 06:19 pm »

Does anyone know anything about this Geoff Kait guy besides what's on the website? I really would love to know what the real story is. Is he a genuinely smart dude having a little joke at the expense of gullible morons (which I would support) or has he truly gone off the deep end and believes his own B.S.? Are the testimonials real or is the whole site made up? Maybe he knows someone with access to a bunch of surplus junk and he decided to re-market it? I just wish I knew the truth on this one, because I am insanely jealous of people who can make shit up and profit off it. Does he live with secret guilt? Does he go to bed laughing himself to sleep? Or is he one and the same with his loony toons customers? (or alleged customers?)

Tweaker · « **Reply #8 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 06:46 pm »

He's a con man pure and simple. If there was any doubt before this surely has to eliminate it. He's gone too far and really exposed himself with this one.

eric the red · « **Reply #9 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 06:55 pm »

Quote from: Joules on 22 Jun 2007, 06:07 pm

WOW ...

Does this mean, if I get LONEWOLF on the fone and then place the fone next to my speakers, that they will sound better? Just like it does in all the photos of him standing next to speakers.

You'd have to lean the phone against the speakers...

emac · « **Reply #10 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:01 pm »

Wow. At least with the Clever Little Clock, I could convince myself that there is at least the outside chance there is some science behind it. This, forget it.

Even though it isn't PT Barnum's quote, I'll use it. "There's a sucker born every minute".

mcullinan · « **Reply #11 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:03 pm »

hahahahahaha... funny...
this guys a comedian!
hahaha whats next ill shoot laser beams out of my butt...
or they will invent a talking machine without wires..
or something for this burning/itching sensation that just wont leave me.
Mike

Robert C. Schult · « **Reply #12 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:06 pm »

Small minds are usually afraid of what they don't understand and then go off to attack the man and the product. What a shame. Think Tesla or even Edison for the ridicule they took.

I have no idea if this phone thing works or not. I have tried and use his Codename Turquoise product and it's an awesome, even indispensable tweak. It took our RA GNS modified Opus 21 to a whole new level.

I've talked with Geoff a few times. Fun gent to talk with. He's hardly offended with all the fun poked at him. Those are not the folks he's trying to help.

After using the Codename stuff, I'm now a bit motivated to try the clock and pebbles. I don't know if they'll make a difference or not. It's sure beyond my grasp why they would work but...

If you don't understand something and all you can do is tear down, save the world by shutting up.

Sincerely,
Robert
RSAD

gooberdude · « **Reply #13 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:10 pm »

geoff kait will no doubt catch hell at audioasylum where he often repsonds to criticism. his responses are vague & defensive, but he does attempt to keep the mystique going...like any good salesman.

I just called MD and its just a sexy sounding lady breathin' real hard & asking for a credit card #. She claims she'll make my 'system' rock hard...

mcullinan · « **Reply #14 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:14 pm »

YES THIS IS THE WAY OF THE FUTURE... LIKE EDISON EXCEPT I EAT BRAINS AND LISTEN TO TAPS ON THE PHONE.... YUM YUM! BRAINS! I AM IGNORANT AND MY OFFSPRING LOOK EXACTLY LIKE ME AND MY SISTER EXCEPT OUR KIDS HAVE WEBBED FEET.. BELIEVE. BELIEVE.
M

eric the red · « **Reply #15 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:16 pm »

Quote from: Robert C. Schult on 22 Jun 2007, 07:06 pm

Small minds are usually afraid of what they don't understand and then go off to attack the man and the product. What a shame. Think Tesla or even Edison.

If you don't understand something and all you can do is tear down, save the world by shutting up.

Sincerely,
Robert
RSAD

No, what a shame that people like GK are hucking crap like this to a small bunch of gullible tweak-obsessed audio fools who buy into anything because someone says it works. After reading what most people do here for a living, I don't see a lot of small minds participating in these forums. GK is no Tesla or Edison, don't kid yourself.

tomjtx · « **Reply #16 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:25 pm »

Quote from: Robert C. Schult on 22 Jun 2007, 07:06 pm

Small minds are usually afraid of what they don't understand and then go off to attack the man and the product. What a shame. Think Tesla or even Edison.

Thanks for that post Mr. Schult. Now I know not to buy your product

Robert C. Schult · « **Reply #17 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 07:51 pm »

Tom....So I should stop waiting for your call!?

MaxCast · « **Reply #18 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 08:03 pm »

Quote from: nathanm on 22 Jun 2007, 06:19 pm

Does anyone know anything about this Geoff Kait guy besides what's on the website? I really would love to know what the real story is. Is he a genuinely smart dude having a little joke at the expense of gullible morons (which I would support) or has he truly gone off the deep end and believes his own B.S.? Are the testimonials real or is the whole site made up? Maybe he knows someone with access to a bunch of surplus junk and he decided to re-market it? I just wish I knew the truth on this one, because I am insanely jealous of people who can make shit up and profit off it. Does he live with secret guilt? Does he go to bed laughing himself to sleep? Or is he one and the same with his loony toons customers? (or alleged customers?)

That is what I have been thinking. Is he thinking of the most outrageous stuff and seeing how many people will actually buy it?? Is he recording all this and writting a book? Is he making a list of people to laugh at some day?

If a clock, rocks, and taps can make your system sound better life must not be as complicated as we think. Hell, we should be able to time travel with a feather and a piece of tape.

Tweaker · « **Reply #19 on:** 22 Jun 2007, 08:10 pm »

I wonder what the range is? Will it improve my neighbors stereo too? What about MP3 players, tabletop radios, etc? How about my car stereo? Also, somebody could have their friends bring their gear over and have a mass Teleportation Tweak done. A Teleportation Tweak Rave! If I owned a stereo shop I could have all of the gear in my store done. Should improve sales with everything sounding so much better.
I have a feeling this thread is destined to be Teleported to the Intergalactic Waste Bin.