I just can't understand why folks interested in audio are so binary. Everything is black and white. Very unlike the music they listen to (I hope). Weird. One would think music would open ones perspective, not diminish it. With very simple equipment one can travel the globe in a few minutes or, in a sense, travel back in time.
At any rate, music lover first, and for a long time. Audiophile second (and for a much shorter time). I have to say, however, that as my gear has improved my enjoyment of the music has grown too. I like to hear what the musicians are communicating, and, unlike musicians themselves who (often) seem not to need good gear, I can't seem to fill i the information myself.
Seems that the love of gear could lead to love of music, and see no inherent contradiction. But, I've met folks who really only do care about the gear, and I'm not sure what one would call them aa
As to getting advice at a high end shop, that would be great. Mostly, I've found shops with some great gear that sounds really bad because their setup was bad -- speakers VERY close together, speakers not broken in, mismatch of gear, etc. One dealer was a music lover and just presented the equipment in a relaxing environment. I think there are too few of these guys.