Two HUGE red flags for me would have been the mere presence of mostly Mark Levinson and Wadia gear in your demo session. A couple of the most over-priced, over-hyped brands in existence. I would have ran, not walked away from it. But, I know how it is.
I have a couple of showrooms like the one you mentioned near me, in the SF Bay Area. My friend and I experienced these kinds of places 20+ years ago. We'd go listen for fun, with CDs in hand, and listen to the Levinson equip hooked-up to Wilson Audio, or the latest 500 lb. B&W, Meridian, etc. All with the obligatory $15,000 garden hose speaker wire, and $5000 IC. Systems easily in excess of $100,000. Ah, but these places had other rooms for the, uhh, less financially fortunate, wherein lied the "step above" stuff from the likes of NAD, Adcom, Rotel, Denon, etc. They did this out of pure obligation, not really interested in selling truly good sound for the money.
These places really catered absolutely to the wealthy customer that was interested mostly in what the equip cost, with the sonic experience a distant second. The mark of a true audiophile.
Certainly, if an amplifier or CDP is really expensive, it must be better. Some of these brands are responsible for what happened 20-25 years ago, and that is, if you priced your gear high enough, it would sell itself. If you priced it even higher still, it would become all the rage in the audiophile world. They were very smart businesses, no doubt.
In the last 10 years or so, the field has gotten a lot bigger, the web certainly has a lot to do with it, DIY'ers, tweakers, small companies making really nice equip for far, far less, and letting word of mouth sell it, just the mass communication alone between people, like this forum, changed the whole game radically.
I also realized after listening in these same showrooms more recently, that a lot of those ultra-expensive systems didn't sound very good at all, in fact, they sounded downright lousy, and absolutely fatiguing. But, I see the same type of customers, nodding approvingly over their impending purchase of $30,000 worth of amplification. These poor fools don't listen to the systems, they analyze them, right along with the dealer who's taught them how, and well.
We've learned that you can put together systems for well under $5000 that are extremely satisfying. Nice tube integrated? No problem, it's actually affordable. Wonderful sounding CDP for under $900, easy.
And that's without being relegated to those NAD, Adcom, or Rotel listening rooms.
And that's got to be a good thing. Probably not for the audiophile though. But for the rest of us, no doubt.