For the room the priorities should be:
1.) Size, bigger is better (less room interaction)
2.) Shape, as mentioned avoid simple ratios (the ancient Greeks who built out of stone used 5:8 ratios that are considered pleasing to the eye)
3.) Isolation - both incoming noise so you can listen at lower levels and outgoing to maintain the domestic peace (electrical - yes a 12 gauge/20amp circuit, HVAC - flexible/insulated/lined ductwork, track mounted electrical/lighting - my mistake was using recessed cans in the ceiling, exterior door - solid core with weather seals, staggered/insulated stud walls - not that expensive, time/function - so you can listen to what/when you want)
As far as setup/gear, read Floyd E. Toole's "Sound Reproduction" and search Audio Circle for "swarm". Toole has ratio/swarm advice. Listening and entertaining is tough to mix in the same room. Good luck and keep us posted.