OB,
> He said he could insulate the ceiling <
I'm not much of an isolation expert but I can answer some of this.
If you put one foot of fluffy fiberglass between the joists and then cover it with sheetrock, you will cancel the bass trapping added by the fiberglass. But the fiberglass is still useful there because it improves the isolation.
If the contractor suggested that fiberglass alone will give you isolation - you said he used an "R" number - he is mistaken. Having fiberglass between the joists is better than not having it, but that alone won't give much isolation.
Understand that good isolation and good low frequency response are competing goals. What helps one hurts the other. You can have both, but it's expensive. If you really need isolation you should install a sheetrock ceiling, hung from resilient channels, and you'll also need a fair amount of bass trapping inside the room.
--Ethan