Personal update, with a heavy heart

Vapor Audio · « **on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:05 pm »

I keep my personal life close to the vest, always have. My wife is even frustrated at times that I keep things to myself, so it's with hesitation that I post this at all. However it relates to business in that for the past 2 weeks I've been too distracted to get any Vapor Audio work done. Also I haven't kept communication with customers like I've needed to during that time. To those of you who have needed to speak with me but haven't been able to get in touch, my apologies.

On Dec 22nd my cat went missing. Now I know, some of you are out there reading and thinking "seriously, he's that worked up over a cat?" Trust me, I used to be one of those guys. I've had more cats than I could count, growing up in the country we always had cats to keep the yard and barn clean. I loved them but never really became attached to any, and when they died it was no big deal. But my Churchill however, he and I have been attached at the hip for 9 years now. We rescued him as a stray and very quickly he became 'my' cat. He follows me like my shadow, we have our own language and communication ... he's more like a small hairy human than a cat. I've known for years that I was going to be a wreck if/when something happens to him. And that's exactly what happened 2 weeks ago.

I let him outside like I always do so he can roam the neighborhood, but this time he didn't come back. That occasionally happens, but next morning he still wasn't at the door, nor next evening. That's when I became worried, because it's been very cold here this year, and because that's unlike him. In trying to find him I did everything I could, to no avail. And now that we have 12" of snow and 2 nights in a row of -10 temps, I have to face the fact that he's most likely dead. Believe me, it's not easy ... just typing those words is hard. I never imagined I'd become this attached to an animal, and losing him took a piece of me with it. And the way it all happened, if before he left somebody asked me to lay out a worst case scenario, this would have been it. The gut-wrenching twists that happened along the way had me cursing God, then praising, then back to cursing again.

So I have to move on now, starting today I'm back to work on customers builds. I also know I can't just forget, this will eat at me for months. There will be times I just don't want to talk and won't answer my phone because of it ... please try and understand, and I'll do my best to move forward. This post is also in memoriam, and good therapy for me. Churchie, I love you buddy.

woodsyi · « **Reply #1 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:19 pm »

Sorry, Ryan.

Go to a shelter and get a kittie soon. It won't replace Churchill but it will warm your heart in its own new way.

We spent 2 weeks feeling sad before getting a new (in this case) dog. I still miss Sydney but Beau is a bundle of joy right now.

jimdgoulding · « **Reply #2 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:21 pm »

I, for one, understand, but no way I'm alone on this. Sorry, mate, and I second Woodsyi's rec.

Blackmore · « **Reply #3 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:23 pm »

Ryan, I'm really sorry to hear this. Churchill looked beautiful and you know I love my cats.

Please rescue another cat as soon as you can. They need you.

Bob in St. Louis · « **Reply #4 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:23 pm »

The family and I have been keeping our eyes open for Churchy,
Not even so much as tracks in the snow.

Sorry man. About all I can do is offer you a warm hug and a cold beer.

Bob

jriggy · « **Reply #5 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:24 pm »

What a beautiful guy. Im so sorry.

BPT · « **Reply #6 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:49 pm »

Ryan:
With this weather it is very possible someone within a couple blocks of your house took him inside thinking they were "saving him"-- especially if he had no collar or tag with contact information. He may just show up once the weather breaks and they let him out. One of our three cats was a roamer (Buster -- looked just like Churchill) didn't come back for a while so we were a little worried but knew he was a healthy, strong cat and could survive. Almost a year past and one day there he is, acting just like he'd been gone for a couple hours. Been home ever since. Turns out some people up the street thought he was a stray and took him in. They decided to move and left him. Guess they served better food than Purina Cat Chow. Hang in there. When are you available for some listening--got to hear your latest work.
Chris H.

rockadanny · « **Reply #7 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 06:58 pm »

Ryan,
Sorry to hear. Hang in there. I certainly understand your attachment ...

StereoNut · « **Reply #8 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 07:09 pm »

Hang in there, Ryan. Maybe he was picked up as a stray. Did you call any of the local shelters... maybe he was brought to one? I understand your feelings 110% My daughter's cat (my four-legged Grand-daughter!) is my best friend in the house. I wish you all the best.

SN

sturgus · « **Reply #9 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 07:15 pm »

Ryan, sorry to hear. Those of us that have a love for animals truly understand.

persisting1 · « **Reply #10 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 07:33 pm »

As an unapologetic cat guy, this post is pretty sad. As many have said, he's probably in a warm room right now. Stay strong.

Scott F. · « **Reply #11 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 07:47 pm »

Sorry to hear that Ryan. Even though I'm a dog guy, we really do get attached so I know where you're at.

gregfisk · « **Reply #12 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 08:13 pm »

Ryan,

We haven't spoken before but I want you to know how sorry I am, I do know how you feel as I have been in your place. Even thou you grew up with cats like I did, that special one is the hardest to let go.

Take Care,

Greg

Nick B · « **Reply #13 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 08:14 pm »

I sure do understand your feelings. Our Rhodesian Ridgeback died in '07 at age 17, but we are fortunate now to have 2 great cats that we rescued from the shelter
Nick

ss397 · « **Reply #14 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 08:25 pm »

We have 4 pets, and they mean the world to us. I was saddened to learn your cat is missing. You have my heartfelt wish that he will come back to you.

RDavidson · « **Reply #15 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 08:35 pm »

Having feelings and emotions are what make us human, and I honestly feel that it is preposterous to feel in any way embarrassed, sorry, or somehow less than for letting your human side show, regardless of weather you're a man or woman. Pets can be amazing companions and are sometimes better than our human friends. I hope Churchill comes back to you safely.

csmgolf · « **Reply #16 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 09:38 pm »

Ryan, so sorry to hear about this. I have always gotten my pets from the shelter and everyone has been incredibly loyal and an indispensable part of family life. It is hard to explain the joy they bring on a daily basis and the sorrow you feel when they are gone until it hits home. Still, I can not foresee a time in my life that I would be without a pet. Hang in there.

SoCalWJS · « **Reply #17 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 10:07 pm »

So sorry to hear this. I can definitely relate - I have several Cats and although I love them all, there is a special one that I raised from about 1 week old that I am especially attached to. I know it will be tough if I ever lose him.

I hope that you can find another to share that closeness with, although I'm sure it's hard to imagine. A new pet or perhaps spending more time with another might help.

Best wishes Ryan.

mcgsxr · « **Reply #18 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 10:23 pm »

Hard time for the whole family no doubt. My 19 year old Tuxedo died last summer, it was a rough couple of days for us all. He was a rescue too. He picked my wife at the shelter, and would sleep on the girls change table when they were young.

Our new cat Bear is indoor and outdoor but the last couple of nights I have worked hard to limit his time outside, which he hates. It has been very cold up here in Toronto too.

I hope your heart heals fast.

Wardsweb · « **Reply #19 on:** 7 Jan 2014, 10:31 pm »

I am so sorry for your loss. Some will get it and some will not. I feel for those who will not. They will miss one of the greatest joys in life. Pets are more than just animals. They are part of the family; a furry child, if you will. They love unconditionally and ask for nothing.