I have a Musical Fidelity A308 cr preamp inputting into a Musical Fidelity Tube Buffer, then inputting to a Stratos Dual Mono (180 Watts per channel). These drive a REL Serie R 328 sub via Nuetrik connector, and Klipsh Cornwalls with Bob Crites crossovers (approx. 99 db). My normal listening level is about 9 oclock on the volume control. This has never been an issue for me. When playing vinyl through the Moon phono preamp, the best level is at 9:30 to 10 oclock depending on the record sonics.
Your problem seems to be that if you turn it down lower you can't get enough dynamics to enjoy the music? However, I have to agree, with 89db speakers, your normal listening level should be between 9 and 10 oclock.