[thunderbrick]

Every time?  How many times have you been married, anyway?   

[werd]

The entire ic and mains market is driven by this spousal discourse. Its why i believe there is such a market for cables, since wives cant see or hear the new purchases  . Not like a pair of speakers where you have to sit down and ask for permission  .

[*Scotty*]

I think one of the keys lies in her interest in music. If music is not very important to her she won't care about how well it is reproduced and the costs associated with the hobby. My wifes understanding of my hobby is result oriented. She doesn't much care about the looks of the equipment or how large the speakers are. Their performance is what justifies their place in our home. In as much as she has no interest in the hobby except how the music sounds,she does not make rationalizations about the expected performance of a piece of equipment based on how it looks,how much it costs,or who manufactured it. She is very hard to impress and if I proceeded in this hobby with a hit or miss approach that resulted in steps backward or sideways she would probably loose patience with me and demand a separate system that sounded good and was not subject to change.
Scotty 

[launche]

Fourplay  "Between The Sheets".


Women are complicated but they understand simple solutions.  I would bet somehow she feels like she's losing.  Whatever your approach, make it a win-win situation. 

[Stu Pitt]

Everyone has something 'stupid' they spend money on.  It makes sense and is very gratifying to the individual, but no one else gets it.

Why does my wife need so many pairs of shoes?  Pocketbooks?  Manicures?  Pedicures?  Haircuts that cost 10x more than mine?  Because it makes her happy.

I don't need a new digital source any more than my wife needs a new Coach bag.  If the bills are all paid, what do we work for?

[BobM]

Support her hobbies, as long as that's not compulsive shopping, and she should support yours. My wife quilts, makes hook rugs and stained glass. each requires specialized equipment and raw materials/supplies. I truly enjoy what she produces and I take an interest in the design and execution parts of her hobby, as well as attending shows and such.

I've invited her to rave meetings, but she has yet to attend, although she does chat with fellow audiophiles when they come over to my place.

All in all, I support her hobbies and she supports mine, and neither one of us takes too much advantage of the other in terms of cost or time.

[beachbum]

Listening to a top quality home system should get her attention if she has a love of music. I m lucky enough to has a lady who likes listening to music as much as i do, but i made sure of that before we were married so that could be cheating.

[sts9fan]

She does not have to understand it.  She just can't bitch about it.  It also helps that she is almost as obsessed with music as I am. 

[JerryM]

Over many years, I have come to recognize that my fiancée likes mariachi music.

I spent quite some time finding very well recorded mariachi music. One day, to deep sighs and eye rolling, I had her sit in the sweet spot. I turned the volume up to where both of us knew it was on the "Baby, DOES IT REALLY NEED TO BE THIS LOUD??!!!" setting. I put on a set of maraiachi songs that sounded like they were in the room.    She totally got it at that moment.

That having been said, she still rolls her eyes at me for my petty audiophile triumphs. 

Have fun,
Jerry

[Quiet Earth]

My wife understands me, and that's all that really matters.

[mchuckp]

As much as I would LOVE for my wife to enjoy it as much as me and just sit and listen.   I've come to terms that it just isn't going to happen.  I've been through the "your toys are more important than I am" phase as I didn't have all this stuff before we were together.  I've ALWAYS been obsessed with music, just never was exposed to great gear and when I eventually was I couldn't afford any.  My wife has become MUCH better about it all as she has made a big effort in her life to understand people and accept who they are.  So this includes me.

We recently relocated to Oregon from Ohio and have been doing the apartment thing for awhile.  Every time I try and get her to "appreciate" good sound she tells me I should turn it down because of neighbors.  We are currently looking at houses and hope to buy soon.  A dedicated audio room will occur in this house.  As much as I'd love for her to come in and hang out with me, I think it will be basically a man cave.

Maybe someday she will develop an appreciation for it, but for now I'm at least happy that she understands me...Mostly.  It's not that she doesn't hear the difference, it's that she doesn't care if it sounds good. 

On a positive note, she will point out deficiencies from time to time at other people's houses. 

[TheChairGuy]

Great responses, fellas

We do a lot together, but music separately.  Neither of us sit for long....but, she's happy with a boombox as I am mostly dissatisfied with it.

It helps that I've been obsessed with music from years before meeting her as she realizes the seriousness of the illness

John

[rockadanny]

We both enjoy music: we met at a three day music festival; she loves to dance; we have some common music we enjoy together. Even so, she's never understood my desire for upgrading my system. Her perspective is: 1) "It ain't broke so why spend more $$$ on it?"; 2) "Last time you upgraded you claimed you were thrilled with the results. Why are you now dissatisfied?".

We've discussed these two points several times but she just does not get it. That's OK. I just show her how much $$$ we spend each year on "our" horses and she realizes my hobby is far cheaper than hers.

Sorry David, this does not help you. Perhaps you should get some horses? I know where you can get a few ... FREE!!