[joegator81]

Then write if off as a learning experience.  Don't get personal in business settings.  Don't date co-workers.  Don't go into business partnership with friends. 

Your "friend" is a good businessman with good business ethics.  You don't get 99.99 positive feed back on over 10,000 transactions on EBay unless you sell good products with good customer service.  He may be a "smooth" operator but I bet he is not a swindler.  I think you just read him wrong.

I thought he had good business ethics too. But, would you say that a person who lies (if he lied) is acting ethically, business or otherwise??? I just think there is an obvious disconnect. I don't know how anyone could say he has good business ethics if he lied. A good businessman, yes. An ethical one? NO. He does have a good online rating, but that simply means that he grades his records accurately, returns items that are defective, and ships quickly. that's pretty much the key to doing business on ebay, there is minimal interaction w/ customers and none of those transactions are similar to what happened here. besides, one bad review can really screw up your rating. Its not like I have the time nor the inclination to stand outside his store with a sign that says "POOR" on it and explain to everyone why. it really is apples and oranges.

[soundbitten1]

Why did you not want to sell it to your supposed friend in the first place but finally relented when he said that another person wanted it? Did you know if was going to flip it on eBay or enjoy it personally if you sold it to him directly? If he wanted it for personal use and he was your friend you would have sold it to him instead of it going to someone you didn't know. Didn't that raise a red flag when he suddenly said that someone else wanted it? It's altogether not clear.

[rajacat]

Then write if off as a learning experience.  Don't get personal in business settings.  Don't date co-workers.  Don't go into business partnership with friends. 

Your "friend" is a good businessman with good business ethics.  You don't get 99.99 positive feed back on over 10,000 transactions on EBay unless you sell good products with good customer service.  He may be a "smooth" operator but I bet he is not a swindler.  I think you just read him wrong.

So are you saying that good business ethics is lying? Dishonesty is the best policy? Is this your definition of "smooth operator"?

[woodsyi]

"read between the lines"???  Is that the same as lying to make a buck?  That's a hell of an unethical way to do business.   Chalk it up as a cheap lesson and move on... just never trust this guy again.

You know some one who is always late?  Some people always exaggerate?  Some people are drama queens and everything is life and death?  Some embellish to increase impact?  We automatically filter information depending on the source.  We can't really tell the whole story here because we got no information on the past interactions or the body language spoken.  I am only guessing but I just don't think the dude was lying outright to Joe -- he was just spinning a yarn to get Joe to sell.  You can't read a fantasy novel and take every event in the book as factual.  You the reader has to understand that it is a fantasy novel.

[joegator81]

You know some one who is always late?  Some people always exaggerate?  Some people are drama queens and everything is life and death?  Some embellish to increase impact?  We automatically filter information depending on the source.  We can't really tell the whole story here because we got no information on the past interactions or the body language spoken.  I am only guessing but I just don't think the dude was lying outright to Joe -- he was just spinning a yarn to get Joe to sell.  You can't read a fantasy novel and take every event in the book as factual.  You the reader has to understand that it is a fantasy novel.

He said my friend really wants this record. She is coming to get it today. I already told her you are bringing it in... not sure how I could misinterpret that?

[dminches]

That seems pretty clear to me.

[joegator81]

Why did you not want to sell it to your supposed friend in the first place but finally relented when he said that another person wanted it? Did you know if was going to flip it on eBay or enjoy it personally if you sold it to him directly? If he wanted it for personal use and he was your friend you would have sold it to him instead of it going to someone you didn't know. Didn't that raise a red flag when he suddenly said that someone else wanted it? It's altogether not clear.

From what I can recall, he never said that he wanted it for himself to sell. It was always in context of getting it for his friend. If I knew he was going to flip it on ebay I would have insisted on the $140 cash. If he was going to enjoy it personally I would have probably taken the same deal $100 plus the credit, since it would have been a record that he really wanted for himself but he has never said that he wanted the record for himself or to flip.

[woodsyi]

He said my friend really wants this record. She is coming to get it today. I already told her you are bringing it in... not sure how I could misinterpret that?

"He would like to buy your record for a  friend customer who will pay dearly" is how I might interpret it if I can read some body language.

[gnuyork]

Then write if off as a learning experience.  Don't get personal in business settings.  Don't date co-workers.  Don't go into business partnership with friends. 

Your "friend" is a good businessman with good business ethics.  You don't get 99.99 positive feed back on over 10,000 transactions on EBay unless you sell good products with good customer service.  He may be a "smooth" operator but I bet he is not a swindler.  I think you just read him wrong.

What?? I don't see that at all. Just because the guy has good feedback does not make him an ethical person at all. The conclusions, assumptions, and advice given on this thread baffles me.

[macrojack]

Another thought has come to mind.

You say that you thought of the dealer as a friend. Maybe he just thinks of you as a customer. Maybe every word he said to you was sincere and factual. You have stated repeatedly that you do not know otherwise. You stated that you WILL NOT smear his name on this forum although you dropped enough hints that those who bothered to look found him easily. All in all, I fail to see what your problem is here. Even if the guy lied, so what. Used records, used cars - all about the same. Certainly everyone sharing insights on this topic has been burned worse.

Dust yourself off, get back on your horse, and quit tattling to Mommy.

The premise seems to be that you were noble to relax your grip on the record in question and that you did so out of kindness in the face of someone else's desperate plight. Now you suspect that taffy has been distributed and that your noble gesture was all for naught and that bad man fibbed to you and all the guys on AC agree that you were wronged.

If indeed you live in Florida now, you should look outside your bubble at the rising tides. This lovers' spat is the least of your problems, as you will soon see.

[gnuyork]

"He would like to buy your record for a  friend customer who will pay dearly" is how I might interpret it if I can read some body language.

But that's just not how I read it. It was for a friend.

[joegator81]

"He would like to buy your record for a  friend customer who will pay dearly" is how I might interpret it if I can read some body language.

ok, I said earlier that I didn't care what he would have sold it to her for. I don't know her and wouldn't ask him to help me sell it to her because that's just not something I would do. There was no body language that would have remotely suggested he was just going to flip it. His comments and his tone of voice actually gave me the impression he might even be giving it to her as a gift.

[joegator81]

Another thought has come to mind.

You say that you thought of the dealer as a friend. Maybe he just thinks of you as a customer. Maybe every word he said to you was sincere and factual. You have stated repeatedly that you do not know otherwise. You stated that you WILL NOT smear his name on this forum although you dropped enough hints that those who bothered to look found him easily. All in all, I fail to see what your problem is here. Even if the guy lied, so what. Used records, used cars - all about the same. Certainly everyone sharing insights on this topic has been burned worse.

Dust yourself off, get back on your horse, and quit tattling to Mommy.

The premise seems to be that you were noble to relax your grip on the record in question and that you did so out of kindness in the face of someone else's desperate plight. Now you suspect that taffy has been distributed and that your noble gesture was all for naught and that bad man fibbed to you and all the guys on AC agree that you were wronged.

If indeed you live in Florida now, you should look outside your bubble at the rising tides. This lovers' spat is the least of your problems, as you will soon see.

ok, you obviously have your own pre conceived notions and possibly a reading comprehension problem, but thanks for the advice... i'll write it down on a roll of toilet paper so I can wipe my *** with it later.

[dminches]

Dust yourself off, get back on your horse, and quit tattling to Mommy.

Seriously, that's how you see it?

Very noble of you to tell someone else who has been lied to to just move on, and mischaracterize his request for advice as "tattling to Mommy."

[dminches]

joe, you have every right to go to his store and ask him if he put the record on ebay for sale.  If he admits it I would ask for the record back.  If he continues to lie you will have to see how far you want to push it.  Maybe you can ask to see the record he has for sale on ebay to see if it is yours.

And then you can decide if you will ever do business with him again.  I wouldn't.

[woodsyi]

Alright,

I am shutting down this drama before folks get too personal. 

Don't get personal on this circle please.

Good luck Joe.  I hope things work out amicably.

[geowak]

I have an anger inside me when I feel someone is taking advantage of me. Let's face it those kind of dishonest people are everywhere. Ebay, craigslist and some vendors and sellers on AC. I met one on AC that is an arrogant SOB. Usually when I am wronged by someone like this, and I am sure that they were deceitful, I tell my story to everyone. I tell it online, to friends, to review sites. I tell the truth. I have been confronted for ruining someones rep. I don't care because butth*les get what they give. Ok now I feel better.

But really, don't make a habit of screwing people and you won't get screwed yourself.