Joke of the Day

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mix4fix

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3340 on: 19 Nov 2024, 08:15 pm »
What was said when the Swedish Chef saw Miss Piggy bending over?

Pork-Pork-Pork!

After he was aroused, what did he do?

Pork-Pork-Pork!
« Last Edit: 19 Nov 2024, 10:16 pm by mix4fix »

JCarney

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3341 on: 19 Nov 2024, 08:43 pm »
Records this year at AT&T stadium:

Jake Paul: 1-0
Dallas Cowboys: 0-5

JCarney

Letitroll98

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3342 on: 20 Nov 2024, 11:44 am »
Records this year at AT&T stadium:

Jake Paul: 1-0
Dallas Cowboys: 0-5

JCarney

Oh, the humanity!

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3343 on: 30 Nov 2024, 10:11 pm »
I asked seven billionaires: “What's the secret to your success?"

They all said the same thing… 

"How did you get into my house?"

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3344 on: 3 Dec 2024, 12:51 am »
This morning I tripped over a box of Kleenex and thought I hurt myself!

Turns out, it was just tissue damage.

syzygy

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3345 on: 3 Dec 2024, 10:11 pm »
 I swallowed 106 duck feathers...it's been 5 weeks now and I still feel a little down in the dumps...

mix4fix

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3346 on: 9 Dec 2024, 02:07 am »
I bought a Roku box, because I wanted to get away from the stranglehold of Cable companies. In fact, I to watch the older, classic TV shows and movies (especially since they are free).

I have learned to be fan of the original "Star Trek" again.

Now, some of you might say to just subscribe to something so I can watch modern TV shows and movies. Capitalism is one thing, but they are price gouging and controlling what you watch, or what you want to watch.

I believe in free Enterprise.

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3347 on: 21 Dec 2024, 07:50 pm »
She fell in love with a librarian, but she read him wrong.

She fell in love with a racecar driver and things accelerated very quickly.

She fell in love with a elevator operator. It had its ups and downs.

She fell in love with a firefighter. Their love is a burning desire.

She fell in love with a painter and got brushed aside.

mix4fix

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3348 on: 22 Dec 2024, 07:07 am »
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you just stick it in the disabled one and hope no one finds out.

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3349 on: 4 Jan 2025, 10:13 pm »
Is it shitshow or shit show?

A “friend” wants to get his resignation letter just right...

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3350 on: 6 Jan 2025, 04:10 pm »
My dog is not a substitute for a child.

At least that’s what his piano teacher says.

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3351 on: 7 Jan 2025, 08:26 pm »
How to win the war on drugs:

1. Legalize all drugs.

2. Require all drugs to be purchased through your cable company's customer service.

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3352 on: 11 Jan 2025, 04:40 pm »
Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from going in your eye.

But whenever I have something in my eye it’s often an eyelash.

So eyeronic.

adminRH

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3353 on: 11 Jan 2025, 10:17 pm »
^hehe x4

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3354 on: 1 Feb 2025, 06:32 pm »
When three people have sex, it’s called a threesome.

With two, it’s called a twosome.

Now I know why ...

I’m called handsome.

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3355 on: 4 Feb 2025, 02:20 am »
Racecar spelled backwards is still racecar.

But racecar upside down is expensive.

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3356 on: 6 Feb 2025, 01:45 am »
According to my BMI, I should be about 8 foot 4.

So it’s not really my weight that’s the problem, it’s my height.

JakeJ

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3357 on: 6 Feb 2025, 09:11 pm »
Excellent logic! ^

jschwenker

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3358 on: 7 Feb 2025, 01:34 am »
Just had a police officer at my door looking for a man with one eye.

I told him if he used both eyes he’d probably find him a little quicker.

mix4fix

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #3359 on: 7 Feb 2025, 07:38 am »
I went to a paraplegic strip club.

The place was crawling with girls.