[Zuman]

A photographer at the National Dairy Association was injured today when a huge block of cheddar fell on him from behind.
(To be fair, all the people he was photographing did try to warn him.).

C'mon, AudioCirclers, I have faith in you...

[Letitroll98]

A photographer at the National Dairy Association was injured today when a huge block of cheddar fell on him from behind.
(To be fair, all the people he was photographing did try to warn him.).

C'mon, AudioCirclers, I have faith in you...

Unfortunately the weren't serving Duck!

[Zuman]

Well played, Letitroll!

I was walking passed a farm and saw a sign that said "Duck, Eggs."
Being a highly-paid former English major, I thought "Well, that’s an unnecessary comma."
And then it hit me...

[mix4fix]

I saw a hot non-binary person...

...and, I was like, "hey, let me she/them boobs".

[mix4fix]

What do you call a fish who wears a bow-tie?

Sofishticated.

[jschwenker]

The fact that some people can’t distinguish between entomology and etymology...

... bugs me in ways I can’t put into words.

[jschwenker]

This morning I saw an envelope on my doorstep that said: ‘Do Not Bend’.

I stood there for ages trying to figure out how to pick it up...

[mix4fix]

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband, and says, "I shaved down there; you know what that means."

The husband responds, "Yeah, the drain is clogged."

[nlitworld]

What do you call a fish who wears a bow-tie?

Sofishticated.

Say this out loud in your best Sean Connery voice. 

[Scroof Neachy]

[mix4fix]

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude.

I personally am on the fence.

[Letitroll98]

One for the math fans …

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons.

The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner.

The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knght with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon while the squire, using a noosed rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.

The next day the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The battle raged well into the late hours but, when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious. And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

[ArthurDent]

Good one Let 

[jschwenker]

Why did the mathematician name his dog “Cauchy”?

Because he left a residue at every pole.

[AllanS]

Who says math isn’t fun.

[Tyson]

I didn't get the triangle joke.  Am I obtuse?

[Zuman]

With respect to Letitroll98...
In an ancient kingdom many years ago, there was a feudal system in which a brotherhood of knights enjoyed nearly all the power, prestige, and resources. The knights, seeking to perpetuate their control, recognized that new blood must be introduced each generation, so they would elevate just one of their squires to knighthood every ten years based upon two factors: his performance in battle, and his performance in producing male children. It was very competitive, as you might imagine.
Every time the wife of one of the squires would become pregnant, the squire would begin a period of intense prayer and meditation during the month before delivery. They would retreat into the wilderness and sit upon an animal skin, fasting and praying for a son and - if possible - twins.
One year, the wives of three of the squires were due to deliver. One squire duly went into the wilderness and sat upon a wolf skin and began fasting and praying. The second squire went into his own isolated place and sat on a lion skin. And the third took a hippopotamus skin into the desert.
After the joyful occasions took place, the squires reported to the council of knights. "My lords," the first squire, who had prayed on a wolf skin, proclaimed, "I am pleased to inform you that my wife has delivered a healthy son!" The knights all smiled and applauded politely.
The second squire, who had prayed on a lion skin, approached the council. "My lords," he reported, "I am delighted to inform you that my wife has delivered healthy twin sons!" The knights looked at each other knowingly and applauded enthusiastically.
Finally, the third squire approached. "My lords," he announced, "I am overjoyed to report that while I prayed on my hippopotamus skin, my wife delivered triplets, all boys and all strong and healthy!"
The knights cheered and celebrated, thumping their table and clanking their tankards of ale. Then the head knight rose. "It should be obvious to all," he bellowed, "that the squire on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squires on the other two hides!"
Ba-dum-dum...

[2wo]

I didn't get the triangle joke.  Am I obtuse?

No, your right.

[Tyson]

No, your right.

What an acute observation!

[mix4fix]

If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with only one leg work at?

I-Hop.

(tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning)