[thunderbrick]

And keeping his mouth shut??   

[Cheeseboy]

Cavity searches are not funny. 

Enjoy the Day of Atonement with your families and Happy Holidays.

[WGH]

Hey everyone, don't forget about the bunnies.

[ted_b]

A man goes to see the Doctor. "Doctor, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Doctor asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Doctor , very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The  then Doctor  offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Doctor  calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

The man said "yes, of course!"

The Doctor replied, "Take the poison."

[mikeeastman]

  Good one

[Guy 13]

 

[decal]

The well equiped bathroom....................

[decal]

Kids say the darndest things................................

[Bob in St. Louis]

Sports quotes:

"Last year we couldn't win at home and we were losing on the road.  My failure as a coach was that I couldn't think of anyplace else to play."
> -- Harry Neale, professional hockey coach
>
> "Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch."
> -- Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver
>
> "I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time.  If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect."
> -- Doug Sanders, professional golfer
>
> "All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay.  Bring me another beer.'"
> -- Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher
>
> "When it's third and ten, you can have the milk drinkers; I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time."
> -- Max McGee, Green Bay Packers receiver
>
> "I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles.  Eighty percent of the people who hear them don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having them."
> -- Tommy LaSorda , LA Dodgers manager
>
> "My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget."
> -- E.J.  Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee operations
>
> "My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and can make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis.  If you only stick it on your forehead, your chances aren't as good."
> -- Vic Braden, tennis instructor
>
> "When they operated, I told them to add in a Koufax fastball.  They did but unfortunately it was Mrs.  Koufax's."
> -- Tommy John,N.Y.  Yankees, recalling his 1974 arm surgery
>
> "I don't know.  I only played there for nine years."
> -- Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles
>
> "We were tipping off our plays.  Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost."
> -- John Breen, Houston Oilers
>
> "The film looks suspiciously like the game itself."
> -- Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons
>
> "When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo."
> -- Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher
>
> "I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats."
> -- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox owner
>
> "Because if it didn't work out, I didn't want to blow the whole day."
> -- Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon
>
> "I have a lifetime contract.  That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball."
> -- Lou Holtz , Arkansas football coach
>
> "I won't know until my barber tells me on Monday."
> --Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game
>
> "I tell him 'Attaway to hit, George.'"
> --Jim Frey, K.C.  Royals manager when asked what advice he gives George Brett on hitting
>
> "I learned a long time ago that 'minor surgery' is when they do the operation on someone else, not you."
> -- Bill Walton, Portland Trial Blazers
>
> "Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash."
> -- George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach surveying the team rooster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores
>
> "The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday."
> -- Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach

[srb]

Sports quotes:
> "I learned a long time ago that 'minor surgery' is when they do the operation on someone else, not you."
> -- Bill Walton, Portland Trial Blazers

Was Bill Walton a lawyer?

[JoshK]

Hey everyone, don't forget about the bunnies.

That reminds me of the hidden track on Tool's Undertow, called Disgustipated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOvwc8_QXiY

"...tomorow is harvest day...and to them it is the holocaust..."
"Let the rabbit's wear glasses!"

[WGH]

Had to listen, funny song.

[decal]

Some thoughts to ponder................................. ....................................... ...........................




The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
--------

I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

--------

She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
--------



A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
--------

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
--------

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
--------

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
--------

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
--------

A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
--------

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
--------

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

_________

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
--------

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
--------

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: ' Keep off the Grass.'
--------

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
--------

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
--------

A backward poet writes inverse.
--------

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
--------

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
_____

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
--------

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says,
“I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
--------

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam! "
--------


Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
--------

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive. "
--------

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.


 

[decal]

Japanese sex.................................... ....................................... ..................


A Japanese couple are having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex.

Husband: Sukitaki.

Wife replies: Kowanini!

Husband says: Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!

Wife on her knees literally begging: Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!

Husband replies angrily: Na miaou kina tim kouji!.







Incredible, and there you sit, reading this stuff as if you understand Japanese!

I always knew you would read anything on sex.
__________________

[Guy 13]

Hi decal and all Audio Circle members.
I fell stupid after falling in your Japanese trap.
Yes, I read every single words and try to figure out what it meant.
Wow, you got me with that one.

Guy 13

[Bob2]

Did you know

Cannibals won't eat clowns....

They taste funny.

[bside123]

Uh Oh... Cannibal Jokes.

Did ya hear about the cannibals that went crazy during a hockey game?

There was a face off in the the corner.

[bside123]

Two cannibals walked into a pizzeria and ordered a large pie with everybody on it.

[Letitroll98]

Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup,” said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But I'm going to miss her terribly.”

[bside123]

Two cannibals were eating their victim. One started at the head and the other at the feet. The cannibal at the head yells down to his buddy, "Hey, how ya doin' down there?" His cannibal friends lifts his head and grins, "I'm having a ball!" The first cannibal cracks back, "Well, then slow down... you're eating too fast."