Your PC laptop to control the Mini might be possible but it might be convoluted.
I think desktop/remote PC access would be key but I also would think it would involve some security risk involved.
The best solution would be an Itouch, even the smallest capacity would do. There is a free app called "Remote" which gives you 100% access to your Itunes music library. It is foolproof and after first setting up the MacMini, you will not need a screen to make it work. Nevertheless when it comes to ripping physical CDs etc...you will need to have a screen attached for those ripping sessions. Also, the Mini will need to be on all the time if you want to access music instantly and control the tracks via the Itouch.