[bside123]

A snail crawls into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve snails here," picks up the snail and chucks him out the window. About year later, the snail crawls back into the bar and exclaims, "Hey... what was all that about?"

[turkey]

I think the crux of the joke is that he's drinking Budweiser, right?

I saw this picture yesterday - King of Beers

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=14191

[turkey]

Based on that, if you tell the joke using Keystone Light, your case would probably be best to only contain 13 beers.

On a scale of 1 to 24 cans, how would you rate this beer?

[Mama Virtue]

I think most jokes involve bad beer just because its funny in and of itself that people insist that "budweiser" "coors" etc are "the best." If they told the joke with Guinness for example, it just wouldn't be very funny, because you would now be thinking of someone with decent taste, not some "stereotypical" bud drinker, who has to down 12 before he's even halfway to being lit.

[turkey]

I think most jokes involve bad beer just because its funny in and of itself that people insist that "budweiser" "coors" etc are "the best." If they told the joke with Guinness for example, it just wouldn't be very funny, because you would now be thinking of someone with decent taste, not some "stereotypical" bud drinker, who has to down 12 before he's even halfway to being lit.

No, I think the joke was that it was cheaper for him to alter his perceptions by getting drunk than for his wife to alter her appearance.

It would work with any brand of beer, you'd just adjust the prices up and down. It's probably best with cheap beer, but that's just because it gives you the idea they're real cheapskates.




A husband and wife are shopping in the shops in the MGM Grand in Vegas.
The husband picks up a bottle of fine cognac.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'We can't get this at home and it's only $250' he replies.
'Put it back, we can't afford it demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
They wander into Sephora and the wife picks up a $500 jar of face cream.
‘What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does a bottle of cognac and it's half the price.'

[BobM]

did we really have to devote a page of dialogue to "explain" that stupid joke that everyone has already heard a hundred times? If you're going to post a comment at least attach something humerous to it to keep the thread on topic.

**************

3 strings walk into a bar. The first string goes up to the bartender and orders 3 beers. The bartender says, "What are you?". The string replies, "I'm a string". The bartender then says, "We don't serve no strings in here."

So the second string gets angry, walks up to the bartender and orders 3 beers and 3 shots. The bartender again says, "I told your friend, we don't serve no stinkin strings in here."

So the 3rd string says, "I'll handle this". He ties himself into a knot and messes up his hair, then hops up to the bartender and orders 3 beers and 3 shots. The bartender says, "I already told your friends we don't serve strings in here, but you look different. Are you a string?"

And the 3rd string replies, "I'm a frayed knot."

[srb]

If you're going to post a comment at least attach something humerous to it to keep the thread on topic.

And yet you didn't.  Well, to be fair, the topic is "Joke of the Day", not "Funny Joke of the Day".

[decal]

Q...What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of drugs?

A...Man,this band sucks!!!! 

Disclaimer...I'm terribly sorry if this has been posted before,offends someone,doesn't make you laugh,hurts your feelings,etc.(not really but you know how some folks get!!).

[mightym]

I go into the Toyota dealer nearby, 'cause I want to drive the new trucks.  Just to see if I'm missing anything.  first thing I notice about the salesman is he's got an "Obama Change" lapel button on his jacket.

Well we're out tooling around in the truck, and he's extolling the various virtues of the vehicle.  He goes on at some length about the seats, how they blow cold air in the summer, and warm your bottom with hot air in the winter.

I pop off that this truck must be a republican.  Almost indignant the salesman ask's through clenched teeth, why I would say such a thing.

"Easy" I reply " if it were a democrat, it would blow smoke up your ass all the time".

That sorry asshole made me walk back to the dealership....

[bside123]

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

[lonewolfny42]

I think the crux of the joke is that he's drinking Budweiser, right?

Remember this one....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho2QTjp6xVs

[tesseract]

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

That is sooo dry... I love it! Here's another. I like brevity with my levity.


A skeleton goes into a bar and says "Give me a beer and a mop."

[bside123]

Then there was the cannibal who passed his brother in the forest.

[Russell Dawkins]

Remember this one....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho2QTjp6xVs

I guess beer can be a regional thing. I don't think that commercial ever came out west.

Here, the most popular old beer commercial was for Rainier beer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz-WuLQz_ns

either that or this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCW9gqN-_mE

[dave slagle]

The "frayed knot" is one of my favorites.

here is another.

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks the keep for a brew.

We don't serve your type here was the response.

Why not? "I am a Fun-guy"

[Russell Dawkins]

to go a little overboard, here are two Rainier ads with Mickie Rooney from the late 70s:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64-Ieeu7oIA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYriKkJM4CU&feature=related

[lonewolfny42]

Looks like Rainier had some funny commercials....

One more beer please.... 

[charmerci]

Re: Political jokes

I have NEVER heard a political joke - either about Democrats or Republicans - that was the least bit funny at all.

There's always an underlying seriousness and animosity in them. 

[bside123]

A cannibal walks into a pizzeria and orders a large pie with everybody on it.

[johzel]

Question:  How do you get a 80 year old woman to use the "f" word? 
Answer:  Get another 80 year old woman to yell, "Bingo!!"