Joke of the Day

jschwenker · « **Reply #3460 on:** 28 Oct 2025, 03:20 pm »

A witch claimed she could turn me into a sea bird,

but I’m just not that gullible.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3461 on:** 30 Oct 2025, 07:00 pm »

The funeral of the Tupperware inventor has been postponed.

They are trying to find the right lid to fit his coffin.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3462 on:** 6 Nov 2025, 12:08 am »

I finally found love.

It’s on page 326 of my dictionary - bottom right corner.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3463 on:** 6 Nov 2025, 06:34 pm »

I met a girl crying outside the mall, and I asked her "what's wrong?". She said she lost $200. So, I gave her $40 from the $200 I picked up from the entrance.

When God blesses you, you must bless others.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3464 on:** 9 Nov 2025, 03:55 am »

So apparently, me putting an Alka-Seltzer in my mouth and walking into Walmart saying "the virus is mutated" is not funny.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3465 on:** 9 Nov 2025, 01:22 pm »

I think it’s a great idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3466 on:** 11 Nov 2025, 04:47 pm »

A daughter asked her father, "Why is my brother named Izzap?".

The father replied, "Well honey, it's because Izzap is backwards spelling for pizza. I love pizza.".

The daughter replied, "Thanks dad.".

The father replied, "No problem, Lana.".

jschwenker · « **Reply #3467 on:** 12 Nov 2025, 02:38 pm »

My friend’s wife warned him not to steal the kitchen utensils …

But it was a whisk, he was willing to take.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3468 on:** 13 Nov 2025, 03:53 pm »

Over the span of 11 years, 115 people died in weightlifting accidents in the gym. In the same 11 years, only one person died eating donuts.

Make good choices people.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3469 on:** 14 Nov 2025, 05:55 pm »

A recent study found that 3 out of 4 people …

... make up 75 percent of the global population.

Jimbo480 · « **Reply #3470 on:** 14 Nov 2025, 06:02 pm »

How do you keep an audiophile in suspense for 24 hours?

-I'll tell you tomorrow.

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3471 on:** 14 Nov 2025, 08:33 pm »

Wadda ya call a little Irish man who lives on your porch?

Paddy O' Furniture

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3472 on:** 14 Nov 2025, 08:35 pm »

A man walked into a psychiatrist's wearing nothing but cellophane wrap.

Well I can clearly see your nuts.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3473 on:** 17 Nov 2025, 02:25 pm »

Of all the canoes out there ...

... volcanoes are the most dangerous.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3474 on:** 20 Nov 2025, 04:12 pm »

I woke up with stir fry all over my pillow.

I must have been sleep woking again.

toocool4 · « **Reply #3475 on:** 20 Nov 2025, 10:17 pm »

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/x4on9zsWsHs

cementhead · « **Reply #3476 on:** 20 Nov 2025, 11:20 pm »

mix4fix · « **Reply #3477 on:** 22 Nov 2025, 09:41 pm »

( E M P T Y ) - empty
( E M T Y ) - empty
( M T Y ) - empty
( M T ) - empty
( ) - empty

jschwenker · « **Reply #3478 on:** **Yesterday** at 02:17 pm »

I was just thinking back to a time when a guy asked me if I wanted to pet his cocker spaniel.

In retrospect, I should have petted his spaniel.

I.Greyhound Fan · « **Reply #3479 on:** **Yesterday** at 04:38 pm »

Scientists have found a way to combine the DNA of a Crab with the DNA of a Cheetah. I don't know what the offspring looked like but I hear that
it went sideways real fast.