[jschwenker]

A ship from China,

... carrying yo-yos,

... sank six times yesterday.

[jschwenker]

Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.

Police are combing the area.

[mix4fix]

What happens when Ozzy shows his bare buttocks to an angry canine?

"Moon At The Bark"

[Solarflares]

What do you get if you cross Queen Elizabeth 2 and Prince Philip?


Killed in a tunnel.

Punchlines of jokes rejected…
“It keeps the flies off my melon”.
“You should have seen the monkey trying to put the cork back in”.
“I’m jus fucking dis custard boss”.
“Actually, that turd is my wife’s. It’s got my lunchbox in it”.
“Yeth, and I’m only thixteen”.

[Solarflares]

Two pieces of string walk into bar.
One says to the barman - “Two pints of bitter please”.
The barman says - “I can’t serve you.  You’re a piece of string.  Get out”.

He turns to the other one and says - “I suppose you’re a piece of string as well?”

“Fraid not”

[jschwenker]

Two mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.

One of them says, “I gotta admit I’m scared out here”.

The other replies, “You’re scared? … I gotta walk back alone!"

[Solarflares]

What’s the best thing about shagging twenty-six year-olds?



There’s twenty of them.

[jschwenker]

When I donate my body to science,

they’ll be like,

wow, we did not want this.