Joke of the Day

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mix4fix

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2760 on: 17 Oct 2019, 05:04 pm »
I'm fat, but I identify as skinny.  I'm Trans-slender.

I'm semi-fat, but I identify as someone who can do yoga. I'm trans-bender.

When I go to Capitol Audio Fest, I identify as person who will buy something from the VAC room. I'm trans-spender.

I identify as a chameleon. I'm trans-blender.

I identify as a British soap opera. I'm trans-East Enders.

I identify as a Pontiac muscled-sports car. I'm Trans-Am.

I work nights, but I identify as a morning person. I'm trans-A.M.

I identify as a supermarket. I'm trans-A&P.

I identify as a conjunction. I'm trans-and.

thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2761 on: 19 Oct 2019, 04:31 am »



JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2762 on: 19 Oct 2019, 06:37 pm »
What do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles?

Stop laughing and untie him from the ceiling fan.

JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2763 on: 19 Oct 2019, 06:38 pm »
You've got to hand it to blind prostitutes.

brooklyn

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2764 on: 22 Oct 2019, 03:21 am »



WGH

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2765 on: 6 Nov 2019, 01:23 am »
I was looking at frozen turkeys this weekend but couldn't find one big enough to feed the gang at Thanksgiving so I asked the butcher "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He replied with a straight face "No sir, they're dead"

JLM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2766 on: 6 Nov 2019, 01:20 pm »
I had a clutch of wild turkeys pecking at my basement lookout window yesterday (happens occasionally).  When running across the field out back they remind me of the scene from the first Jurassic Park movie where they show various dinosaurs running across the open plain.  They're so stupid, nearly flightless, yet somehow keep surviving. 

You know Wayne, two smaller turkeys would cook faster than one huge one.  You could roast one and fry the other to offer variety too.  Is your oven big enough for a huge bird? 

WGH

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2767 on: 6 Nov 2019, 04:44 pm »
It is a joke, I wasn't actually shopping for a turkey but overjoyed I fooled you   :wink:

weatherman1

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2768 on: 10 Nov 2019, 05:58 am »



JLM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2769 on: 10 Nov 2019, 11:55 am »
It is a joke, I wasn't actually shopping for a turkey but overjoyed I fooled you   :wink:

Was just playing along.

Really enjoy all the humor.

richidoo

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2770 on: 11 Nov 2019, 12:12 am »

Russell Dawkins

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2771 on: 11 Nov 2019, 06:40 am »


Say that again, but slowly.

Another take:





thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2772 on: 18 Nov 2019, 11:37 pm »
I just heard that Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson are merging.

Their new name is going to be TittyTitty Bang Bang

thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2773 on: 19 Nov 2019, 03:32 am »



CanadianMaestro

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2774 on: 20 Nov 2019, 04:59 pm »
I just heard that Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson are merging.

Their new name is going to be TittyTitty Bang Bang

Charmin Ultra-Soft Toilet Paper has merged with Beretta.
GUESS what their new name will be....

 :lol: :popcorn:

Russell Dawkins

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2775 on: 20 Nov 2019, 07:18 pm »
Charmin Ultra-Soft Toilet Paper has merged with Beretta.
GUESS what their new name will be....

 :lol: :popcorn:

Harmin' Charmin?

weatherman1

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2776 on: 22 Nov 2019, 06:20 am »



JerryM

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2777 on: 23 Nov 2019, 08:10 pm »


FireGuy

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2778 on: 25 Nov 2019, 02:12 am »



thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2779 on: 26 Nov 2019, 02:23 pm »