An old married couple no sooner hits the pillows when the man passes gas and says, "Seven points!"
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown! Tie score..."
After about five minutes the old man lets another one goes and says, "Aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7"
Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Ten seconds go by and she forces out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to be beaten, so he strains as hard as he can; defeat is unacceptable - he gives it everything he's got.
He totally shits the bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?!"
The old man says, "Halftime, switch sides."