Joke of the Day

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mikeeastman

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2340 on: 15 Apr 2018, 09:01 pm »
jhm731 that's a good one  :thumb:

charmerci

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2341 on: 15 Apr 2018, 11:14 pm »
 

mlundy57

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2342 on: 22 Apr 2018, 06:17 pm »
And then you realize it's in your hand.
As Iv'e gotten older I am thinking more and more about the here after.
I walk into a room and think "what the heck did I come in here after"?

Don

I have recently learned this is not a memory issue. Its nature's way of making sure we get our exercise.

Mike

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2343 on: 22 Apr 2018, 08:53 pm »



aragon63

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2344 on: 23 Apr 2018, 08:10 pm »
Wedding Ring

Tough Call

A man went to the local Medical Center, to have his wedding ring cut off his penis,
but to his misfortune the operation wasn't covered by his medical insurance.

According to the nurse attending the operation, the patient's girlfriend had found the ring in his pants pocket while he was asleep..
She didn't know he was married and she was so mad she used petroleum jelly and slipped the ring on his penis while he slept.

I don't know what's worse:

1. Finding out you signed up for the wrong medical insurance coverage.
2. Having your girlfriend find out you're married.
3. Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis....OR...
4. Finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Tough call. You decide.

mikeeastman

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2345 on: 23 Apr 2018, 08:46 pm »
aragon that's a good one  :lol: :lol:

Goosepond

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2346 on: 23 Apr 2018, 09:31 pm »
Roses are red, violets are blue,

I'm a schizophrenic and so am I!

From What About Bob with Richard Dreyfus and Bill Murray.

Cracked me up when I saw this recently.

Gene

Roninaudio

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2347 on: 24 Apr 2018, 12:18 am »



jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2348 on: 24 Apr 2018, 07:17 pm »



Roninaudio

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2349 on: 24 Apr 2018, 11:01 pm »


Got some of this today to speed up my lagging internet speeds.  Only 29.99.  Hopefully it works soon...

David C

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2350 on: 25 Apr 2018, 05:54 pm »
Any takers, will fish , hunt and clean your truck
> I know it's late notice, but a friend of  mine has two tickets for the
> Super Bowl in Minneapolis at the new U. S. Bank Stadium on Sunday,
> February 4th.  They are box seats and he paid $3,500 per ticket, which
> includes the ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner, a $400.00 bar
> tab and a pass to the winners locker room after the game.  What he didn't
> realize when he bought them last year was that it's on the same day as his
> wedding.  If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his
> place.  It's at St. Paul's Catholic Church at 3 p.m.  Her name is Ashley.
> She's 5'4", about 115 pounds, a good cook, loves to fish and hunt and will
> clean your truck.  She'll be the one in the white dress.

jhm731

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2351 on: 25 Apr 2018, 07:52 pm »



decal

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2352 on: 3 May 2018, 01:37 pm »
Finally, some useful facts are coming out about all of those airport full body scans!

FULL BODY SCANS AT AIRPORTS

TSA disclosed the following

Airport Screening Results

2017 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening From TSA :

Terrorists Discovered

0

Transvestites

133

Hernias

1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases

3,172

Enlarged Prostates

8,249

Breast Implants

59,350

Natural Blondes

3


mikeeastman

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2353 on: 4 May 2018, 01:15 am »


JerryM

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2354 on: 4 May 2018, 02:09 am »
Today, a colleague told me this story wherein her nephew was born with no eyelids. Just horrible.

To help the little guy, a plastic surgeon used pieces of his foreskin to make his eyelids.

Now he's a little cockeyed.

JerryM

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2355 on: 16 May 2018, 02:25 am »


thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2356 on: Today at 03:01 pm »