Joke of the Day

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thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2280 on: 28 Feb 2018, 06:34 pm »
What’s got 200 legs and no teeth?


The front row at a Rolling Stones concert...

bside123

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2281 on: 28 Feb 2018, 06:38 pm »
The world's wettest spy... Pond, James Pond.

Emil

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2282 on: 28 Feb 2018, 06:42 pm »

Emil

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2283 on: 28 Feb 2018, 06:43 pm »

thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2284 on: 28 Feb 2018, 07:09 pm »
While riding my bike yesterday, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess."

Shakeydeal

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2285 on: 28 Feb 2018, 07:17 pm »
The world's wettest spy... Pond, James Pond.


Don't quit your day job. You're 0 for 2 as of right now.........


Shakey

bside123

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2286 on: 28 Feb 2018, 07:22 pm »
How many psychotherapists does it take to change a penis?  Oh I'm sorry... I mean't light bulb.

bside123

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2287 on: 28 Feb 2018, 07:22 pm »
How many psychotherapists does it take to change a penis?  Oh I'm sorry... I mean't light bulb.

#3

charmerci

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2288 on: 1 Mar 2018, 04:06 am »
How many psychotherapists does it take to change a penis?  Oh I'm sorry... I mean't light bulb.

I would change that to psychoanalysts - as that is what Freudians are.

Thought it was funny btw.

decal

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2289 on: 4 Mar 2018, 05:51 pm »
 


decal

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2290 on: 4 Mar 2018, 05:52 pm »



bside123

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2291 on: 4 Mar 2018, 06:00 pm »
If a plant gets sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?

Kinda like, “I chlorofeel you man!”

Kenneth Patchen

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2292 on: 5 Mar 2018, 12:52 am »



JohnR

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2293 on: 5 Mar 2018, 09:54 am »
If a plant gets sad, do other plants photosympathize with it?

Kinda like, “I chlorofeel you man!”

The first line was funny, should have stopped there :)

Shakeydeal

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2294 on: 5 Mar 2018, 12:00 pm »
The first line was funny, should have stopped there :)

Believe me, he should have stopped loooooong before that............


Shakey

Goosepond

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2295 on: 5 Mar 2018, 01:37 pm »
There's nothing funny about those legs and knees. All I know is that they are driving me crazy. Maybe it's because I'm older than Moses!  :green:

Gene

bside123

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2296 on: 5 Mar 2018, 02:48 pm »
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature. All Dante.

thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2297 on: 8 Mar 2018, 04:52 pm »


JerryM

Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2298 on: 8 Mar 2018, 08:37 pm »
 :lol:

thunderbrick

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Re: Joke of the Day
« Reply #2299 on: 8 Mar 2018, 09:16 pm »