[Devil Doc]

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
 Both were very faithful and loving wives, however
 they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi
 Breezers.

 Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to
 pee, so they stopped in the cemetery..

 One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought
 she would take off her panties and use them.

 Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive
 pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

 She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave
 that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she
 proceeded to wipe with that.

 After the girls did their business they proceeded to
 go home.

 The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned
 that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in
 bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:
 'These girl nights out have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. . . My wife came home with no panties!!'

 'That's nothing' said the other husband,
 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her backside that
 Said..

 'From all of us at the Fire Station.
 We'll never forget you.''

Doc

[srb]

That one was actually posted just over a week ago
http://www.audiocircle.com/index.php?topic=72917.msg1217802#msg1217802

Searches are quick and easy.  Just click the Print tab link at the upper right corner of the page and then do a Find for keyword.

Steve

[decal]

You might be a redneck................................ .......


redneck hot tub

redneck window crank

redneck wagon

redneck conversation pit

redneck toilet

redneck door knob

 

 

[jhm731]

[Russell Dawkins]

Or, as the Bob Dylan sound-alike on a Firesign Theater record said, "I suffered for my music; now it's your turn".

[dflee]

I tell people I'm so bad, I can't even lip sync in key.

[FullRangeMan]

Conduct at mother-in-law home:
1st Month:
Do not sit, do not take coffee, everything is good, always says please and thank you.

2nd Month:
Sit down a little uneasy, drink coffee but does not eat cake, caresses the dog, everything is great.

3rd Month:
Having lunch at the girlfriend's house, drink whiskey with the father in law, open the refrigerator alone and praises the sister in law legs.

4th Month:
Put the foot on the table of the room, goes to the bathroom, belching in front of his girlfriend and gives hints.

5th Month:
Come uninvited, serves alone at mealtimes, wipes his mouth on the tablecloth and dating on the sofa.

6th Month:
Lunch and dinner, asks borrow the father in law car, farts on the sofa with no ambarrassment and shows the decayed tooth for the mother in law.

7th Month:
Sleep with the girlfriend on weekends. At dinner raises and straightens his underwear with his finger and continues to eat.

8th Month:
Complains on the mother in law, pee with the bathroom door open and goes hand in sister in law ass.

9th Month:
Crap and does not discharge the toilet, kick the dog, have sex in the mother in law bed and cleans in the bedroom curtains.

10th Month:
Spend more time at the mother in law home than in his, treats the girlfriend as housemaid and borrow money for the father in law.

11th Month:
Shout with everybody in the house, spank the younger brother in law and pregnant the sister in law.

12th Month:
Finish with the dating because it no longer tolerate her family!
- - -
Awful joke 

[mboxler]

A gorilla escapes from the zoo one day and runs into a suburban area,
where it climbs up a tree belonging to one Mr. Jones and won't come
down. Naturally, Jones is a bit worried about the gorilla, and so calls
the local gorilla exterminator.

The exterminator arrives with a shotgun, chains, and a big mean doberman. "Mr.
Jones,isn't it?  I hear you have a gorilla problem.  Well, you see, my
assistant is out sick today, and I could use your help.  Can you take
me to the gorilla, first of all?"  Jones leads the exterminator to the
tree where the gorilla is.

"Okay," says the exterminator.  "I'll need you to hold the shotgun. I'm
going to let the dog loose, and climb up this tree.  When I get to the
gorilla, I'll give the branch a good shake and he'll come falling out
of the tree.  Once he does, ol' Fido here is trained to jump on the
gorilla and bite good and hard into his nuts, and he'll be helpless
while you put the chains on him."

"I see," says Jones.  "But, then, what is the gun for?"

"Oh, the gun is the most important part," says the exterminator. "If,
by some chance, I should fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla
...SHOOT THE DOG!"

[decal]

Can you say set-up?

[decal]

[Bob in St. Louis]

If you've spent any amount of time married, you may find this humorous.   
 
http://vimeo.com/m/66753575

[Guy 13]

If you've spent any amount of time married, you may find this humorous.   
 
http://vimeo.com/m/66753575

 

I've been married for 19 years.

Guy 13

[bpape]

 

[dflee]

With 31 pages, I appologize if this is a repeat.
A guy goes to the dentist with a problem and after examination the dentist tells him it is a cavity that needs to be filled. The dentist tells him with a couple of shot of novicane he won't feel a thing. The guy tells the dentist he can't do needles so the dentist tells him he can give him nitrus oxide with no problem. Well the guy says he is allergic to the gas so the dentist asks him if he can take a pill and the guy tells him sure. The dentist leaves the room and comes back with a pill and some water and hands it to the guy. He looks at it and asks why he was given a Viagra pill for the procedure and the dentist tells him your going to need something to hang on to when I drill into that sucker.

[mikeeastman]

27 years with wife number 5 and I have NO idea why anyone would fine this funny.

Now is it a good idea to show this to the little women???

[Russell Dawkins]

Now is it a good idea to show this to the little women???

I think maybe not! 

[srb]

With 31 pages, I appologize if this is a repeat.

Yes, it was posted on January 13.
http://www.audiocircle.com/index.php?topic=72917.msg1179597#msg1179597

Just an FYI for long topics with many pages - If you click the Print link (top right of the page), that will render the entire topic into one continuous searchable page.  Then a quick Find ..... only took a few seconds.

Steve

[JerryM]

If you've spent any amount of time married, you may find this humorous.   
 
http://vimeo.com/m/66753575

That's funny.     

The look on his face at 1:05....  Man, I've had that same look so many times. 

[jhm731]

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

[JerryM]

Good grief, I nearly spit coffee all over my monitor.   

La Fway