Joke of the Day

Guy 13 · « **Reply #580 on:** 30 Apr 2013, 03:27 am »

Quote from: jhm731 on 30 Apr 2013, 01:53 am

Homesick Snowbird-

I was in Ft. Myers, Florida, the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I MISS CHICAGO"

So, I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the tires, added an Obama bumper sticker, and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"

mikeeastman · « **Reply #581 on:** 3 May 2013, 03:47 am »

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed both laws - gay marriage and legalizedmarijuana.
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says, "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned." We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!

WireNut · « **Reply #582 on:** 3 May 2013, 05:09 am »

Quote from: mikeeastman on 3 May 2013, 03:47 am

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed both laws - gay marriage and legalizedmarijuana.
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says, "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned." We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!

Never looked at it like that before

Guy 13 · « **Reply #583 on:** 3 May 2013, 05:18 am »

Hi all Audio Circle members.

Make sense...

Guy 13

dflee · « **Reply #584 on:** 3 May 2013, 02:11 pm »

That is some great logic.
Everybody must get stoned (Dylan)

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #585 on:** 3 May 2013, 05:57 pm »

Am I allowed to pick one or the other?

JerryM · « **Reply #586 on:** 3 May 2013, 06:05 pm »

Quote from: Letitroll98 on 3 May 2013, 05:57 pm

Am I allowed to pick one or the other?

That depends...

jhm731 · « **Reply #587 on:** 3 May 2013, 06:53 pm »

Washington State Logic Professor:

FullRangeMan · « **Reply #588 on:** 3 May 2013, 07:55 pm »

deleted

pansixt · « **Reply #589 on:** 4 May 2013, 12:29 am »

I couldn't care less whether people get stoned and/or have sex of whatever type, or with whomever.

I do remember living in Colorado when they put up the bill to support Gay rights.

There was a large (or small considering) outcry with one of the slogans being:

No Special Rights for Gays. After All, Here in Colorado we're Mountain Men.. Not Men Mountain Men.

FullRangeMan · « **Reply #590 on:** 4 May 2013, 01:10 am »

deleted too

Tyson · « **Reply #591 on:** 4 May 2013, 01:20 am »

Seriously? You post this crap often enough that someone should give you a timeout.

pansixt · « **Reply #592 on:** 4 May 2013, 01:33 am »

That was my bad. I shouldn't have opened that can.

So back to he humor and jokes.

Pointing to my own self:

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The Hoover has the Dirtbag on the Inside!

FullRangeMan · « **Reply #593 on:** 4 May 2013, 01:42 am »

Quote from: pansixt on 4 May 2013, 01:33 am

That was my bad. I shouldn't have opened that can.

So back to he humor and jokes.

Pointing to my own self:

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The Hoover has the Dirtbag on the Inside!

Not your falt at all. I will delete it.

pansixt · « **Reply #594 on:** 4 May 2013, 01:59 am »

No worries.
I often have to remind myself that the wisest among us, take not ourselves, so seriously.

Maybe finding a small bit of humor in our faults helps in this pursuit.

dflee · « **Reply #595 on:** 4 May 2013, 02:21 am »

I still think Dylan had it right.
I would not feel so all alone.

jhm731 · « **Reply #596 on:** 6 May 2013, 01:13 am »

Paul calls into work and says,
" I'm sorry, I can't come to work today, I'm really sick.
I have a headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I'm not coming in."

The design manager says, " You know something Paul, we really need you today.
When I feel sick like you, I go to my wife and ask her to give me sex.
That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later, Paul calls again. "I did what you said and I feel great. I'll be at work soon.

You have a really nice house...!"

martyo · « **Reply #597 on:** 6 May 2013, 05:27 pm »

Quote from: jhm731 on 6 May 2013, 01:13 am

Paul calls into work and says,
" I'm sorry, I can't come to work today, I'm really sick.
I have a headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I'm not coming in."

The design manager says, " You know something Paul, we really need you today.
When I feel sick like you, I go to my wife and ask her to give me sex.
That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later, Paul calls again. "I did what you said and I feel great. I'll be at work soon.

You have a really nice house...!"

In February (#508) it was "Kimo" who called in sick. Still funny but not as funny as the first time with Kimo.

decal · « **Reply #598 on:** 7 May 2013, 10:02 am »

The Trucker

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside of Las Vegas.

He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and

says,"I want your ugliest woman and a baloney sandwich!!!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."

The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."

Guy 13 · « **Reply #599 on:** 7 May 2013, 10:13 am »