[mikeeastman]

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved
To play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a
Bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to
Go get th e farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
Farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no
Avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's ne w Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with
A length of rope hoping he still had time to save his
friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see
The chicken arrive on the shiny Harl ey, and he managed to
Get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the
Farmer's' bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and,
With the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the
Farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he
Returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented : Best
Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and
Soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to
Save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the
Large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his
Hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the
Pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up
And out, saving his life.

The moral of the story
(yep, you betcha, there is a moral !)

'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!

[lonewolfny42]

Hmmmm....looks like there's some new washing instructions on garments these days...

[jobyts]

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

[bside123]

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

Now, that's doog! 

[doug s.]

1) dyslexic yoke:

"a man walks into a bra..."

2) q:  what is it you have when someone who is an agnostic insomniac dyslexic?
    a:  someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog...

doug s.,
dyslexics of the world untie!

[Russell Dawkins]

Bumper sticker noted:
"DAM - Mothers Against Dyslexia"

[bside123]

"DAM"

That's what the fish said who swam into a wall.

[JerryM]

I cleaned the attic with my girlfriend the other day. Now she can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

[thunderbrick]

 

[Æ]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

[Big Red Machine]

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,  silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.






The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'







While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old  lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a  button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a  small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.







They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.





The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'

[bside123]

[doug s.]

odd man out at the feminist's rally


doug s.   

[Big Red Machine]

Classic, Doug!

[decal]

Excellent, doug s.

[Letitroll98]

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has opened in NYC, where women may go choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, but you can not go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love kids  ‘That’s nice she thinks, but I want more.’

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs and Love kids, and are Extremely good looking  ‘Wow’ she thinks but feels compelled to keep going.

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs and Love kids, and are Drop-dead good looking and Help with housework ‘Oh mercy me she exclaims, ‘ I can hardly stand it’

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs and Love kids, and are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE!  To avoid gender bias charges, the store owners opened a New Wives Store across the street.

The first floor has wives that love Sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, forth, fifth and six floor have never been visited.   

[srb]

That sounded familiar.

http://www.audiocircle.com/index.php?topic=72917.msg762749#msg762749

[JoshK]

I was waiting for the 6th floor to be a floor full of gay men.

[macrojack]

Right Josh -

Gay men who have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak.

[JoshK]

Bill Clinton in usual form.