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A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer. "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?" "So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes." "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!" "Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Not everybody pays."
How many audiophiles does it takes to change a light-bulb?-One to tell all the others that they should be using HIS light bulb, which blows away all the competition. Worth fifteen times the price he paid, the light caused him to deposit his jaw somewhere in the room where he first witnessed the light of this amazing bulb. He also requests if anyone should find his jaw that he would be grateful for its prompt return as he hasn’t been able to eat any solid food ever since.-Three to argue about bulb’s placement in the room for maximum light dispersion.-Six to insist that the bulb would render superior light if powered by the Phallic Serpent $2500 power cord.-Two to insist that light bulbs are old technology and introduce distortion into the spectrum of light.-Four to declare that a light bulb is no substitute for “real” light, and to greater appreciate the light the bulb provides one must also go out and absorb as much “real” light as possible.-Three to ask why there are so many used light bulbs on the market.-Two to suggest a power regenerator may stabilize the bulb’s output and provide for greater enjoyment of the light eminating from it.-Twelve to argue the chain of hierarchy in delivery of the optimum output of light from the bulb.-One to design a custom stabilizing harness for the bulb, fabricated from polished steel and burled Bubinga wood to assure the bulb will be held in place and be immune to all vibrations…. in great style. Filled with lead shot, of course.-Four to suggest doing several A/B/A comparisons of different bulbs before deciding upon one.-Six to quote the recent bulb shootout in The Absolute Light that declared that Home Depot bulbs are every bit as good as NOS GE bulbs.-Three to decry that it’s all snake oil, and point out that the rest of the bunch are all whackos and the world is coming to an end anyway.
