Joke of the Day

jschwenker · « **Reply #3440 on:** 11 Sep 2025, 01:02 am »

Space could be full of vampires.

But we will never know because telescopes use mirrors.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3441 on:** 14 Sep 2025, 06:23 pm »

My uncle has two dobermans. He named them Rolex and Timex.

They are watchdogs.

I.Greyhound Fan · « **Reply #3442 on:** 14 Sep 2025, 07:02 pm »

Quote from: mix4fix on 14 Sep 2025, 06:23 pm

My uncle has two dobermans. He named them Rolex and Timex.

They are watchdogs.

Love it!

jschwenker · « **Reply #3443 on:** 22 Sep 2025, 08:59 pm »

What came first

- the chicken or the egg?

Actually, it was the rooster.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3444 on:** 25 Sep 2025, 05:53 am »

Have you heard about the the new streaming service in Russia?

It's called Nyet-Flix.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3445 on:** 26 Sep 2025, 05:58 pm »

Cop pulls over a vehicle. He asks, "have you been drinking?".

The man in the passenger seat replies, "three whiskeys, and two beers.".

The cop chuckles and responds, "that's no reason to let your wife drive.".

jschwenker · « **Reply #3446 on:** 27 Sep 2025, 04:48 pm »

Friend: What was that noise?
Me: My shirt fell.
Friend: It sounded louder than that!
Me: I was in it.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3447 on:** 30 Sep 2025, 04:49 am »

10 years ago my friend went camping at Yellowstone and his wife got pregnant.

2 years later he again went Yellowstone camping and again she got pregnant.

After that, he took his wife along for camping.

mix4fix · « **Reply #3448 on:** 2 Oct 2025, 03:39 am »

Kids in backseat may cause accident.

Accident in backseat may cause kids.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3449 on:** 6 Oct 2025, 02:41 pm »

I have a pet tree.

It’s a lot like having a dog

- but the bark is much quieter.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3450 on:** 15 Oct 2025, 11:55 pm »

Got called into a meeting with HR today.

Because apparently telling your coworker that you knew he was a C-section baby by the way he avoids labor,

is not acceptable.

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3451 on:** 16 Oct 2025, 11:47 am »

A guy in our town was just busted for selling drugs. And what's shocking is that he's a dentist.
I've been going to him for the past eight years and not once would I have ever suspected that he was a dentist.

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3452 on:** 16 Oct 2025, 09:49 pm »

A nun is taking a bath when she hears a knock on the door.
A little worried she says, "Who is it it?"
"It's the blind man" he answers.
She says, "Oh well, I guess come on in".
The man comes in, "Nice tits, where do you want the blinds?"

jschwenker · « **Reply #3453 on:** 20 Oct 2025, 02:34 pm »

My Visa was initially declined at the sweater store.

So the cashier had to ask for my cardigan.

jschwenker · « **Reply #3454 on:** 25 Oct 2025, 01:00 am »

Apparently, the clocks go back in November.

I can’t even remember where I bought mine from.

Zuman · « **Reply #3455 on:** 25 Oct 2025, 01:50 am »

Where do you go to weigh a pie?
Somewhere over the rainbow...weigh a pie!

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3456 on:** 27 Oct 2025, 02:23 am »

I grilled a chicken for two hours.

He still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road.

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3457 on:** 27 Oct 2025, 02:31 am »

I named my horse Mayo

Sometimes Mayo Neighs

Letitroll98 · « **Reply #3458 on:** 27 Oct 2025, 02:33 am »

A burglar broke in and stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot.

I don't know how they sleep at night.

Zuman · « **Reply #3459 on:** 27 Oct 2025, 01:31 pm »

Quote from: Letitroll98 on 27 Oct 2025, 02:23 am

I grilled a chicken for two hours.

He still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the skunk that it was, in fact, possible...