Help I'm Married!!

Bigfish · « **Reply #20 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 12:27 am »

Since you are married you already know that when you want new gear you will have to take your lumps! I wish there was a way around it but I have not been able to find one and doubt one exists!

Ken

orthobiz · « **Reply #21 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 12:28 am »

Another trick is my eBay account. It's a separate, sacrificial account that's just for eBay, mine alone. So as long as you sell stuff to fund the account, you can use your bank account credit card to buy whatever you want. Every once in a while a little refund or rebate check finds its way into it.

Another trick is to do a horizontal upgrade, like an AVA T7 preamp to an Ultra preamp. Only the most discerning eye would ever see the difference. Doesn't work if you're moving from bookshelf speakers to floorstanders.

And playing dumb like a fox can help. Once I bought new Coda cranks for my Cannondale. When my wife asked if I had bought new pedals, I could honestly say, "why no, dear."

Am I gonna fry in hell?

Paul

veloceleste · « **Reply #22 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 01:40 am »

Three things needed to collect anything.
1. Money
2. Space
3. The ability to sneak it past your spouse.
Number three is critical!
Fortunately for me my wife just stopped asking. And my father-in-law used to say in my defense "At least he's not down at the tappy."

mfsoa · « **Reply #23 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 01:50 am »

We put $500/month into what I refer to as my "Audio Slush Fund" - And every month we need to break into it to pay some bill/vet/auto repair you name it... So the fund stays close to broke but we have fun poking each other about it "Hmmm, there must be thousands in there now..." Not.

-Mike

Doublej · « **Reply #24 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 02:12 am »

Audio gear is very finicky and breaks quite often

If necessary I count aloud the cost of her haircuts, facials, nails, makeup, clothes, etc. and compare it to my monthly spending on these categories and silence quickly returns to the household.

timind · « **Reply #25 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 02:21 am »

Trips to the beauty salon? Those are expensive.

Paypal, my wife has no idea what kind of funds are there so I can buy whatever paypal can afford. It's those damn boxes waiting on the front porch (she usually gets home before me).
Oh yeah, my wife doesn't seem to notice when a piece of equipment is swapped in. Well she did kind of notice the Eminent Technology LFT-8s.

arthurs · « **Reply #26 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 02:26 am »

I have gone with straight up honesty since day one...sure, I had to endure many "what is the point of all this and why does it cost so much" discussions in the early days...but she started to understand what the hobby means to me in terms of joy and fulfillment and she eventually adjusted to the idea and expense, just as I have with some of her "stuff"...adapt and endure buddy, that's my best advice...

woodsyi · « **Reply #27 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 01:07 pm »

Be honest, but don't tell all the truth.

My wife and I keep separate checking accounts. We allocate who is accountable for what on annual budget and leave discretionary budget for each. This way we can surprise each other with treats. Of course, I treat myself here and there as well.

daffy · « **Reply #28 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 01:53 pm »

[bad mode on] remove a fuse and say it's broken, you need something new and despite it's broken you got a great trade in deal you can't refuse [bad mode off]

Daffy

DARTH AUDIO · « **Reply #29 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 02:13 pm »

The two D's!! Divorce & Date!! Buy any audio equipment you want and you'll have more sex than your married friends!! And no-one tells me what to do.. Life is good!! aa

predrag · « **Reply #30 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 07:21 pm »

Hello you all! I am Predrag's wife. I got a good laugh reading all your posts here and took liberty to give you some advice from my (our experience). I was a tough cookie at first while Predrag was still shopping for his ''toys''. However, when he actually did spend a fortune and bought everything one could ever possibly want from a perfect system, I was quite honored that he brought home what I initially recognized to be the best combo of speakers and hi-gi gear. Now, few days ago when he honestly, like a little boy scared to admit a bad grade report, came to me and told me about his f*** UPGRADE, I decided not to act immediately. Later that night, ''in the privacy of our own bedroom'', I kindly ask him to accompany me to a diamonds store, and he wholeheartedly AGREED!!!! When he asked how much will that trip short him, I quoted a little smaller amount than what his upgrade costed. Guys, I am so happy and look forward to more upgrades for many years to come...mutually beneficial ones, of course.

That's all from me. Wish you all the best and when you spend on yourselves, keep your better half in mind as well and she will be happy with you. Cheers!

Grumpy_Git · « **Reply #31 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 07:29 pm »

I just tell my fiancee (7 years together) that I want it, have the money and am getting it, or she just sees that it has arrived.

However, I own the flat and pay the majority of the bills so frankly what I do with my spare cash is my concern, i buy with the cc but never with cash i dont have in the bank.

Audio is my thing and in her words "you geek, I love you" she appreciates the 90" screen and subwoofer though!

Nick.

daffy · « **Reply #32 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 08:25 pm »

Quote from: predrag on 5 Jan 2009, 07:21 pm

Hello you all! I am Predrag's wife. I got a good laugh reading all your posts here and took liberty to give you some advice from my (our experience). I was a tough cookie at first while Predrag was still shopping for his ''toys''. However, when he actually did spend a fortune and bought everything one could ever possibly want from a perfect system, I was quite honored that he brought home what I initially recognized to be the best combo of speakers and hi-gi gear. Now, few days ago when he honestly, like a little boy scared to admit a bad grade report, came to me and told me about his f*** UPGRADE, I decided not to act immediately. Later that night, ''in the privacy of our own bedroom'', I kindly ask him to accompany me to a diamonds store, and he wholeheartedly AGREED!!!! When he asked how much will that trip short him, I quoted a little smaller amount than what his upgrade costed. Guys, I am so happy and look forward to more upgrades for many years to come...mutually beneficial ones, of course. That's all from me. Wish you all the best and when you spend on yourselves, keep your better half in mind as well and she will be happy with you. Cheers!

Mmmm does that also work the other way around ???

Because then i,m WAAAAYYYY behind with my upgrade schedule.

Let's see Pmc ob1 maybe, Kef Muon or.....

Daffy

BobM · « **Reply #33 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 08:51 pm »

When you get a new piece of jewelry do you seel or trade in the old one? When we buy a new piece of equipment there is usually something else going out the door that helps offset the cost. Well, not necessarily at the same time and maybe not for a while until we feel comfortable that the new purchase is working out as intended. Then again, maybe we save it for the second system in the back room or the bedroom, but that is reuse that would normally cost more if we bought it new, so does that count (probably not, damn)?

Oh well, the best course is honesty. We all have our hobbies and their respective costs and obcessive compulsive behavior. If youre spouse won't let you play once in a while then perhaps there's more to question than just where the money went. Marriage is a give and take proposition, as long as it goes both ways.

Bob

pardales · « **Reply #34 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:00 pm »

Quote from: woodsyi on 5 Jan 2009, 01:07 pm

Be honest, but don't tell all the truth.

Works for me too.

Seriously though, I am trusted to not buy new speakers instead of paying the bills and I stick to this. The overall cost of my system has come down over the years and I am fine with that. This and trying to include her more in evaluating gear has helped a lot. She has as good of, if not better, hearing than me.

If I looked at how much I have honestly spent on this hobby over the last 13 years that I have been involved in it, and I mean everything, including money I have lost on gear I have bought and sold and shipping expenses (and the like), it probably adds up to $5k ($385 per year). I don't feel too badly about that; there are much more expensive/destructive hobbies out there, and this one can be shared with family and friends.

markC · « **Reply #35 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:17 pm »

$5K in 13 yrs? It's your fault the economy is soft!

You don't even qualify for an audio illness let alone an addiction. Seriosly though, that's pretty frugal if your happy with your setup.
I do try not to spend beond my means - however tempting it may be. The worst I have done is by an amplifier, (when I already had 2), on credit, (this was some years ago). I paid it off in 6 months. BUT - I didn't lie to the wife about it.

James Tanner · « **Reply #36 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:25 pm »

Gee's 5K will buy you a pretty decent cartridge!

james

Phil · « **Reply #37 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:28 pm »

Like Mrs. Predrag and others stated, it is a two-way street, as it should be. I support my wife's hobbies and she lives with mine, literally.

We have always shopped together for speakers. We both have to live with them. I always review my major equipment purchases with her before I make them. Sure, she is looking at the price but also the way it looks. She often likes stuff I can't afford

- I hate when that happens!

Ah, this audionervosa is a strange disease.

Phil

pardales · « **Reply #38 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:34 pm »

Quote from: James Tanner on 5 Jan 2009, 09:25 pm

Gee's 5K will buy you a pretty decent cartridge!

james

Quote from: markC on 5 Jan 2009, 09:17 pm

$5K in 13 yrs? It's your fault the economy is soft!
You don't even qualify for an audio illness let alone an addiction. Seriosly though, that's pretty frugal if your happy with your setup.
I do try not to spend beond my means - however tempting it may be. The worst I have done is by an amplifier, (when I already had 2), on credit, (this was some years ago). I paid it off in 6 months. BUT - I didn't lie to the wife about it.

Your making me feel better already....maybe I need to spend some more money aa

CSI · « **Reply #39 on:** 5 Jan 2009, 09:38 pm »

Make a note of all the techniques listed in this string that involve deception, subterfuge and outright lying to your spouse. Then use the information to blackmail the AC members who posted them. That should fund your hobby for years without spending a dime of your own money!