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Joke of the day

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lonewolfny42

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #140 on: 21 Sep 2008, 11:08 pm »
Seems there's a sign for everything..... :lol:

Watch where your walking.....




And how you spend your money.....




And what your viewing.....




And your bathroom habits....




And where you work.....




And....the best way to lead your life..... :thumb:

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ted_b

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #141 on: 21 Sep 2008, 11:09 pm »
Quote from: Imperial on 21 Sep 2008, 11:07 pm
Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on  8 Sep 2008, 06:05 pm
BLOND JOKES:

TRIVIAL PURSUIT
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'


Ok. This one is "on" me.

I didn't get that one...  :scratch:

Hehehe.....

Really, can someone explain it?



"In a vacuum" was s supposed to refer to outer space...the blonde assumed it meant inside a vaccuum cleaner.
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ted_b

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #142 on: 21 Sep 2008, 11:11 pm »
Quote from: macrojack on 12 Sep 2008, 11:40 pm
Peter King picked the Broncos to beat the Chargers this Sunday. Could turn out to be joke of the month.

Nope..not nearly........but my Browns are!!   :cry: :cry:
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JerryM

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #143 on: 21 Sep 2008, 11:15 pm »
Quote from: ted_b on 21 Sep 2008, 11:09 pm
Quote from: Imperial on 21 Sep 2008, 11:07 pm
Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on  8 Sep 2008, 06:05 pm
BLOND JOKES:

TRIVIAL PURSUIT
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'


Ok. This one is "on" me.

I didn't get that one...  :scratch:

Hehehe.....

Really, can someone explain it?



"In a vacuum" was s supposed to refer to outer space...the blonde assumed it meant inside a vaccuum cleaner.

 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Imperial; please, please tell me that you're not blonde...   :rotflmao:

Too funny,
Jerry
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ted_b

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #144 on: 21 Sep 2008, 11:22 pm »
Quote from: JerryM on 21 Sep 2008, 11:15 pm
Quote from: ted_b on 21 Sep 2008, 11:09 pm
Quote from: Imperial on 21 Sep 2008, 11:07 pm
Quote from: Bob in St. Louis on  8 Sep 2008, 06:05 pm
BLOND JOKES:

TRIVIAL PURSUIT
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'


Ok. This one is "on" me.

I didn't get that one...  :scratch:

Hehehe.....

Really, can someone explain it?



"In a vacuum" was s supposed to refer to outer space...the blonde assumed it meant inside a vaccuum cleaner.

 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Imperial; please, please tell me that you're not blonde...   :rotflmao:

Too funny,
Jerry

 :D  ironic really, cuz vacuum is in his signature.  I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that household vacuum cleaners are called something else in Norway and he never heard it called simply "a vacuum".  But yes, we now know that our beloved Imperial is at least part blonde.   :D
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Imperial

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #145 on: 21 Sep 2008, 11:36 pm »
Yeah... if one should translate vacuum cleaner it would be the words "dust sucker" actually..
Now the norwegian word "dust" ACTUALLY means "sucker" so vacuum cleaner can be written "Sucker sucker..."

And, like I'm blonde.. and a tube lover (vacuum tubes..)

Imperial

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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #146 on: 22 Sep 2008, 12:15 am »



 
« Last Edit: 27 Sep 2008, 06:42 pm by aragon63 »
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Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #147 on: 22 Sep 2008, 03:15 pm »
NOT MY JOB..............

 
 
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #148 on: 22 Sep 2008, 05:16 pm »
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Imperial

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #149 on: 23 Sep 2008, 02:21 pm »
This man was digging, and a passer by asks: Are you getting a hole there?
The man looks at him, shakes his head saying: No, I'm digging the dirt, leaving a hole..

Oh I had no idea you could leave a hole! Again the man shakes his head and says:
- Actually, it's the dirt that had to leave the hole, not the other way around, like you don't get this...as a whole do you?

The passer by looks befumbled down at his feet, then up again and says: Not a whole lotta nothin' ... he was speechless!  :thumb:


Oxymoronically speaking, of course..  :wink:

Imperial



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Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #150 on: 23 Sep 2008, 05:00 pm »
Doctor John had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: 'John, don't worry about it.
You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their patients and you won't be the last.
And you're single. Just let it go, John.'
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering, 'John you're a Veterinarian, you sick bastard.'
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Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #151 on: 3 Oct 2008, 05:11 pm »
Hey,
I'm setting up a Haunted House for Halloween and am in need of ugly people to work in it.
How much do you charge?

 :lol:
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #152 on: 3 Oct 2008, 05:56 pm »
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« Last Edit: 15 Oct 2015, 10:09 pm by aragon63 »
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #153 on: 3 Oct 2008, 06:13 pm »
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« Last Edit: 15 Oct 2015, 10:09 pm by aragon63 »
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Bob in St. Louis

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #154 on: 4 Oct 2008, 07:17 pm »
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.  'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'  'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'  The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.  The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!'  The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'  Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'  The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa; The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #155 on: 7 Oct 2008, 11:49 pm »
 ----
« Last Edit: 21 Oct 2008, 10:37 pm by aragon63 »
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #156 on: 7 Oct 2008, 11:53 pm »
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« Last Edit: 15 Oct 2015, 10:09 pm by aragon63 »
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #157 on: 7 Oct 2008, 11:59 pm »
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« Last Edit: 15 Oct 2015, 10:10 pm by aragon63 »
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #158 on: 8 Oct 2008, 12:09 am »
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« Last Edit: 15 Oct 2015, 10:10 pm by aragon63 »
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aragon63

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #159 on: 8 Oct 2008, 12:20 am »
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« Last Edit: 15 Oct 2015, 10:10 pm by aragon63 »
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