Are the Def's perfect? Of course not. They don't bring the band into my room. But, it's surprising how close they come, especially with the newly arrived Small Tubes. Aside - the 'small' 45's are pretty big!
I really wish you all the best. I have been through the many-speaker process. It isn't very fun, takes a long time, and if I did it all again, I would have made more of a point to hear instead of reading.
Case in point - A couple of years I got the Gallo Ref. 3's. I mated them to a PS Audio HCA-2. Reading all the awards from professional reviewers, who could possibly go wrong with this combo? I also had a Modwright pre and CDP, for different reasons. I thought it was a very good sound and I was happy with it, I guess.
Then I found AC because of all the talk about the Clari-T. I decided I had to try one but had no speakers for it. So, I built the Fostexes, heard them, and put the Gallos up for sale immediately. This personal experience told me I was running the wrong direction and that a change of course was needed. I've been following that Way since then, and it's taken a while to make the smaller corrections but I'm feeling the end of hand-wringing and wondering is near.
I'll still be interested in new gear and my passion for the equipment as well as the music will not go away, but the doubt of what is missing will soon become a curiosity instead of a neurosis.
I've been there, forever it seems. I didn't get through it the cheapest or most efficient way. Yes it was fun, and new gear is cool, but it's a bad investment generally and it's like pinning Jello to a wall trying to figure out where to go and how to get there.
Yet, this is the Biggest Question of Audiophilia for most. Why? Most listeners do not know what they really want. Sure, they'll be able to tell you with words, but within their own minds they don't understand what that all means within their own ear/brain interface. If you don't believe me, check Agon any day of the year and see how many CDP's/amps/speakers/whatever are being sold. Every single piece was bought new at some point.
I don't mean everyone, and I'm as guilty as anyone. If you're a music lover first and an audiophile second, you're lucky. If you're both in equal doses or, *gasp* a gearhead first, listening to as much as you can will save untold time, lost $$, and stress of the magic you're missing.