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Easy.... keep the HT and music separate. I use the GK-1 and AKSA 55N+ (which are cheaper than a quality HT amp) with DIY stereo speakers for music and HT has it's own amp and the 6.1 DIY speakers.It comes down to priorities and mine go with music, so the funds and quality go there with HT being secondary. I bought the cheapest Yamaha receiver (RXV440... great on movies BTW) and designed speakers for HT use as you only need to produce dialogue, some atmosphere, bangs and thumps and does not have the dema ...
I would do the upgrade in stages so the dollars are spread over a long period and that way the other half won't notice as much.As you add a component you can say "That's been here for ages... don't you remember...."