[Russell Dawkins]

Hi Nathan,
I've got to tell you I'm THRILLED with my 'rocks®. If you remember, I ordered a matched pair. At first thought that I had wasted more hard-earned money as, to be honest, I couldn't hear a night-and-day difference with one placed carefully on each speaker. Patience paid off, though, as very late one night, after some carefully administered recreational inhalants, everything - soundstage, tonality, micro and macro-dynamics - just SNAPPED into focus!
After I picked myself up and wiped off my chin, I decided to try an experiment as, not having TV I need something visual to go along with the music. I suggest you try this - it really works. I lay the speakers on their backs, woofers facing up and carefully placed one Sonicrock® in the centre of each woofer. I then played the cannon shot part of the 1812 Overture and the 'rocks® shot up about one foot! By adjusting the setup I was even able to get them to return to the woofer (a whizzer cone would probably have helped). Maximum height I was able to attain with 600WRMS on tap per side and clipping slightly, 95dB efficient speakers (Wilson Alexandrias, using the 15" woofer) was around 8 feet. Could this be a record?
The speakers sound good on their backs, by the way (I'm sure you were wondering). Imaging isn't quite as precise, but there is a little less "there" there, which is mostly an improvement. The 'rock® show is excellent, though.
I'd like to order a second pair for the 13" woofers in the Alexandrias. Do you offer them factory burned in?
Anxiously awaiting your reply.
Russell

[hmen]

CONSUMER ALERT !!!!!

Imitation Sonicrocks® are now being manufactured in China and distributed in the U.S. by guys driving white vans. When you purchase a Sonicrock® make sure it's from an authorized Sonicrock® dealer. Otherwise, the non-existant warranty will not apply.

[kfr01]

Are there any measurements of the effect of the sonicrocks?

Do you have any tips for the best placement of the sonicrocks?

[Dan Banquer]

Measurements? We don't need no stinking measurements! We use our ears because our ears are so much more refined than those stinking measurements!
BTW: the best placement is perpindicular to earths magnetic field on every third Tuesday, all other days use directly in line with the South Pole.
PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE SONICROCKS!
                    d.b.

[kfr01]

I am a believer!  You are right!  No amount of measurements can explain the wonder of the IC, er sonicrocks.  Measurements, and anyone that would use them, aren't worthy of the sonicrock.  I repent!

[ScottMayo]

Are there any measurements of the effect of the sonicrocks?

Measurements? Well, here's yet another DOUBTING OBJECTIVIST. Instead of asking for numbers - numbers can't hear music, you know - just ask the thousands of satisfied customers!

Remember, any time a company can airily allude to happy customers, which might or might not exist (t's a matter of belief, like Sonicrocks themselves), you know the item in question is made of all REAL ingredients!

Do you have any tips for the best placement of the sonicrocks?

The manufacturer encourages experimentation. I, on the other hand, could tell you objectivists exactly where to put them.    

---
Sonicrock - It works because it does work!

[nathanm]

Do Sonicrocks come in a cryoed version?

No, at this time we feel that the cryogenic freezing process is inadequate for Sonicrocks®.  Our testing indicated little to no improvement considering how inexpensive the process is.  Instead we are testing an approach where a batch of Sonicrocks are kept in Deep Room Temperature for a period of 4 days and slowly brought up to Somewhat Chilly.  This process is performed in a very expensive room with many priceless artifacts and knick knacks and consequently the owner charges us a LOT of money for this service.  Testing is ongoing...

Can Sonicrocks intercept missles in their booster stage like Brilliant Pebbles?

No.  Testing for this feature would cost more and take time, but since we are always looking for new ways to pass that cost along to the consumer, we may consider it.

Patience paid off, though, as very late one night, after some carefully administered recreational inhalants, everything - soundstage, tonality, micro and macro-dynamics - just SNAPPED into focus!

THAT is the power of sheer will!  The Sonicrock® made it all possible!  Wouldn't you love hear what Russell knows!? Only $49.99 people, come on now!  Can I get an amen?

Are there any measurements of the effect of the sonicrocks?

Yes!  Customers are encouraged to get a yellow legal pad and write down their impressions of what they hear.  Scan this page into a computer, make a PDF file and send it to Elemental Voice so we can post it on the website!  That's proof positive that Sonicrock® works! Microsoft Excel also allows you to create colorful pie charts and graphs showing the amount of pleasure received from Sonicrocks®!.  Use these to your advantage!  The human ear is far more sensitive to the effects of Sonicrocks® than dogs or even bats, much less some bizarre electronic contraption with fancy dials and wiggly lines. It works because it does work!  How can you measure the look in a child's eye when he first hears his favorite song reproduced with breathtaking clarity?  How can you measure the love radiating from your spouse when they realize what a wise investment you've made? You just can't!  All you need to know is that  Sonicrock® gives you a whole lot, and more!

[eric the red]

Does Sonicrock plan to offer the Clever Little Crock anytime in the near future?
http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina41.htm

[lonewolfny42]

CONSUMER ALERT !!!!!

Imitation Sonicrocks® are now being manufactured in China and distributed in the U.S. by guys driving white vans. When you purchase a Sonicrock® make sure it's from an authorized Sonicrock® dealer. Otherwise, the non-existant warranty will not apply.

Yes....and watch out for copy cat names......

[skrivis]

Does Sonicrock plan to offer the Clever Little Crock anytime in the near future?
http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina41.htm

I've actually got this already covered. There's no need for an expensive extra Crock Clock. I am modding wristwatches so they perform the same function as the CLC. PM me for pricing. You just send me your watch, I painstakingly mod it, then send it back. I call them "GooberMods."

[skrivis]

Does Sonicrock plan to offer the Clever Little Crock anytime in the near future?
http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina41.htm

I've actually got this already covered. There's no need for an expensive extra Crock Clock. I am modding wristwatches so they perform the same function as the CLC. PM me for pricing. You just send me your watch, I painstakingly mod it, then send it back. I call them "GooberMods."

I forgot to mention that I also have BuddhaMods where I replace all caps in your watch with BlackGate caps. It doesn't look quite as good since the added caps are 10 times the size of the circuit board in the watch, but you will reach Nirvana with this mod. I can also rewire your watch with UltraMegaSuperFineCrystal silver wire. Customers just say "Wow!" after hearing the results.

[skrivis]

CONSUMER ALERT !!!!!

Imitation Sonicrocks® are now being manufactured in China and distributed in the U.S. by guys driving white vans. When you purchase a Sonicrock® make sure it's from an authorized Sonicrock® dealer. Otherwise, the non-existant warranty will not apply.

Yes....and watch out for copy cat names......

I now have a companion product - SonicBlocks. I carefully sort and select wooden alphabet blocks and then modify them for superior results in your audio system. They're organic, so they provide a much-needed buffer between the Sonicrocks and your ears. A pair of "A's" are $1000, "B's" are $900. (Class A is better than B, although I am experimenting with a Class AB block combo... I'm also working on a Class D model.)

[Gordy]

CONSUMER ALERT !!!!!

Imitation Sonicrocks® are now being manufactured in China and distributed in the U.S. by guys driving white vans. When you purchase a Sonicrock® make sure it's from an authorized Sonicrock® dealer. Otherwise, the non-existant warranty will not apply.

Yes....and watch out for copy cat names......

A monsterous turn of events!  Apparently they have used the Tesseract Modification to travel back in time and use the name first!  However, just being first doesn't give you the right... sue! Sue! SUE!

[Dan Banquer]

"I now have a companion product - SonicBlocks. I carefully sort and select wooden alphabet blocks and then modify them for superior results in your audio system. They're organic, so they provide a much-needed buffer between the Sonicrocks and your ears. A pair of "A's" are $1000, "B's" are $900. (Class A is better than B, although I am experimenting with a Class AB block combo... I'm also working on a Class D model.)"

Shameless imitator!
Stealing your kids building blocks to make audiophile products! What's next; the poor kids pacifier!          
PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE SONICROCKS!
                d.b.

[skrivis]

"I now have a companion product - SonicBlocks. I carefully sort and select wooden alphabet blocks and then modify them for superior results in your audio system. They're organic, so they provide a much-needed buffer between the Sonicrocks and your ears. A pair of "A's" are $1000, "B's" are $900. (Class A is better than B, although I am experimenting with a Class AB block combo... I'm also working on a Class D model.)"

Shameless imitator!
Stealing your kids building blocks to make audiophile products!  ...

Imitator? Not true, not true.

I am offering a companion product. It only works when used in parallel with true Sonicrocks.

I just found that Sonicrocks are too hard and give me a slight headache. The SonicBlocks ameliorate that effect and give me audio perfection.

All SonicBlocks are new and not manufactured from used blocks. (I don't even have any kids, you can call home and ask my wife.) (Apologies to CDB.)

[skrivis]

"I now have a companion product - SonicBlocks. I carefully sort and select wooden alphabet blocks and then modify them for superior results in your audio system. They're organic, so they provide a much-needed buffer between the Sonicrocks and your ears. A pair of "A's" are $1000, "B's" are $900. (Class A is better than B, although I am experimenting with a Class AB block combo... I'm also working on a Class D model.)"

Shameless imitator!
Stealing your kids building blocks to make audiophile products!  ...

I wonder if pacifiers would make good earplugs?

[ScottMayo]

I wonder if pacifiers would make good earplugs?

Excellent ear plugs. Inject them with water, insert one in each ear, nostril and mouth, and any other acoustically active orifices you might sport, and they are guaranteed to remove "digital harshness" from any sonic experience. And this technique can be applied when listening to live concerts in acoustically imperfect halls and arenas.

In fact, I absolutely can't recommend it enough, that people show up at rock concerts with a full set of "digital pacificers" already inserted. When Concert Security asks, just tell them "the show sounds so much better this way!" and they'll be very understanding.

[konut]

This just in. Dateline Ft. Lauderdale FL. Speaking on condition of anonymity in deep backround by a highly placed unamed source, James Randi, aka The Amazing Randi, famed magician and psychic debunker has retained the noted lawfirm of Satz, Suedo, and Acebo to investigate legal recourse against the owners of the Sonicrocks®.  
        Quoting Mr. Ernest Richard Satz " Mr. Randi brought this suspect product to our attention". Mr. Paul Suedo was then dispatched to conduct a thourogh investigation. Upon completion of this, Philip Louis Acebo examined the results to see if any actual laws had been broken. " We were dumbfounded. It turns out theres nothing there" said Mr.P.L.Acebo. Both Mr. E.R. Satz and Mr. P. Suedo have since purchased the product and are thrilled with the results! Mr. Randi was not available for comment.

[woodsyi]

Imitator? Not true, not true.

I am offering a companion product. It only works when used in parallel with true Sonicrocks.

I just found that Sonicrocks are too hard and give me a slight headache. The SonicBlocks ameliorate that effect and give me audio perfection.

All SonicBlocks are new and not manufactured from used blocks. (I don't even have any kids, you can call home and ask my wife.) (Apologies to CDB.)

Don't forget to upgrade to cryoed Gabonese Ebony.

[skrivis]

I now have a companion product - SonicBlocks. I carefully sort and select wooden alphabet blocks and then modify them for superior results in your audio system. They're organic, so they provide a much-needed buffer between the Sonicrocks and your ears. A pair of "A's" are $1000, "B's" are $900. (Class A is better than B, although I am experimenting with a Class AB block combo... I'm also working on a Class D model.)

More exciting news -

It appears that noted tweak proponent CJ has an entire set of SonicBlocks and uses them daily.

It's an honor to have my product used by someone with such discerning ears.