Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!

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nathanm

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« on: 14 Nov 2005, 10:35 pm »

ctviggen

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Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #1 on: 14 Nov 2005, 10:57 pm »
You want to replace those c in circle things with r in circle things.  The c circle stands for copyright, which cannot protect a phrase (the function of trademark, which is the r in a circle).

warnerwh

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #2 on: 14 Nov 2005, 10:58 pm »
This is a great new product. Are you taking any new investors? I was thinking I could give you 10 million operating capital and we could split the profit for the next three years.  I'd like to put one of these on my dvd player as it's a piece of shit but with this rock I think it would be like HD tv. If you're not interested in a business  partner and sharing the wealth please send me prices on 2,000, 5,000 and 10,000 sonic rocks. Thanks

konut

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Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #3 on: 15 Nov 2005, 01:58 am »
Thats not sonic rock, its soni crock.   :nono:    :mrgreen:

ohenry

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #4 on: 15 Nov 2005, 03:24 am »
When I saw the post header, I thought it was an ad for a new Creed album. :P

ScottMayo

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A testymoanial
« Reply #5 on: 15 Nov 2005, 03:35 am »
I just felt I had to write and tell you how wonderfil your product is. Yes, I was skeptical at first, but after Stereofile said even they wouldn't review it, I knew it was the work of the secret audio masters, and I had to have one! And am I glad!

You might not believe this, but when I put it on the CD player, wonderful things happened. First, I got a chain letter and actually passed along all 7 copies! Next, I found a penny on the street and - and this is what proved it for me - I finally got a refund credit on my returned Intelligent Chip! So this is definitely the tweak for me.

And now my high C's are higher, my low A's are lower, and I haven't even had to turn the CD player on! I'm saving power AND THE CLARITY IS AMAZING! And the best part is - none of my friends can hear anything! So that proves I have better ears! I'm now a golden ear and THEY AREN'T. And it's all because of the soni-crock! Thank you, EV!

My friend says that if I put it in a silver pyramid it will help all the CD players in my house at once. But my other friend (I have, like, 2) says that the extra quantum flux might blow up the house. So we want to know what you think, because, blowing up my house is bad.

Thanks again 4 your amazing product! I'm going to buy two more and get TWICE as much affect as anyone else!

Yor best custmer, TweakedBrains

_scotty_

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #6 on: 15 Nov 2005, 12:37 pm »
Scott, put the Sonicrock inside a tesseract made from pipe cleaners and it will upgrade your entire stereo without the danger of quantum flux overload. You will finally be able the hear the effect of other tweeks you were so ready to dismiss like powercords,IC's and speaker cable without replacing  the rest of your midfi equipement. Through the time travel now possible with the tesseract modification of the Sonicrock effect you will be able to listen to music that has not been recorded yet by bands that don't currently exist. This tweek has not yet been endorsed by the makers of the sonicrock and may void your warranty. Extradimensional travel while possible with this tweek is not recommended unless you have done it before in a past life and remember how to get back home. YMATMV
Scotty

skrivis

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Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #7 on: 15 Nov 2005, 01:07 pm »
Where's the Soni Crock Pro version?

Gordy


Dan Banquer

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Sonic Rock
« Reply #9 on: 15 Nov 2005, 02:37 pm »
Does this come in different colors? I want one to match the decor in my listening room.
BTW: Can I get one of these things carved into a statue of a monk giving me the finger?
                   d.b.

ScottMayo

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Re: Sonic Rock
« Reply #10 on: 15 Nov 2005, 02:44 pm »
Quote from: Dan Banquer
Does this come in different colors? I want one to match the decor in my listening room.
BTW: Can I get one of these things carved into a statue of a monk giving me the finger?
                   d.b.


Not necessary! Products like this give you all the finger you need!

kfr01

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #11 on: 15 Nov 2005, 03:27 pm »
I have personally listened to a sonicrock treated system.  

At first I was a disbeliever.  

Then I tried it and my world was changed.  Everything was much more analogue!  It was the same type of analogue-inducing, digital-veil-lifting, haze-reducing miracle that I witnessed when I bought my creamy-deluxe-analogue power cable.

All my friends think so too!  

How does it work?  Who cares?  Just buy it and take a listen!

Don't be a judging hater!

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

skrivis

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Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #12 on: 15 Nov 2005, 04:09 pm »
Quote from: kfr01
I have personally listened to a sonicrock treated system.  

At first I was a disbeliever.  

Then I tried it and my world was changed.  Everything was much more analogue!  It was the same type of analogue-inducing, digital-veil-lifting, haze-reducing miracle that I witnessed when I bought my creamy-deluxe-analogue power cable.

All my friends think so too!  

How does it work?  Who cares?  Just buy it and take a listen!

Don't be a judging hater!

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:


For the best effect, I carved my Sonicrock into the shape of a monk giving me the finger, then put a Clever Little Clock into the belly. Wow!!!!! It got even better when I bored an incense holder for aromatherapy.

I do, however, think that tuning the color might be necessary. Brown gives people the blahs. I think white would be far better for the psyche of the average listener.

Are Sonicrocks domestic or imported? Are they best when applied to the head or the feet? Can I use them on neighbors and friends?

Gordy

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #13 on: 15 Nov 2005, 04:14 pm »
Quote from: skrivis
Can I use them on neighbors and friends?


For best effect on neighbors you'll need this adaptor...
http://froogle.google.com/froogle_cluster?btnG=Search+Froogle&hl=en&oid=10472833922017611744&pid=1814333583326700964&q=pocket+rocket+slingshot&scoring=p

nathanm

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #14 on: 15 Nov 2005, 06:43 pm »
Quote from: skrivis
For the best effect, I carved my Sonicrock into the shape of a monk giving me the finger, then put a Clever Little Clock into the belly. Wow!!!!! It got even better when I bored an incense holder for aromatherapy.
Although we cannot guarantee the performance on modified Sonicrocks® we do encourage experimentation in order to achieve the highest performance.

Quote
I do, however, think that tuning the color might be necessary. Brown gives people the blahs. I think white would be far better for the psyche of the average listener.

The Sonicrock® is whatever color you want it to be!  You may see it as brown, but I see it as buttercup yellow.  Remember, it works by the force of sheer will!

Quote
Are Sonicrocks domestic or imported?
Elemental Voice does not believe in imaginary political borders.  All Sonicrocks® are sourced from the mother earth to best serve your audiophile needs in the most natural way possible.  

Quote
Are they best when applied to the head or the feet? Can I use them on neighbors and friends?
Sonicrocks® are not intended for medicinal purposes, unless you believe that music has healing powers, which we do.  We are not responsible for any health risks or injury caused by improper use of the product.  If accidentally swallowed, instruct the victim to believe that the Sonicrock® is porous and thus able to pass air.

Most definitely tell your friends and family about the amazing benefits of Sonicrocks®!  No matter what equipment they may use, the results will be amazing!  We are developing a holder that will allow you to have a Sonicrock® installed on top of your iPod or other portable CD player that will stay in place while jogging.  It will filter out annoying ambient noise such as traffic, wind and approaching muggers leaving you to concentrate fully on the music!

sts9fan

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #15 on: 15 Nov 2005, 07:27 pm »
Using the word QUANTUM is how you know its working  :roll:

Dan Banquer

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Sonicrocks
« Reply #16 on: 15 Nov 2005, 07:37 pm »
Nathan: Can you make a version that will fit on the dashboard of a car? Or can you make one to hang from the rearview mirror?
Let's make those CD's and Ipods sound better while your stuck in traffic. :mrgreen:
              d.b.

kenk

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #17 on: 15 Nov 2005, 07:47 pm »
According to the ad, each rock is unique so the effect is diff (mabye +/- .005db).  Is there a way to get a matched pair?   :?:

ScottMayo

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Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #18 on: 15 Nov 2005, 08:10 pm »
Quote from: kenk
According to the ad, each rock is unique so the effect is diff (mabye +/- .005db).  Is there a way to get a matched pair?   :?:


They detect each other and auto-match. How do they do it? QUANTUM PHYSICS, of course! They use a kind of entangling that you could never understand and won't find described anywhere on the web! That's how advanced they are.

Nathan hasn't admitted this in writing yet, but the rumor's out about the "matrix matched stones" version. They say that for an extra $100, you can get a pair of rocks, ATOMICALLY CUT from the same geode - yielding stones "matched from birth" and perfectly balanced, by powerful volcanic forces. Remember, you heard it from me first!

These stones are said, by the way, to absorb seismic disturbances, which are well known to induce "a thin, digital sound" in many systems, not to mention (in extreme cases) screams of terror. Don't let your system be affected by the vagarities of intrasolar masses - buy a bunch today!

nathanm

Fantastic Faith-Based Sonicrock!
« Reply #19 on: 15 Nov 2005, 08:16 pm »
Matched pairs are available, although our rigorous testing showed that one Sonicrock® per component yielded the best results.  Reversed feedback audionecrosis can occur if two are placed close together on the same component.  This may negatively impact the sound.  We recommend that matched pairs only be used on speakers.  Keep in mind that although the two Sonicrocks® may not look alike, the internal dark matter is identical and matched at the factory.

Dan:  Sonicrocks® are no more than an inch or so in size, so they will fit easily on dashboards.  They also have a rough surface which readily accepts string.  Unfotunately there is little space in car stereo applications to install a Sonicrock® directly on the receiver, but one placed in the drink holder has worked wonders for many of our customers.

I would like to point out that ScottMayo's information may be suspect.  At present there are not enough people who believe he is a dealer for Elemental Voice.  However, if enough people believe he is a dealer and can dispense accurate product information about Sonicrocks® then he will be.  We do however, fully support his charge to "buy a bunch".  This is very sensible advice!