[Baumli]

Dear GAS members,

Well, it happened again. I let something go, and now wish I hadn't.

This isn't quite a piece of audiophile gear. But it decorated my listening room. In the two corners at the front, I had what is called a "Cut-Out Display" on each side. I'm sure you've seen examples of these. They tend to be about lifesize, made of cardboard, constructed so they stand up, and probably the most popular one to be seen is the one of Marilyn Monroe with her dress being blown up by air from the grate beneath her. Well; the two I had were one of Cecilia Bartoli, the soprano, which I didn't like for only one reason: she was wearing a bright red blouse, black slacks, and she just plain looked too severe. I'm not sorry I got rid of that one. The other one was of the violinist Anne Sohie Mutter, playing the violin, and I wish I had it back. I donated them both to a thrift store called ... well, what was it called? Something like The National Council of Jewish Women. I drove to their store years later, thinking they just might have kept it, putting it up as a window display, but no, it wasn't there. They probably decided that kraut bimbo wasn't fitting for their store.

At present, in my listening room, where the two "Cut-Out Displays" used to be are two different ones: Maria Callas (which I intend to keep) and Enya (which I would part with if I could get the Mutter one back). I've been watching on eBay for this "Cut-Out Display" of Mutter for at least two years, and have never seen one. I saw one of Mariah Carey, and a few male bimbos, like James Dean. But never Mutter.

What was wrong with me? What caused me to impulsively let her go? (But come to think of it, I used to do that with girlfriends. Or maybe they did it to me. Yes; that had to be it. I would never have been so ungentlemanly as to dump a dame.)

It occurs to me that maybe someone from GAS went in that shop and picked up both those cardboard gals, and now are keeping them locked away in a back room. If so, I would be interested in taking a female burden off your hands. Or finding a new one. Can anyone help?

Your participation in this lovelorn quest would be most appreciated.

Chastely,

Francis Baumli

[Baumli]

Dear GAS members,

I found a copy of my old donation. Yes; the thrift store was run by The National Council of Jewish Women. At the time, they were located way west of me. Now they are located very near where Best Sound used to be. But the current personnel doesn't have any idea what might have happened to my Mutter. I can't blame them. This was almost 15 years ago that I dumped her off there, along with Bartoli. So I can't go looking for her in that place.

So again, I ask for your help. But no, Dave S., don't go recommending other bimbos of more recent corporeal vintage. You have a penchant for doing that, and one of these days Colleen is going to bestow upon you a well-deserved scowl.

Fortitudinously,

Francis Baumli

[Scott F.]

Jr. Member,

If you can find a picture with enough resolution (megapixels), I've got a color plotter at work. I'd be happy to plot it 'life size' for you. You'd have to take it to somewhere and have them affix it to foam core and crop the squared edges and make a support so it will stand up. That or, if you feel like doing the foam core yourself, it's an easy task. I can show you some tricks for affixing posters to foam core so you don't get wrinkles.

lemmeno

[dflee]

A wrinkled Mutter! Heaven forbid.

[Folsom]

When I was in college we had a Natalie Portman cutout from StarWars, at the end of a hallway with 4 doors. It scared the hell out of everyone for awhile.
 
Once everyone was use to it, I played pranks with it. I would knock on someone's door in the hallway, then run and hide behind Natalie. I did this three times to one kid, who stuck his head out the door and asked who is it, who's messing with him, and he'd look both ways (so, right at me). You might think, ya but you where hidden behind Natalie! Well only 5/6th of me was, I'm about a foot taller than the cutout, so my shoulders and head were clearly showing. Yet I could not be seen... Another kid who's bedroom door was about a foot away didn't notice me until he was about a foot away, and was rather startled.

I highly recommend hiding behind these when they're shorter than you, because if you stay still you're invisible. Lots of fun.

Also a neighbor had Mrs. Doubtfire looking out a curtain, that was amusing. And my mother's Dean Martin made my grandmother scream at Christmas. Cutouts sure are fun, I hope you find the ones you seek.

[Baumli]

Dear folks,

Thank you for the offer! Is there anything you can't do?

I'll keep looking for an original cut-out, and if I don't find it, I may take you up on this.

Jean Haffner has a Garth Brooks cut-out at Record Exchange, but I am definitely not tempted to go that route. I may be lower than a snake's belly, with some of my values, but when it comes to eye candy Garth doesn't cut it for me ... or any female I know.

Thanks again. If I don't find an original, then ... . You are most generous!

Very best,

Francis Baumli

[Bob in St. Louis]

[Baumli]

Dear Bob,

Now that surely can't be a cut-out of Cecilia Bartoli you posted. A photo, yes? And are you suggesting you would like a cut-out of this photo?

Come clean with us. No chastity allowed.

Curiously,

Francis Baumli

[Bob in St. Louis]

She's certainly a beautiful woman, you have good taste, Sir.
Not sure there's room in my home for her and my wife, if you catch my drift.
I'll be content to view from afar.

[Baumli]

Bob in Saint Louis,

Indeed there may not be room in your house for both your wife and a cut-out display of Cecilia Bartoli. With each year, Cecilia becomes more buxom, and I think at this point you would need three cut-out displays to do her justice.

Gravitationally minded,

Francis Baumli

[dcbingaman]

My wife has one of Johnny Depp as Capt. Jack Sparrow.  Not sure I see the attraction, but what do I know about pirate studs ?  Anyway it took me three years to get it out of my HT.

[Baumli]

Dear desperate GAS member,

Puh-leeze, not Johnny Depp! I actually saw him in a movie, and started to watch him in another movie but quit because he couldn't act his way out of a paper bag.

What's his appeal? Do the ladies find him sexy? On the screen, to me he looks, sounds, and acts retarded. (Is that politically incorrect accuracy?)

I suggest you give the cut-out to your local firing range. It should improve people's accuracy.

But thank you anyway.

Francis Baumli

[Bob in St. Louis]

I suggest you give the cut-out to your local firing range. It should improve people's accuracy.

I'll take any unwanted cardboard stand-ups.
Extra points for certain political members, which shall remain nameless in order to maintain proper forum etiquette. 

[dflee]

Abby needs a target now for that 50 cal. Put it on a rope and
run it across the yard for a moving target. Must post video if you do.

[Bob in St. Louis]

My Abbie, or his Abby?

[daves]

Francis, you can wander into a printing shop and ask them to print a nice photo of Anne holding her violin, only have them do it to a five foot something tall scale.

You then have your son buy a panel of either half inch, or one inch close cell pink insulation, and have him paste and then cut the photo/insulation to size. Problem solved.

http://hotgirlsposters.com/images/753161-b.jpg

[dflee]

Abadee Abadee Abadee dats all folks. (sorry for the misspelling).

[dcbingaman]

Holy cats !!  I'd trade Johnny for a life size Anne-Sophie Mutter any day - especially in THAT gown.  She can play and nicely fill out an evening gown. 

BTW, has anyone else subscribed to the Berlin Philharmonic's Digital Concert Hall on the internets ?  had video + 5.1 surround streaming audio.  It's like sitting in the hall.  Way cool, especially with Anne playing for Sir Simon Rattle.