A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment.
Get their parents to tell them a story ending with a moral.
The following day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
They were all the regular kind of stuff -- spilled milk, a penny saved, etc.
But then the teacher realized she had missed Jamie.
"Jamie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes teacher. My daddy told me a story about my mommy.
"She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 with her pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife 'till the blade broke and then killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher. What did your daddy say was the moral of this terrible story?"
"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
