The answer to all of life's problems is to drink heavily, unless your problem is drinking heavily.
Which reminds me of one of my favorite W.C. Fields stories. Sometime during the late 1930's on one of his movie sets, Fields would frequently retire to his umbrella-shaded chair, open a Thermos and loudly announce that he was drinking pineapple juice. He would then extoll the virtues of that juice.
Of course, everyone on the set knew the Thermos was full of gin, and one day the cast and crew dumped the gin while Fields was otherwise occupied and put real juice in the container.
On his next trip to the chair, he took a swig and loudly bellowed "Somebody put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!"
Eric S.