I CAN POST THIS BECAUSE I LIVE HERE...

dflee · « **Reply #1 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 12:40 am »

Kinda goes without sayin, don't it!

Eric Strasen · « **Reply #2 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 01:05 am »

Quote from: dflee on 8 Dec 2013, 12:40 am

Kinda goes without sayin, don't it!

Yup. Although for all the Eastern tenderfeet out there, an explanation might be in order. An "open range" sign on a highway means there is no fence separating cattle -- the dumbest of all domestic animals -- from the front end of your car when the cows decide the road would be a good place to stand and listen to your frantically blowing horn as you close in at 65 MPH. Of course, it COULD mean there is a stove with an open door on the berm. You will see more abandoned appliances on the edges of Wyoming roads than you might imagine, meaning the landfill was closed and the owner wasn't going to haul that junk back home. Or that the nearest landfill is 70 miles down the road and the pickup truck driver was running out of beer.

Devil Doc · « **Reply #3 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 01:11 am »

Flatlander! Everyone here back East knows the dumbest of domestic animals is the chicken. Like my granddaddy used to say, "There's nothing dumber than a cow, unlesen it's a chicken". Oh and by the way, all cows are cattle, not all cattle are cows.

Doc

Eric Strasen · « **Reply #4 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 01:24 am »

Your granddaddy apparently didn't know about the chicken who played tic-tac-doe (for a quarter) in NYC and WON. I refer to the Calvin Trillin essay about this chicken. Calvin used to escort visitors to the scene and watch them lose, whereupon they would say "The chicken went first and whoever goes first in tic-tac-doe wins." And Calvin would reply, "Yes, but it's a chicken."
I defy you to find a tic-tac-doe playing cow.
Also, I live in the foothills of the Big Horn Mountain range. I am not a flatlander.

pansixt · « **Reply #5 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 01:53 am »

Yes and we should mention that after you pass the signs, you drive for 100 miles with the roughest, most awesome country on both sides of the road and you just know there is no human alive anywhere....and then you see another sign....School Bus Stop Ahead.... And when you get there, there are one or two little rutted, rough, two tracks running out into nowhere for forty or fifty miles. A few miles later ( and a few in Wyoming is about 225) you run up on the ground covered in white and you think Holy Cow (pun intended; it is open range), this can't be snow because it's early August and you realize it's golf ball size Hail, and thankfully you just missed it and the torrential rain that followed and you just have to roll down the windows (because you're a tourist and you didn't already have them down because you had the AC on), and as you pass Crowheart Butte, the rainbow is amazing and the smell of sage and sweetgrass in the air is astonishing. And like a dream.
And later you drive thru Wind River Canyon and the river is insanely boiling down through the canyon, right beside the road. You can almost touch it.
And the cliffs on the other side of the car are so huge and forbidding and red and black that you just have to pull over and catch your breath (among other bodily necessities) and it is then that you spy a small plaque spiked into the rock with a geological description which says these particular formations are some type of limestone and are precambrian and 3 Billion years old.

And you have to laugh. Not because this is the Humor and Jokes Circle. But because you are human, and are not even a speck in time.

Devil Doc · « **Reply #6 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 01:55 am »

If you weren't a flatlander you wouldn't use the word cow when you meant cattle.

Doc

pansixt · « **Reply #7 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:00 am »

This is very true

To say nothing of the fact that the mountains are a whole lot bigger than the Blue Ridge here in Ol' Virginny.

Eric Strasen · « **Reply #8 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:13 am »

Quote from: Devil Doc on 8 Dec 2013, 01:55 am

If you weren't a flatlander you wouldn't use the word cow when you meant cattle.

Doc

Dear Effete Easterner,
Well excuuuse me.
A couple months ago, I had to drive over the Big Horns, along the way dodging several COWS grazing there at government expense, to visit my oral surgeon in Powell, Wyoming.
How can I be a "flatlander" when my state has more, and higher and more majestic, mountains than the little hillocks in your neck of the woods?
I don't own any cattle, but I do eat cows when I can afford a good steak.
All Hat and No Cattle

pansixt · « **Reply #9 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:18 am »

Eric,

Does your Oral Surgeon in Powell have the obligatory pictures of mining equipment in the treatment rooms?

Devil Doc · « **Reply #10 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:22 am »

Effete? That's low, but not unexpected. You should get out more. Here in the East when we want a good steak we buy steer beef. Cows make for awful eating. And for your information the term flatlander has nothing to do with geography.

Doc

pansixt · « **Reply #11 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:29 am »

Doc,
What, is flatlander the rough equivalent of "Towney"?

Eric Strasen · « **Reply #12 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:29 am »

Quote from: pansixt on 8 Dec 2013, 02:18 am

Eric,

Does your Oral Surgeon in Powell have the obligatory pictures of mining equipment in the treatment rooms?

You will find mining equipment pictures in doctor's offices in Gillette, located in the opposite (east) direction from Sheridan. Gillette is the strip-mined coal capital of the U.S., if not the world.
Eric S.

pansixt · « **Reply #13 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:37 am »

Eric,

East. I hear ya.
I kinda like Dubois. Where the taxi is a stagecoach. And the old wooden board sidewalks of which them new folks there actually were petitioning to have them removed.
And the billboard announces "You are entering Grizzly Country. Special Rules Apply... Aint that the truth?

Eric Strasen · « **Reply #14 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:38 am »

Quote from: Devil Doc on 8 Dec 2013, 02:22 am

Effete? That's low, but not unexpected. You should get out more. Here in the East when we want a good steak we buy steer beef. Cows make for awful eating. And for your information the term flatlander has nothing to do with geography.

Doc

Doc,
First off, it's 12 below zero (F) right now and I'm not going anywhere as it is supposed to get to 20 below tonight.
As for cows, steers, cattle and whatnot -- semantics!
If it has four legs, goes "moo" and is incredibly stupid, it's a cow.
Eric S.

Devil Doc · « **Reply #15 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:40 am »

Quote from: pansixt on 8 Dec 2013, 02:29 am

Doc,
What, is flatlander the rough equivalent of "Towney"?

That's a tough one to answer. Back when I was a kid growing up in Vermont, it was anyone who wasn't from the hills. Now it's come to be used for folks who don't have respect for the way things use to be done and want to change the way you do things, because they know better. Like someone who buys a house next door to a farm and then complains to the town fathers about the smell, or moves next door to a gun range and complains about the noise. It's more complicated than that even, but maybe you begin to understand.

Doc

Devil Doc · « **Reply #16 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:45 am »

Quote from: Eric Strasen on 8 Dec 2013, 02:38 am

Doc,
First off, it's 12 below zero (F) right now and I'm not going anywhere as it is supposed to get to 20 below tonight.
As for cows, steers, cattle and whatnot -- semantics!
If it has four legs, goes "moo" and is incredibly stupid, it's a cow.
Eric S.

Well following your logic, why not call them all bulls?

Doc

pansixt · « **Reply #17 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 02:47 am »

Doc,

Good answer.

Vermont Huh. You ever make it up to Newport to Franks Steak House for one of his Cow Steaks?
With the Big Ass stuffed Polar Bear?

I spent some time in my youth in Glover. On the Beach there.

Eric Strasen · « **Reply #18 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 03:01 am »

Quote from: pansixt on 8 Dec 2013, 02:37 am

Eric,

East. I hear ya.
I kinda like Dubois. Where the taxi is a stagecoach. And the old wooden board sidewalks of which them new folks there actually were petitioning to have them removed.
And the billboard announces "You are entering Grizzly Country. Special Rules Apply... Aint that the truth?

Dubois is a neat town. Another, nearby (in Wyoming terms) place of interest is Pinedale. There is a billboard welcoming visitors with the phrase, "All The Civilization You Need."
Pinedale is the county seat of Sublette County, and the county court there recently made history of sorts when a jury actually convicted someone of murder. It was the first Pinedale murder conviction in anyone's memory. Spousal homicide cases statewide had been known as "Sublette County Divorces."
Apparently, members of the various juries seated over the years felt they could not vote for conviction unless they had personally witnessed the alleged crimes.
The capper: The case was reheard on appeal in a different county and the defendant was found innocent.
Eric S.

Devil Doc · « **Reply #19 on:** 8 Dec 2013, 03:02 am »

Quote from: pansixt on 8 Dec 2013, 02:47 am

Doc,

Good answer.

Vermont Huh. You ever make it up to Newport to Franks Steak House for one of his Cow Steaks?
With the Big Ass stuffed Polar Bear?

I spent some time in my youth in Glover. On the Beach there.

I haven't been to either of those places since the last openly advertised Bread and Puppet Circus. That must be 20yrs or so. I'm originally from St. J. My daughter still lives there so I get to see home once and a while. I'm presently living in NH. Almost the flatlands.

Doc