hey Mike
Not sure this will help at all, you may already be doing this but...
One thng I started doing a way way back in high school on the advice of a shop teacher was to apply stain using 400 grit or finer wet/dry paper and really "sanding" the stain into the wood. Sand it in really well before wiping off any excess, the more you rub it in, the darker it gets and the smoother it becomes. After wiping off the excess, really rub it down with a clean cotton "rag". You end up with a beautiful finish and if you apply mulitple coats, you won't even need a top coat unless you are after a super high gloss finish.
I built some ash tables and did 3 coats like tuis almost 30 years ago and they are still looking very nice
It is time consuming but in my opinion, provides a great look and feel if you take your time.
If you haven't tried this, it may be worth giving it a shot on a samll piece of scrap to see what you think
-jay