i dont understand what your trying to say with the pre amp volume levels and i dont think this is even relevant.
As for the manufacturer saying that the 160 vs 250w sound the same then you'll have to take their word on that one.
All the 250w will give you without a doubt is better bass and when your pushing the 160w to its limits and its sounding harsh the 250w will not be breaking sweat. its really that simple.
Buy the 250w... hell i would look at more power than that if your running full range speakers...
My speakers are 89db too! and i found 510w to be satifying... previouly i had 150w and its really no contest!
But even though i NEVER clip the 510w amp adding another 510w to the mix just made it that much more effortless... and it was worth it.
YOU CAN ALWAYS USE MORE POWER

just be careful you dont go deaf
however if your not really 'using' your stereo and your music or speakers dont contain bass information (or cant reproduce it anyways) then 160w would be fine no doubt!